How did you know you were bipolar?
I have been struggling with depression and anxiety my whole life but I am starting to think there is something else "wrong" with me because I don't feel like other people experience these like I do? I feel like that's a horrible and self centered way to say it but I don't know how else to say it.
Anyways, I wanted to know what your guys' first symptoms were/what caused you to be diagnosed? I know I don't have BP1 but maybe BP2?
@Bebecatlover
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It's not self centered at all .
You are allowed to share your feelings honestly and openly. Sometimes it can be hard when we don't have the right answers or support.
We can feel alone in our struggles.
I hope other people can relate to what you are going through and share their experiences 💕💜
Was really sad and alot of anxiety and feeling so alone
@Gabby2222
Hi Bebecatlover, I can relate to how you feel. I always felt that I was different. I mean, it was always harder for me to connect with others and even when I was surrounded by friends or at fun events, I always felt so empty. Sometimes I would get into a sad mood over something I did or said and think that I didn't deserve the great thing I had in the moment.
I lot of this stuff happened during my first relationship. I always pushed him away and he would try to get me to open up but it was always difficult for me to do so. I could never clearly communicate my feelings or thoughts. He thought that it was his fault. He thought that he did something to make me upset but it was all me.
When our relationship ended, I was devastated. It took me a really long time to get through the breakup and I really wanted to understand why it happened. Why was I the way I was? Why did I react that way? I spent a lot of time trying to understand myself and accept who I am. I believe I've made a lot of progress but I still don't feel ready for another relationship.
Anyways long story short, my first relationship is what caused me to deep dive into Quiet BPD and many of the symptoms are described above.
I have been measuring when I feel this way since and it isn't in intervals associated with BP so I have really started to consider quiet BPD. I don't show main BPD symptoms since I am not impulsive and am pretty responsible but my thoughts are so intense. For example I have never tried to off myself but I think about it multiple times a week if not multiple times daily. If someone says they want to hang out tomorrow and not today I start to spiral and think about hurting myself even though I haven't in years. In conclusion, I need to go back to therapy and I just don't have insurance right now. Once I do, I will mention this and I will be truthful about my thoughts because when I was going before I would always up play my emotions.
@BebecatloverIt’s not self-centered at all — it’s really common to notice that your experience of mental health feels different from others’. That curiosity and awareness is valid.
My mood instantly changes and yk what’s crazy is .. I can feel when it happens and I can’t control it.
I've had problems since 14 and I'm 62 now. Think I've had anhedonia real bad and couldn't hold a conversation or enjoy myself and mind raced and incredible anxiety. Then had breakdown in college and after college and nothing helped. Had ECT in 1992 and destroyed me. Been on disability most of my life. Taken every psych med and last year depakote and Seroquel have helped but not nearly 100 percent. Took lithium over 17 years and nothing. Also have Asperger's and OCD, PTSD from hospitals. Abused and ignored.
I think Bipolar Disorder is extremely hard to diagnose, well for me it was. I had symptoms of psychosis which started because I had anxiety and couldn’t sleep for days.
Have you tried seeing a doctor? They probably would be the best people to evaluate your situation. Doctors were my saving grace.
I wish you the best on your journey!
@livingthedream26
My anxiety was acute most of my life and Drs would get angry if you complain about anxiety. A Chinese Resident 30 years ago yelled and threw his book because I said I was anxious. Another sick dr said "Your anxiety is almost psychotic and you're a schmuck". He continued to abuse me.
I’m really sorry you experienced that. I had some bad experiences too. I never gave up trying to find a doctor that supports me.
I truly hope you find someone that can help you. Don’t give up on yourself!!
If you do have bipolar, BP1 is more mania. Or like a state of having high energy, excitement, and euphoria over a period of time. BP1 is very very severe and this can cause you to make crazy decisions that can be life risking. BP2 is hypomania and more depressive. Mania can happen but it’s less severe. Depressive episodes are more frequent and more severe than BP1.
