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FaithfulGeekyGal20
1 91,852 M Marching Ahead 7
PathStep 35 Compassion hearts11,203 Forum posts41 Forum upvotes82 Current upvotes82 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2026 Member sinceFebruary 27, 2022
Bio

Boundaries reminder: do not ask me about my age, my living arrangements, where I am, etc. I find it incredibly uncomfortable and do not like talking about Personal identifying information!

For future reference my pronouns are She/Her

I am female.


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Note: I am Neurodivergent. I am a Low Support need, Highly vocal Autistic individual.  My experiences are Valid, and I have different view Points and thoughts, and if you are not open minded, you won't be able to understand my view point. I have experienced ableism. I know Ignorance. Sometimes I may come across as blunt or appear 'ridged' I am not ridged in my thinking. I have thoughts, and a voice and I shall use that voice. Like it or not. You wont always like me. I experience things DIFFERENTLY to you. Understand this. Respect it. And let me have my points as much as I will let you have yours. Thank you.

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Bio: so. Hi there, im FaithfulGeekygal20 and I love A variety of things. Doctor Who (David Tenant only!) Star wars, Game of thrones, pesky blinders, BBC shows like Merlin and Robin Hood, or Monty Python. I'm also a lover of ancient History like Egyptian, Greek, The italian Renissannce, the crusades, or British history. I'm a fan of Welsh and Celtic lore and I particularly enjoy philosophy such as the kind from ppl like Plato or Machevilli (ive read the Prince and Critas)! im fond of literature and could spend hours researching things I find intriguing. I love Voice acting and singing and I'm also Neurodiverse. I'm an empathetic young woman who has a kind heart and a lot of unique interests and I'm always looking to improve And grow and seek out varying perspectives in this crazy thing called life.

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Things about me:

My Acting heroes: Troy Baker, Kevin Conroy, James arnold taylor, Ashley Eckstien, Matthew Mercer, Travis Willingham.

My fave fictional heroes: Torhu honda, Samwise Gamgee, Grog StrongJaw, Orym, Ellie Williams, Rapunzel, Nathan Drake, Jacob Frye, Joel Miller, Nagisa Fuwukara, Riku (KH), Obi-Wan Kenobi, Ahsoka Tano.

My fave food: Avocado toast w/ lemon and sea salt and an over easy egg! Or: Rye toast with butter, garlic and melty cheese slices.

Fave Drinks: Vanilla Cream Soda, Rootbeer, French toast oatmilk latte, Mochas.

Fave games: Last of us, Uncharted, Unfinished Swan, Journey.

Fave TV shows: clone wars, Critical Role, Tangled the Series, Doctor Who, Sherlock BBC, Merlin BBC, Robin Hood BBC 

Least favorite things: Green beans, bullies, being ignored, Science.





















