Struggling with stuff
Hey, so this is my first time doing a thread and one of the people I spoke to on this app told me to do a post about my situation. I'm really struggling with stuff right now. I think I might have BPD or something like that. my emotions get crazy intense and I get scared people will leave me. Like with my boyfriend, I get so upset when he cancels plans or when he does stuff that makes me feel ignored.
The other day, he said he didn't want to see me because he was too tired and it was hot, but then I found out he was out at the pub with his mates.
That really hurt because he knows I hate the pub. It made me feel like he doesn't care, and I ended up getting really distant and mad at him.
know I push him away sometimes because I'm scared, but I don't want to keep doing that. I'm trying to be honest with him and explain that sometimes when I 'split' or get overwhelmed, it's not about him. it's about how my brain reacts. I called him earlier to talk about it and explain to him how I feel but he kinda just shut down on me and went silent. I have other problems going on in
the background, like family problems, college and l've lost contact with all of my friends as l've been homeschooled for 2 years and l've been dealing with a lot of things.
Also, I feel like I literally can’t leave him. I’m obsessed. it’s like he’s stuck in my head and I can’t let go no matter how much it hurts. The thought of leaving makes me panic, like it would destroy me completely. I know it’s probably not healthy but I’m scared the pain would be worse if I walked away. I feel trapped between loving him and breaking myself.
It’s just so hard to deal with, and I don’t really know how to make it better. Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you manage it?
@veriouzx hey that's the one and only here haha! Yiu've done a great job I hope things will go better!
@veriouzx hey that's me again! My listener account Adams89 got suspended in the middle on our conversation for no reasons😭 Please understand if I can't text you for a while. You're a wonderful person and I sincerely hope you will have the strength to overcome all of this^^
You scared me I was so confused that I done something wrong
@veriouzx Well..... My account got banned again😭😭😭😭😭 Like idk man it's so strange. I can give you my link to one of my social media if you want. I really want to know if you're doing ok^^
Yeah of course!
@veriouzx answer to my listener message whenever possible ok?
@veriouzx
It seems like many people have gone through something similar but the reality is the overthinking and thinking it is always us is something people can work past. I find stepping back and looking as an onlooker helps.
Being able to deal with things upfront him being able to tell you hey going to pub for a bit... so the anger of finding out later is gone. If you are still not happy about pub you would talk with him about it openly and not give distance and mad routine. Maybe you can see a bit from the others perspective instead of avoiding the real conversation and following the same pattern that is not working now
When you say you lost touch with past friends did you try to text/ call connect or were you waiting for them to call or text you.... many people are alone waiting for the other person to call or worry they may be busy if you call etc. ... while that person may also be wondering why no one is calling or texting.
Convincing yourself you can not leave a situation or it would be so painful and awful. avoiding the unknown or Possible discomfort or pain you are missing out on part of life IMO
@veriouzx Please answer to my messages I want to know if I've done something wrong