Potentially an adult with autism? Idk..maybe

Hi there!

I am a 30 year old female with diagnosed Adhd from childhood.

If always felt ...off. but , for most of my life chalked it up to the adhd, mixed with social anxiety..laziness and maybe even a little selfishness.

I hope this doesn't come off wrong because I would have no problem with being on the spectrum. My main fear is if I say to people that I think I might be that they will accuse me of trying to get sympathy or using it to get away with being lazy.

But im struggling and...if its true maybe I could get help.

My reasoning for wondering:

• Ive always been rigid about certain things not everything. For example, if somebody cancels plans on me - even if I totally understand the reasoning, and it's not their fault at all.- I am angry, bothered and might spiral. Usually i'm aware of this and keep it to myself for the most part.But internally i'm struggling with it. And It takes long to overcome it.

• And if someone disagrees with me I sometimes cannot let it go.

• I'vesome habits that may be stimming

• I also cant clap on a beat without needing to stop and if I try to hard it'll make me want to flap my hands ...plus i bite my nails/cuticles and do some other stim like things.

• struggle socially. If my mom, dad or grandmother are not attending- I dont even like to go to social events with my family because im so uncomfortable.

(If my friends or close family are doing something tho I am ok.)

• I beileve im masking a lot to even when I'm seemingly doing well . ( often think- what would my mom say or do. During simple interactions like small talk.)

• I stutter and loose words When explaining things.

• I cannot keep my apartment clean. But am overly organized when I try to clean(which is my I cant get it clean. (I have a lot of issue that are symptoms of Adhd including this)

• I overshare and can accidentally be loud

• I overread peoples vibes and think everyone is mad or hate me

• I have hyperfixations...with A LOT of things anime, games, music, movies, pikachu, pooh lol

• need a lot of time to do anything. I struggle a lot currently because im working 2 jobs. 6 days a week with one day off. So my apartment looks like a *** hole and I ca not get motivated to clean or do any housework.

• I also need the same amount of time for hobbies. I have done nothing while home alone in months involving anything i enjoy. I just watch tv and doomscroll.

• I also believe I participate in Maladapted daydreaming . However its not negatively effecting my life.

  Buttt if ir is infact that- I'vebeen doing it since atleast the 5th grade. And it did impact my life then. Now its more of a non issue.

Theres a lot more if you have questions.

But from people who are on the spectrum or are more knowledgeable than me...whats your opinion? Is it possible or do I sound like im placing blame on it- but doesn'tsound like its a possibility- Or is this just adhd im misreading?

I appreciate any help...please just be kindð¥²