Recent forum posts
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Being overwhelmed
Autism Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 July 21st, 2023
...See more So.... Hi. My name is faith, and i'll apologize if my thoughts are all over the place. So.... lately I've been so overwhelmed with just all kinds of changes in my life that have been out of my hands. I feel like everything is outta my hands and I'm just along for the ride. Life feels at a standstill in some ways and I also feel lonely. and with that, comes so much overwhelm and from that comes feelings of anger and anxiety and frustration. Ive also been depressed and sad lately. Ive felt alone and unheard and completely and utterly misunderstood. And dismissed. Its affecting the way I eat and i'll be real.... Eating already is an anxious thing for me. Today, as of July 19th. I was with some extended family and having difficulty eating. They like the tv on and they like it so loud I can't even think. I need silence to eat. As I was having some difficulties, they asked me what was wrong? And i, not wanting to get loud and yell, just sighed. I can't even say, please. Im overwhelmed. Because they won't understand. It's a sensory overload. Its a sensory overwhelm. Im easily overwhelmed by noise and taste. I need to eat in silence and without questions. I don't mind talking but I don't wanna speak about my food. Because that makes me think about it and the more I think about it. The more worried and anxious I get. Food is an anxious event for me. I needed to eat and I need to eat without thinking about my food. Of course them asking me about it, made me even more anxious so I also have some vocal reactions when I swallow stuff and it scares me. My extended family panicked and goes: "now what" and at this point I'm just getting angrier and frustrated and very very upset. Because I needed to Eat and now I just wanna cry! I hate how being in these situations make me feel and there's nowhere quiet to eat. ...all in all. Ive been stressed and upset and there's Been so much change that I can't keep up. I just want to be heard and I want life to stop. Because I feel exhausted by it all.
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Anxiety w/ food and the physical symptoms of A lump in the throat.
Anxiety Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 July 11th, 2023
...See more Ive dealt with anxiety with food before. I can hardly eat unless I feel safe. And sometimes the food itself makes me feel unsafe. When I was little, my dad used to tell me stories about him nearly (and TW).... Choking on food because he 'ate too fast'. As A teen and young adult I began to have severe anxiety w/ food. I do have texture issues but my father brought on this fear of swallowing food wrong and now. As an adult. My greatest fear is that I will swallow wrong and the food will get lodged and i'll choke. I hate having that Fear. I just swallowed my breakfast hard not but a few moments ago and had to do a breathing exercise to calm my anxious mind down before it turned into a full blown anxiety/panic attack. They can range from mild to severe and often, nobody seems to care how they physically affect me. It causes an intense spiral. So I often don't say anything when I'm in them because all it does is get me the response of 'I can't do anything." Or 'its not a big deal." I have been invalidated. And it hurts. Because it very much is real. It very much causes difficulty in feeling like I can't breathe or that there is a lump in my throat. I don't need anyone to fix the problem I just need reassuring. But unfortunately the ppl around me can't even do that. And that makes it worse. I feel so unsupported sometimes. And no, I don't want medication. Thats not the solution. Getting away from the source of my anxiety is. And its not the food that I need to get away from. I will not elaborate further so please don't ask. Anyway. I wish I didn't deal with this. It makes eating not so fun. Its a chore and I hate it.
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Food, texture, and life skill difficulties, please understand.
General Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 March 16th, 2023
...See more So hi, my name is faith and I want to bring up the fact that I have had several ppl today. Laugh. At the sheer fact that I A.) Had my Oven produce a burnt smell while I was making pizza. Firstly. Allow me to explain that I am 100% capable of making my own food. I do it all the time. I am no stranger to making myself food. B.) What I did by shutting off the oven was smart. Suppose it turned disastrous? What if the oven set the house on fire? I did what I felt was best and trusted my nose. Third. I made the pizza or tried to because I was hungry. I have very very specific routine food requirements. I like to eat my toast in the morning, I like to have a smoothie or soup for lunch. and whatever I get for dinner. Im not too picky about. But as I discovered there was no Almond milk, due to the slight dairy intolerance I have. I chose to make a pizza. I can eat a pizza. It won't trigger my anxiety w/ food. And I have much anxiety w/ food. Now. I am sitting here. Eating Yogurt and I had, luckily could get it down, a chicken sandwich w/ honey mustard. The whole point to this post is. I am a Neurodivergent woman who has texture issues and anxieties w/ food because of it. I am lucky I am able to maintain a healthy weight for my body because of this. Please understand that I deal w/ difficulties w/ food. And do not poke fun at it. It is not funny. And I find this incredibly rude.
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Grief TW cancer
General Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 February 22nd, 2023
