Awful. I'm so full of sadness. Trying to make it through the workday but I keep crying. I'm finding it difficult to calm myself down :-(
I get that way too
Im crying over literally everything. 0.o
I've just had a rough few months. It's so bad that when my partner and I had sex last night my g/f realized it's been almost 3 months since I'd even shown interest in kissing her. I just want to be okay, ya know? But I'm also scared of a manic episode.. So, idk, maybe this is better?
Well today I feel exhausted, spacey and burnt out. Yesterday I had a psychiatrist appointment and I told him about the side effects to my medication. I am on Lithium and Epival. They are the only thing, combined, that has worked for me in the past 10 years so I am afraid to go off them, but I am starting to wonder if its worth it with the side effects and possible long term health risks. Anyway Itold my psychiatrist that I have migraines sometimes every week, sometimes only twice a month; but that means I am in bed, head pounding, in the dark, for 10-12 hours, getting up every 30 mins to throw up violently. Secondly, I am constantly clenching and grinding my teeth. My jaw aches constantly and my neck and back feel tense. I get lock-jaw, and sometimes I can barely eat because it hurts to chew. And you know what my psychiatrist said?? HE SAID THAT ISN'T THAT BAD!!!!!!!! Seriously. The medication doesn't make my mood perfect. It allows me to remain in society without being locked up, but I'm still battling in my mind day to day! And if that's not bad enough I have to constantly take over the counter pain killers just so that the pain in my jaw and neck don'tbecome OVERWHELMING. And that is FROM the bipolar meds. And maybe I could handle the constant migraines where i'mmissing chunks of my life suffering in the dark and puking, if it didn't affect my jobs. Bosses don't appreciate me having to call in sick to work consistently several times a month. My psychiatrist just acted like it was no big deal. How is that supposed to make me feel if the person who is in charge of my medications and mental health doesn't even see a solution? It makes me feel like there is no hope. That this is how it will always be. Yesterday I felt like killing myself. I cried for 3 hours straight in the middle of the night staring at all my medications on the table in front of me. I don't think that ending my life is the right thing to do, but I wish it didn't have to be this hard. Why is it that most of my life what I remember most is the hurt and the struggles?And now that I am working hard, that I have been trying hard for 10 years, its still not better. It is still hard. 
So the reason I feel tired, burnt out and spaceyis because I barely slept last night, and I feel drained from crying. Also, I had to go to school looking like crap with red puffy eyes. Yay!
i'm so sorry, that was really insensitive of your psyche. is it possible for you to see a new psychiatrist, maybe?
It is really difficult to find a new psychiatrist. They all have 5 months to a year long waiting lists, and sometimes it can take forever. I waited a long time for this psychiatrist in the first place, so that is why it is discouraging.
that sounds awful, honestly. I'm sorry he said that stuff. For real??
Yeah, I get some bad side effects as well. For the grinding, a night gaurd really helped. You can get one in the dental aisle. I tried cheaper ones, but the one for $40 finally helped. If your insurance covers it(mine doesn't) you can get on custom-molded at the dentist.
I started seeing a chiropractor, and she's amazing. That, with a neck support pillow and back support doohickey added to my old desk chair, and I've been much, much better. For the migraines, I alternate ibuprofen and acetominophen. The decreased back and neck strain helped a lot with the headaches, too.
Good luck, hun. There may be alternative meds or combinations, if you're willing to try some out.
Hello. I have Bipolar Disorder and i feel like a burden. I feel like everyone has pay attention to my needs. I feel like i dont know how to problem solve... And i cant deal with conflict.. I got fired... And my ex boss said "youre not the same person that i hired" and that really hurt me :'(
I feel really melancholy today. Like I'm just floating through this dream state where nothing feels real. I haven't been sleeping either (about 2 hours a day for a few days), but I'm not tired.
@neyonether i am sorry to hear you felt that way today. I know bipolar is not easy, as i too have been suffering from bipolar for 9 years and counting. if you ever need to just talk and have someone listen feel free to message mehttps://www.7cups.com/11570543
I have been mainly calm today but I'm worrying because I got a rash from lactimal and had to stop taking it. I went to the doctor and it's not the fatal one but I am allergic to it. I'm worried because I think it's what made me feel better and now I'm going off it and my psychiatrist isn't giving me anything else for a while.
Hello Everyone,
I feel like im just coming out of a low. I missed a week of work and this is my 2nd day back at work. Im afraid that my job is going to fire me but i cant bring myself to tell my boss/human resource the truth. During this time I was not taking my medicine. I dont understand why if the med combo (zyprexa & zoloft)that is finally working but i have skipped many doses. Im frustrated with myself and this illness. Question in my head: If I have a solution why is my stubborn mind being uncooperative? I have been in denial of my illnes and i still feel like im at the beginning.
yeah. if you skip meds they can't work! Also, under the news laws, they can't fire you and need to provide accomodations for you(like alternative hours, or working from home some days, things like that). I know someone who had a social worker go with them to meet with human resources. There's a lot of good support out them, like mental health advocates.
Personally, I'd rather tell people my difficulties than have them maybe thing I wasn't committed to my job. I wasn't diagnosed yet when I lost my job, so I had no recourse. I need stuff like short shifts(4-5hrs) and two short breaks instead of one long one.
Good luck
Thank you for sharing. Im starting to feel better now im consistently taking my meds. I will go speak with human resoucrces and make them aware of my situation. Its very difficult to tell others about my condition for fear of ridicule.
I don't feel so good physically or psychologically but I've to continue doing my part-time work regardless of how am feeling inside my head or body. It took me quite a long time to get out of bed this morning and to complete the basic tasks of getting ready for the tasks ahead in order to perform anything that I needed to accomplish.
I'm in the process of trying to figure out why my physical body is acting up so bad to the point of tears and it's making me more miserable or not wanting to work or get out of bed even when I don't get any sleep at night.
I've been very tired from getting normal things done. I wonder how I could live a normal life if I'm exhausted from 2 appointments and some laundry.
I'm trying to take it as it comes. I feel a mood coming over me right now, same time as usual, so I'm going to do self-care...shower and journal then read in bed for a while. I don't think I'll have much trouble sleeping, even though I slept last night and all day today.
Be well
I'm feeling great! New meds, new dawn, new day. I feel like I have managed to overcome depression which is one of the most amazing things!
All my love,
Lee