relationships with bpd

I don't know how you can help, I can just guess. Ask him, what you can do? Be empathetic and non judgemental. Ask him to consult a therapist. You can also meet that therapist and discuss about how you can help him. But take care of yourself too.

It is hard. My partner suffers from bipolar and I’m not sure if he’s diagnosed but shows all the symptoms. O. Tip of that, he has a back injury that’s kept him from working for the last 3 years and recently flared up on him. During this time he pushed me away. He’s been very distant, barely communicates with me. He shared with a mutual friend he was not feeling like a man because he can’t shake this injury. I understand that he doesn’t want to seem weak to me, but I want to be his support system through it all. It’s been super difficult for me because we communicated all day, everyday. And now this silence. I don’t want to give up or turn my back on him, so I’ve been reading up on bipolar and depression. It’s definitely a rough spot to be in and I too have been trying to navigate this because he is a goof, kind, loving man.

@calmBlueberry6346

Hi! I can offer insight because I'm the one in my relationship that is bipolar. Sometimes, it's really difficult to be able to properly process emotions. I get overly mad or overly upset over little things and I don't particularly enjoy being that way. My boyfriend didn't quite understand how to help at first and approached those situations with arguments and frustration, which only escalated the matter. However, he's working on changing his approach to patience, which seems to be helping some. I'm learning how to take a step back, breathe, and collect myself before engaging with the situation. When I feel anger, sometimes it's at a reasonable level, other times it feels like a boiling pit in my stomach, the kind of anger that makes you shaky. Sometimes my sadness is normal, other times I can't bring myself to get out of bed. Sometimes I sleep all day, other times I barely sleep at all, and it's stressful. The best way to work through it, is sit down and talk with him, ask him how he should be approached during situations where he doesn't seem himself. The thing I've found with myself, and other people who are bipolar, is if someone starts getting loud with us, we will get loud back. So I never recommend getting loud. Being huffy is another thing to look out for, at least with me, if my boyfriend is huffy with me, my first thought is if I did something wrong, then I start pestering him about it, which leads to a disagreement. I can almost guarantee that your boyfriend doesn't like how he acts or feels during those times, but is having a hard time learning how to control it. The best thing I can recommend is patience. But you also need to choose yourself too. Sometimes, my boyfriend can't handle me, and that's ok. He'll take a few hours to think and take some time to himself, but if he ever ended up leaving me because of it, I wouldn't hold it against him.

Ask him. And in that moment when he seems so difficult know it's trauma and the disease talking. Not who he is at the core. Separate the two. He wants to be understood. Something may have triggered him. Try to talk him through it. Ask how you can be of support but whatever you do don't condemn in that moment or talk down even if you want to. My husband gets that way and it hurts. Or labels me manipulative. And it's me having fears or trying to get a need met. My brain is going haywire. I have a desire to change but the trauma and brain chemistry is leading. I'm not always rational. Remain the calm one.