...See more So.... Last year. Around this time upcoming.... A lot happened. I rang in the new year, 2022 with my friend. And then... Come February 19th.... She... Suffered and passed away from brain cancer. I was on call with someone else when a person I am no longer friends with. Called me. To tell me... Our mutual friend had died. I was alone when my friend passed away. I remember screaming and shouting and Calling another friend and no one came to me. There was no empathy. There was no comfort. I screamed. I cried. I blasted music in my ears and fell into a grief ridden depression. For weeks after that... There was no texts to check in on me. No family made sure I was alright. all I had was what I could use to cope. I have a spiritual belief. So I guess that's all I had. I needed more than that... I needed someone to tell me I was going to be ok. That it was ok to hurt. To cry. I needed someone to let me cry in their arms. And now. I cut off every single one of those ppl who abandoned me in my grief. They're not around anymore. And I'm facing this anniversary of my friend's death alone. Ive had anxiety being graced with such amazing opportunities. I felt guilty. Did I deserve to go after these things? It hurts knowing she isn't here. I keep bracing for that day. I keep bracing for the memories I know that'll resurface. The hurt.... I loss. Every sad moment that followed those six months after she died. The anger. Why did they leave me? Why did they hurt me? Why couldn't they pick up the dang phone and reassure me? Why? I had done so for them! I was there for them! Instead they hurt me my giving me silence. And now I'm here. I feel so bitter towards the idea of friendship. I feel bitter towards love. Id rather shut off my heart to anyone. Than open it at this point. I miss my friend. And I feel alone this month. Despite everything.
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Love isn't real.
Relationship Stress / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 January 24th, 2023
...See more So.... Im gonna preface this with, if anyone gives me any of that 'you shouldn't worry about a relationship or love or you're so young' crap. I just... Please don't. Ok? From the time that I first knew what love was, ive either fallen for the wrong guys or had a lot of them reject me. at this point in my life, I don't know what love is. And I don't know what ppl want but clearly I'm not it. Ive tried loving who I am and I've tried to enjoy my 'singleness'. I've read books about waiting, ive listened to podcasts. Ive heard every thing I can under the sun and tried to do what they said. I wrote out my feelings, I did the letters. I grew up w/ a spiritual belief, I even prayed. I thought I did things right. I thought I was doing what I was supposed to. I tried to heal from the past bad relationships. I tried to forgive every person who I let in. I thought maybe I was holding onto baggage. I tried therapy at one point. Ive tried and tried. As all around me I watched my female peers finding their person and praising 'God' for answering their prayers. When I'd been on my own knees asking 'God' to open a door to love. When that love I wanted didn't even have a chance because the person I thought was the peace at last didn't even want me. And at last. After all these years. I sit here and watch as a family member prepares to 'get engaged' to her boyfriend of five years. While I've never even been on a DATE! no one has ever looked at me and wanted to take me out. No one, as I sit here with tears in my eyes and such an anger in my heart. As I sit here and hate. Love. I hate it with a passion because come my birthday I will still be alone. Come next year I will be alone. No one wants me. And sometimes it is like the 'God' those same girls in my female peer circle, must have put some invisible sign on my back that just says 'this one doesnt get to have a boyfriend, don't say I like you too, to her' God. The universe. Whatever you may believe. Its like I've been singled out and it angers me. I try and try to be good enough. Kind enough. I try to be the woman who supports and is there for those around her. But no. That's not quality to be dated. That's 'YOU'RE JUST A FRIEND' material when I am WORTHY. I am worthy of being looked at as beautiful as the rest of these shallow walking women who are so ugly on the outside I couldn't fathom a man looking at them. I can't even look at them. But that's what they want? Shallow people? Yet I'm the one who's passed by. Rejected. Again and again and again. There isn't love In my future and it hurts. It honestly hurts.
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My Anxiety: a Struggle
Anxiety Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 January 15th, 2023
...See more So... Ive discovered a few things about me in the last few years. One. I have an anxious attachment style. And two: I have some from of the fear of Separation/Separation anxiety. I also think I have some kind of relationship anxiety that is experienced in relationships where there has been a severe Amount of one sided communication, and a factor in this is silence. I don't do well with silence. And that comes from a fear of abandonment and thinking youre leaving me, which stems from a parent who used to threaten to leave when I was little. suffice to say I haven't exactly been set up for healthy relationships and I just cut off two relationships that unbeknownst to me was causing me severe anxiety with their silence in not answering me or calling back or texting back. You see, I don't feel entitled to anyone's time. I am not owed anything. But the way I'm wired, "someone thinking of me" isn't enough. You need to be active with me. I need you to actively at least try to reach out in a manner that is consistent and not so random. Someone did that and the pattern of sporadic communication actually caused more harm than good. They'd reach out then not reply when I tried to initiate communication. These relationships cause me anxiety. Im awake RN because of them. Though I plan to somehow sleep. I just can't. If you wanna be my friend, don't leave me in silence. You either say you're busy or get out of my life. You need to be the one reaching back to me. Relationships are not one sided. And if you believe that. You're wrong. All in all... Learning this about me.... Hurts. I don't want any of it. But seeing how it hurts. I can't help but wonder am I better off alone?
