I cry a lot when I don't get the same opportunities
Hi:
Since I started working, I have always cried when I see other people getting to do tasks and other opportunities when I am not given some of the same responsibilities. Rather, I am often given things in small chunks or given more menial type work.
For example, one time when I went to volunteer at a church event, I found out they were needing servers for a special holiday dinner for seniors. I had always wanted the opportunity to work as a waitress. So when I asked the lady in charge she told me they had already had everyone that they needed but I could help in the kitchen. This was even though I didn't tell her that had autism or any other disability. Well when it got closer to the event, she came to my adult singles Sunday school that she needed help with the event.
When it came time for the actual event, I found out that just about everyone else in my Sunday school class got to help out by being a server. Meanwhile, I helped out in the kitchen with food prep and yes, there were nice people back there too. However, I broke down and cried because
A. I felt like I was lied to
B. I wanted to be with my peers
Hi @Summershy
I'm so sorry to hear that you've been going through this. It sounds like you have been working hard and have a desire to take on new responsibilities and opportunities, but have been met with disappointment. It's understandable that you would feel upset and even lied to! It's important to remember that you deserve to be treated fairly and with respect, and it's okay to express your feelings and speak up for yourself. I hope you will feel better soon and that we will give you the tasks you prefer. Take care <3
@Mya000
She knew that I had to have some sort of invisible disability and she didn't know what to do but I think she lied to me to spare my feelings but didn't want to say no. Luckily, I didn't get to just wash dishes, I was also able to help prep the food and enjoy time with other people.
However, I remember having a crush on one of my peers in that group who was condescending to me on a few occasions. He saw me crying in the kitchen earlier and then saw me feeling better laughing later. When I said goodnight to him he blurted out, "Get help, alright."
@Summershy
I'm glad this day ended up better and that you were able to help with food prep and spend time with others! It's not easy when someone is condescending like this :( I hope next times will be better from the start. Don't hesitate to come talk to me in PM if ever you prefer by the way!
Oh no, this happened nearly 20 years ago, however, I used it as an example as a person with a disability.
Ah ok I see!
@Mya000
The lady who worked in the kitchen was very nice but I don't think she wanted to hurt my feelings because she knew that I probably had to have some sort of disability. I tried to keep it from my aunt because she was a narcissistic abuser and was often very cold. However, the lady told her that I was crying and so she wanted to know why. When I told my aunt that I was disappointed, she wasn't very supportive. Instead, it was, "Well, you do have some problems with coordination and she probably thought you might drop the food." Sure but that's discrimination. However, she does have a point that I am not going to be good at everything.
@Summershy So very sorry to hear this.
I truly am.
Crying is healthy and it is ok to cry.
@calmMango9611
Thank you so much I was able to let it all out by crying but then again, everything else was bothering me.
@Summershy I'm sorry about your aunt and that discrimination. Nobody's good at everything anyway, and it's OK to drop food anyway <3 It happens to everyone!
When it comes to people with disabilities, other people can be so arrogant.
@Summershy Unfortunately yes :(
Hello,
I relate to this idea a lot generally. For me, it seems to come from seeing friends/family/co-workers doing things that I can't do easily or as naturally. It can be relatively small things, like going to stores/new places, meeting people and making plans...it's frustrating and depressing a lot.