Being overwhelmed

So.... Hi. My name is faith, and i'll apologize if my thoughts are all over the place. So.... lately I've been so overwhelmed with just all kinds of changes in my life that have been out of my hands. I feel like everything is outta my hands and I'm just along for the ride. Life feels at a standstill in some ways and I also feel lonely. and with that, comes so much overwhelm and from that comes feelings of anger and anxiety and frustration. Ive also been depressed and sad lately. Ive felt alone and unheard and completely and utterly misunderstood. And dismissed. Its affecting the way I eat and i'll be real.... Eating already is an anxious thing for me.

Today, as of July 19th. I was with some extended family and having difficulty eating. They like the tv on and they like it so loud I can't even think. I need silence to eat. As I was having some difficulties, they asked me what was wrong? And i, not wanting to get loud and yell, just sighed. I can't even say, please. Im overwhelmed. Because they won't understand. It's a sensory overload. Its a sensory overwhelm. Im easily overwhelmed by noise and taste. I need to eat in silence and without questions. I don't mind talking but I don't wanna speak about my food. Because that makes me think about it and the more I think about it. The more worried and anxious I get. Food is an anxious event for me. I needed to eat and I need to eat without thinking about my food. Of course them asking me about it, made me even more anxious so I also have some vocal reactions when I swallow stuff and it scares me. My extended family panicked and goes: "now what" and at this point I'm just getting angrier and frustrated and very very upset. Because I needed to Eat and now I just wanna cry! I hate how being in these situations make me feel and there's nowhere quiet to eat. ...all in all. Ive been stressed and upset and there's Been so much change that I can't keep up. I just want to be heard and I want life to stop. Because I feel exhausted by it all.