I cannot stand it when people do this
Even though I have not dealt with something like this for a while, I realize it's something that bothers me.
For example, someone makes it seem like they are readily available to do x and then you meet up with them. Then when you meet up with them, they seem to spring things upon you "Oh hold on, I have such and such to do first." So they make you wait while they take their time doing this or that.
Something like this happened some years back and it annoyed me too. Back when I attended a synagogue in 2017, it would take me two hours to get up there as I take public transit. Right when services were starting, one of its members offered to take me home after the services and lunch were over.
When lunchtime was over, I not only learned that I would be riding with her roommates but we could not go until she started helping to prepare for Passover. So I ended up having the wait for two hours as I had expected to go home and take a nap right after lunch. This included pulling out old plates, and other utensils which I also helped wash to make the time go by faster. However, she also seemed to drag her feet on some other things. It got to the point that I ended up growling at her in annoyance which she thought was a part of having autism. To her, it was a meltdown when I was upset because she wasn't upfront with me, to begin with. Because, had I known that, I probably either would have looked for another ride or commuted back home on public transit.
@Summershy
That is frustrating for anyone......
while nice they offer they should let you know "I have a few things to do " and give an accurate time frame ............so you could have taken public transit or another ride.
@toughTiger6481
I agree with you there on that situation with anyone being frustrated with her. Even her roommate's daughter expressed that she wanted to go home. Unlike me, who was annoyed, she had a good attitude by asking in a cute manner. Basically, she asked with pleading hands, "Are we ready yet?"
However, would you say that I had a meltdown, and why?
@Summershy
No not a meltdown in my mind
just basic frustration and while you could have spoken up about how long would this be... many people being polite as this person offered a ride would have tried to grin and bare it too. ........
i find the rudeness on her part ...if she did not have an idea the items would take that long ..... after seeing it was taking so much time ......she could have said something in helping you to get another ride or something.
@toughTiger6481I
I also agree that it was extremely rude of her to her roommate, the daughter and I along with that. I also didn't appreciate her suppressing my feelings by blaming my behavior for being autistic. I also thought it was rude to hold her roommates up like that.
Anyway, I read about a similar situation on another autism-related forum about someone who was getting ready to drive to a party. They ended up getting a call at the last minute from a friend who made it sound like they were available. When they got there, they were told, "Hold on, I need to do my grandma's hair." However, they strung them along for two hours and were told they were still not ready. So the person said they left with their sibling to go to the party only to have the individual who strung them along throw a fit and blame the OP for "Abandoning them," lol.
@toughTiger6481
Yes, it was very selfish and inconsiderate of her to pull what she did.
@Summershy
I can totally understand how frustrating it is when someone gives you the impression that they're all set and ready to go, only to spring unexpected delays on you. It's like they're playing a game of "Gotcha!" and it can really throw you off. In situations like these, it's completely valid to express your frustrations. Let them know how their lack of transparency and unexpected changes affected you. It's all about being respectful and considerate of each other's time. Next time you find yourself in a similar situation, don't hesitate to speak up and let them know how you feel. Clear communication can help prevent misunderstandings and ensure smoother plans for everyone involved.
@cindyzheng1344
I was bothered by this for years and wondered why. After giving it some thought, this came to mind.
“You know? I was upset because she promised to take me home and made it sound one way when it didn’t. She also made me wait for a few hours.
@cindyzheng1344
I thought of something else, I really feel that when that woman held everyone up, it was very inconsiderate. What if I had other commitments with other people at that time and but because she tied up my time, I would have had to bail? However, this would have been true for her roommate and her daughter. Then to turn around and blame my behavior on having autism? Hello, shifting the blame.