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Going silent and ADD/ADHD
ADHD Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 December 27th, 2022
...See more So.... Ive fondly spoken of a long distance guy friend I have. Ive talked about him before and often in good light. There have been down moments too but things always turn around. Im worried about him.... He's gone quiet on me before and mostly, I know its cause he's struggling with something that's got him knocked. And sometimes that thing that knocks him really hurts him. He's got a very sensitive heart and he really is a kind individual. Hes funny, he's supportive. He's been good for me. But... Every time he goes quiet I think on an event two years ago where... I thought I might lose him to his own depression... He wasn't ok. And I heard it in his voice. I saw it in his face. I felt it. Somehow I just knew.... So I was on him. I was stubborn. I was adamant to ask if he was ok.... I never stayed up til 1 a.M with worry for someone. And a million ppl looked at me as if I was crazy. How can u care about someone who is a million miles away? ...in my heart I felt he needed someone just to be kind. And to be patient. I still feel this. Immensely. I don't wanna keep bothering him with texts left on read and a worry that he's not answering because he's probably overwhelmed w/ something. I know its not on me. I am not to blame for his choice to be Silent. But I also won't let it push me away. Im too stubborn for that. And I care too much. Im a tough girl too. What do I do? And has anyone done this, Just gone completely silent. Especislly being on the spectrum of ADHD.
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Feeling stagnant in a long distance friendship
Friendship Support / by FaithfulGeekyGal20
Last post
 November 12th, 2022
...See more So, ive known someone important to me for about two and a half to three years. We met in 2020 officially but We'd unknowingly been speaking since 2018 (making it technically five years total that we've been in contact. As back in 2018 I had no idea I was speaking to the person who would come into my life in two years time and be one of the reasons I finally sought help from my depression and trauma because He was worried about me. and would also be the reason why I jumped at a passion of mine, a passion for acting. Its crazy to think that since meeting him, the things I've done and experienced. And it feels so much longer than just three years that everything has occurred. All the good, the tougher patches, the moments where he makes me laugh and I made him laugh. The growing pains and the stupid things, misunderstandings and the honest talks. So much has happened and we've only ever spoken to each other verbally like three times in the last three years. Honestly I think us texting back and fourth hasn't lead to many misunderstandings. A few. Maybe. But it's weird... I can almost feel whatever emotion he's put out there. And he knows what I'm feeling too. Its the oddest emotional connection I've ever had w/ someone. But... Rather recently ive had my fair share of.... Doubts. Ive often wondered over the last year and a half why he's stuck around. ....so Many ppl kinda up and drifted away from me after a friend of mine died of brain cancer. One straight up ghosted me multiple times. The other blamed me for us not talking. And one... I dont even know where that one is. The other was diagnosed w/ schizophrenia and the other.... Got a boyfriend under circumstances I dont wanna dive into. The long and the short of it is, As the group of ppl I once loved started pulling away from me, and I was dealing w/ grief and pain, id text him in the moments when I was hurting. Because the ppl i wanted weren't answering me and I needed them. Instead, to get my mind off things... Id text him. Ask him something, some acting question or some dumb nerdy question, were both big comic book and video game geeks. And he'd answer me and We'd talk. And it helped. He showed me empathy with boundaries in regards to grief. He may not have been comfortable being the ear to listen about it (he told me as much and I respected that he let me know his limits) but if he couldn't be that I was not gonna get mad at him. Id rather someone tell me their limits rather than go silent on me. So he helped in other ways. Weather he ever knows that or not. Him answering me was enough to bring me peace. And I think therein lies what my other friends couldn't do. They couldn't take the time to just help me talk about something else. They chose silence.... But.... Im getting long winded I suppose. In essence. He stayed. He's stayed through a lot of dumb things. Dumb moments and situations where I thought he would just walk out like so Many before, have. Im grateful to him. But then I started to doubt what can I bring? What is left to do? Im here to encourage him as much as he's encouraged me. Im here to support him as much as he supported me. He's given me so much just with his honesty and his advice and his wisdom and the times he took to help me. And i'll show up to whatever events he's part of, as best I can, they're mainly virtual, but I show up. And I cheer him on and he's cheered me on.... But yet I felt stagnant and maybe even worried that I'd Done all I can. How, in all this, can you find ways to keep being supportive when you feel things are limited? How can you keep growing when youre so far away from each other?
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