how do you feel about...
Hey friends
Just want to know about your experiences in your culture - wherever you may be from.
Are you at peace with the kind of interactions and exchanges that happen, or are you secretly annoyed by a lot of things and tagging along the crowd anyway?
What are some of the things that irk you in your surroundings with respect to socialising?
What are some of the things you appreciate about your society?
You dont have to share name of your city or anything. I am just curious to hear what are the feelings around today.
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For me..... today I am feeling really miffed with:
- people sending u bad energies. Like having malice in their heart from envy / competition. Its not even that these people are of your age group or same profession. Its really random. It makes me sad to see society around me having degraded to this level. Today I received a comment on a marriage app Im using "you will keep waiting around for it".... ive usually been the type to walk away from such negativity but recently im changing my approach. So i replied to the person "i wish you the same. Actually worse." ... If we are playing a game of random hate, then I am gona join it as a fun participant instead of sulking about being a victim. Lol.
- I feel really really put off with males trying to squeeze any advantage out of women whenever they get a chance. Its like you always have to be on guard about your safety and its not very comfortable functioning in this way. Today i had a procedure with a doctor and he has some sleaze in him but im sticking with him because its recommended to complete the procedure from where u started. So u have to tolerate some stuff. So my face skin was a bit rough and I asked him for any solution and hes like oh let me see.. and he looked at my face and then moved his hands over my arms and then he goes ohh so the skin on ur arms is fine , ill give u a cream for ur face..... like im not dumb. Sliding ur hands over my bare arms wasnt necessary at all to know if the skin is fine or not & i only asked for face anyway!
- I cant stand sexual shaming either ... again this doctor person. Hes a married person and then he started saying to me "u know once men know the girl is in her 30s shes likely not a virgin and then they cant think about marriage with her. They only think about flings. That might be happening with u." >>>>> like he was trying to inquire if i was a virgin or not, assuming I wasnt. And it was just ewwww. unasked for. Maybe it was a way of asking if im open to having a fling with him? .... yuck -
- I cant stand people mistreating those lower in financial status. Its arrogance of a very bad form. It makes me feel really hurt simply witnessing it. my father is constantly doing this to our hired helps.... its so so shameful. And he mistreats family members too of course especially my mother ... he screamed and insulted her today... she is already suffering from depression but the abuse isnt ending.. theyre like 70+ and its so painful seeing that this man has learnt no behavioral etiquette till now ..
What are the good things from todays experience?
Well I had some people give me smiles. It felt good.
The technician who drew my blood for the procedure was super gentle and caring.
Thats about it.
Thanks for listening.
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@Amanda84
@Torean
@YourCaringConfidant
@mytwistedsoul
Lots of vibes here of small ignorances. Like, people tend to be nice, but they also tend to be surprised or even occasionally less interested in talking to you if they find out you're not religious or don't have kids.
@Torean ahh thats really limited horizons.
Howre you otherwise?
Im working on finding my peace & balance in small steps.
I miss our chats :)
Isn't it? I'm doing ok... I'm sick, but not too badly. I miss our chats too, but take all the time you need. 😊
Okay good, its not too bad.
You are in my heart and prayers.
@Torean
@Creamyyy
You shouldn't have had to put up with this ignorance at all, and going to a doctor should be simple not invasive and what right did he have questioning you about anything.
A woman's worth is not tied to her sexuality.
I don't care if a woman is a virgin or not.
If she likes having sex or she wants to wait
If she has children or doesn't.
If she's career driven or family orientated or both.
If she's slim or curvy, tanned or pale, blonde or brunette, she's a human being first and capable of making her own choices .
In my society , mostly people are friendly and down to earth and kind, but the thing I don't like is superiority because realistically no one is above anyone else 🩷
Yeah I still have one session left. After one month. I cant wait for this to be over.
Generally speaking - most men in my community cant have healthy conversations with women. Theyre simply not capable of working without sleaze.
Its also a more segregated community and usually im not a fan of such a thing but in this scenario, segregation seems like a better fit for womens safety.
@Amanda84
@Creamyyy
That's tough but safety is Paramount 🩷
@Creamyyy
Oh what the brilliant thoghts, ma'am!
@MasonAloof
What are you doing on a dating app? Intentionally seeking for negativity? :} There is a lot, yes. Sorry.
Idk. Our cultures have negativity everywhere. You cant stop dating or any other aspect of your life.
@Creamyyy
What culture do you mean? All over our planet in thesse days or especially yours?
@Creamyyy
And yes, you cannot. But. On dating apps itere are some special very negative athmosphere specially for vulnerable people
Just in general I've experienced a lot of impropriety from educators/mentors/people in power who think flirting is acceptable or that I'm too stupid to understand boundaries being crossed.
Or that because I'm a woman out at night, I have no morals or standards and obviously looking for male sleazy company, even with me not paying them any attention, completely covered up, listening to loud music... It's quite sickening so it sucks that you experience that too.
Now I'm more vocal and will call them out on it. Yes my guard is up, but I have that dangerous look in my eyes, that says, Don't dare mess with me, you'll be sorry... 🤨😂
I get the dangerous look part , i do it too. 😀But it feels exhausting to me to live this way. Because even after a particular interaction, the after effects remain - ptsd starts cropping up naturally. Thanks for sharing your story and comforting thru relatability - although its truly disappointing that so many cultures may be affected by it.
