How to deal with loneliness?
Hi, Im new to 7 cups! This isnt really related to my bipolar but I wasnt sure where to post this. Im having a lot of trouble adjusting to the fact that my roommate, who is also a close friend, spending all her time now with her boyfriend. The more serious they get, the less time she is able to spend with me. I really miss her, and also its hard to continually be single as I get older and watch my friends pair off. I would really like someone to go through life with, but I think its going to be super difficult to find someone to date since Im a 36 year old woman, overweight and not conventionally attractive, and plus Im not sure how a man will react to my recent diagnosis of bipolar. I told the last guy I dated about my past breakdown (which I guess was a manic/depressive cycle), and he laughed and said I should never tell a guy that. He was also super controlling and manipulative, so not a super nice guy, so I guess Im still carrying baggage from that too. Anyway, Im in counseling but Im trying to figure out additional means of support and connection so I dont feel so lonely in all this. Any advice for how to handle feeling left behind as the single girl (who has just been labeled bipolar) would be much appreciated!
@Sarah32100
Hi Sarah!
Thank you for reaching out to us at 7Cups :) This is a great place to seek support when you're feeling lonely as we have so many supportive people who want to listen to how life is for you! We're a very active community so I'm sure you'll be able to find some support here for loneliness and also your recent diagnosis too.
It's not easy when you see that your friends are meeting significant others and you feel left on the side. Perhaps you could try to get out more in your local area? It sounds like you're really craving to meet other people so it sounds like the more you can get out the better too.
Keep well and all the very best!
Lisa
@LisaDeRegtBScPsychCogDipCounsDip thank you for your welcoming words and suggestions! I am feeling more hopeful today!
@Sarah32100
Welcome to the Bipolar Support community!
I think a lot of people with empathise with your situation and I am glad you found 7Cups and in particular our little corner of it here.
We hold group support dicussions that you can join in with and also discussions here on the forums, 'Have you found a listener for 1-1's that can be very helpful. You can find a list of listeners here under the Chat tab at the top and then Browse listeners. https://www.7cups.com/BrowseListeners/
@MistyMagic thanks for your support! What do you mean by group discussions, you mean the group chats? I
@Sarah32100
Yes the group chats! We are working on a new schedule I can link you soon
@Sarah32100
First off, welcome aboard... both to the site and to the diagnosis...
I find meetup is great for at least being sociable. I'm in 9 different local groups that do everything from meet for coffee, up to 3 day hiking trips on the weekends. The next week of available events include the farmers market, salsa dancing, biking, peotry night, board games, and the annual food event. I was already booked up 3 weeks ago or I'd be doing at least 2 of the 8 events. There ARE local meetup groups that go beyond casual meetings of friends, which I'd imagine are just about everywhere if you look.
Over the school year, I'm out with a meetup group about once a week. Over the summer it's about every 2 weeks.
@Phoenix84 wow, lots of good options! Thanks for the tip! Sounds like you have a great fun filled few weeks ahead, enjoy!
@Sarah32100
Don't know if you'd call the next few weeks fun... 2 more days now of 0630-1430 doing parking at an agriculture exhibition, more work Thursday night, working a BBQ on Saturday, doing night supervision at a youth camp the next weekend, and so far 3 medical appointments in August so far, and got a letter today for a procedure in September that I have to call and confirm details tomorrow...
And that doesn't count 2-3 nights a week at the gym, or the weekly bipolar group...
Probably make the farmers market meetup on Sunday, the timeslot for the bike ride and farmers market was filled a month ago, so certainly won't be doing those. It's rare for me to have more than 1 entirely free evening a week.