@ScrabbleBrain
@Creamyyy just keep taking safety precautions, don't answer anything you don't want too, be as loud and clear as you feel like but at the same time, find the joy in things too..
Books, movies, art or whatever gives you that peaceful calm feeling back :)
@ScrabbleBrain
I'm the opposite, I wear what I want and I let them know, their opinion is highly irrelevant and I'm going to enjoy my night regardless 😂😂😂💙
@Amanda84 lol I've had my fun wearing scantily clad cute outfits but now it can be form fitting but layered.
I kinda want to dress my age now, not pretend I'm 20yrs old lol
But dressing is an individual thing. I dress for me and 2ant to feel comfy, yet smart, yet an easy bit different :)
You do you Mz Infinite Style 😍
@ScrabbleBrain
Absolutely, it doesn't bother me how any woman dresses, once she feels happy, beautiful and it's not any man dictating it 🥰
Yeah I really wish more people knew women dress for themselves - not to lure men, lol.
Its been a while I havent worn dresses. I hope I get to doing so again in a future not too far away.
@Creamyyy I don't know if it was last year or the year before I wore this skirt for the first time in years, tropical vibe, orange and yellows, blues and I didn't feel self conscious, maybe because I wasn't alone and there's a special femininity in pleasing yourself, my walk was different, I couldn't stop smiling.
It was in the daytime, so very safe and I felt great, got to look for some more, because I keep changing sizes
Wow... that doctor is unprofessional. Whether a patient is sexually active or a virgin isn't any of his business or anyone else's for that matter. His behavior is disgusting. He could have just asked rather than running his hands along your arms.
Are most unmarried men in their 30's also virgins? I've never understood why it's ok for one gender but not the other. It's not anyone's business except for the two people are in a relationship. That's such an odd thing for him to say.... I want to say that not all men are that way, just thinking about flings. But maybe a lot of them are? I think upbringing and culture do play a part. There's so much more to a relationship than just s*x.
Women should be treated with respect and dignity. Not ogled and told what to wear or be controlled. Women should be able to wear whatever they're comfortable wearing without anyone judging them, or making comments.
Women should be able to go out without fear. They shouldn't have to worry about having to look over their shoulder or that what they're wearing might cause some guy to act inappropriately.
I'm so sorry that so many of you have experienced this.
@mytwistedsoul
Thank you for understanding, we just want respect and kindness, and we are not men bashing , we know it's not all men, we just want to live our lives in whatever we see fit. Finally someone gets it 💚
@Amanda84 Of course 💜 Kindness is such an easy thing and it's not hard to have respect for others . You should definitely be able to live your life however you want. It's not anyone's business except your own.
@mytwistedsoul
Kindness is a very comlicated thing as well as respect.
@MasonAloof Respect is about acknowledging human worth and boundaries. Respect is how we treat people. It is about recognizing dignity and worth as a human and giving everyone the space to exist safely.
Kindness goes a step further. It requires active, deliberate effort, care, and a genuine desire to improve someone's well-being or make their day a little better.
I don't think it's complicated at all.
@mytwistedsoul
What you are writting aren't those complicated things to apply?
@MasonAloof
I think respect and kindness are simple 💙
@Amanda84
Personally with you i always agree!
Thanks for the supportive message. It means a lot.
Yeah ive been to dermatologists before. Sliding your hands over the arms to check the skins roughness is not a protocol. Even when people have skin infections doctors dont touch the patients skin like that. So it was absolute bs. And it enraged me. But what am I gona do - smack him in the face? I still have one session left of the treatment im doing and its recommended to stick to the same clinic but im no way tolerating this anymore. Im moving to a different clinic.
And the whole virginity talk was really manipulated. It was disgusting. The sh*tty man he was, he tried to cover it up. He started by asking me questions about my activities and when i said im on a marriage app these days he went on to say oh i know a lot about it. And then he said I can tell you things on the topic if you consent , because later you may say anything about me to others. And im like yes u can talk about it.
But what i consented to was a discussion on marriage culture on the apps.
His comments about my virginity and subtly leaning on a possible fling with him was a breach of boundaries.
He kept insisting that i visit him at the clinic. And im like what for? Hes like oh i will help u . With all these discussions you will grow.
He was just filth . My ptsd makes sense. Im calming now though.
This is the thing. This culture is full of sleaze. When they see a girl who appears modern they see it as an opportunity to take advantage.
And then they go home and stop their wives and daughters from meeting men in society because they know they are sleazeballs like themselves.
So they stifle women in their home by controlling freedoms and they stifle women in public through predation.
Honestly this culture is suffocating.
Im hearing from girls here how they are modifying their personalities to appear strict because politeness is understood as invitation.
Its just ewww all over.
@mytwistedsoul
@Creamyyy It would have been a well deserved smack in my opinion. I'm glad you've decided to go somewhere else because he sounds like a lech. His behavior is absolutely disgusting and then to insinuate a fling with him. That's wrong on so many levels. I can imagine that this isn't something new for him either. It's inexcusable. He shouldn't be working with people.