2) Community Questions and Answers - The Basis of Mental Health Awareness and Support

@SoulfullyAButterfly

I wanted to work on this today, but the post seems to have vanished 🤔

@SoulfullyAButterfly

I can see how thinking not good enough for someone puts you down as it happens to the most of us at some point in one way or another. You are most certainly not alone. I was once told that we are all unique and we are not meant for everyone and that is ok. I hope that phrase helps you as it did me. We can talk about it more if you like?

Feeling as if you aren’t good enough for someone can stem from many things, including relationships (parents, partner, other friends/family members), social media, and having general low self esteem. Try not to beat yourself up for having these feelings, most people do at some point or another. The first step is to acknowledge how you’re feeling, and that these feelings, while characterized by self-doubt, are valid to have. Personally, I've not only known many people who have felt these feelings, but have also experienced them myself– you aren’t alone in it. It can be difficult to handle these feelings on your own, and reaching out for help is a big step towards healing your inner critic.

*all in bold are my keywords!*

@SoulfullyAButterfly 

Question: What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?
_Self-doubt is both beneficial and harmful. You can change everything just to understand the origin of the matter based on the information you have. The influences and injuries in the past make you always feel low in self-esteem, even if they were from parents, partner, or family members etc. You only allow yourself to have feelings of not being enough, no one can give you that feeling. Don’t do so much bad inner critic, you deserve self-love. If you have to receive too many things that are not enough from the outside, you will act and have better communication more easily when you understand what is allowed and not allowed. Your whole life needs to be around amazing people.

When I feel I am not good enough for someone, I usually quit being with the person. I do not tell the person how I feel, I just quit. I remember one time, my family tells me that people like to talk with someone who has a lot of knowledge, thinking. Do not be an empty water, people would not like being with one. Even though, I know my family have prejudice, I only hear half of what they mention. I realize I should talk with people who are there for me, but some people are not true with what they say, they just lie. It is painful!

During a panic attack, people use paper begs hello with hyperventilation. The person needs rebalance of carbon dioxide, because of breathing too quickly and not breathing deeply, it can lead to drop of carbon dioxide. However, this idea is not a good one, so, it is not recommended anymore. Now, the recommend thought is: 1) slow, deep breathing, 2) grounding techniques, mindfulness and body awareness and 3) professional support therapy like Cognitive behavior therapy. If one have panic attack, maybe talking to doctor would be an important thing to do, some medication might help. It is because people who has asthma cannot use paper bags, it is very dangerous for them.

What to do when you feel you are not good enough for someone?

When you feel you are not good enough for someone, the first step should be understanding why you feel this way. Reflect on responses and perceptions from family members, partners, and friends. Have they mentioned you wanting to do more? If not, it may be a situation of self-doubt.

Our inner critic can be the biggest bully in our lives, dwelling on core beliefs we learned in our childhood, or things we tell ourselves in response to traumatic life events. So, here are some suggestions:

• Eliminate negative self-talk. Replace statements like, "I'm a failure" with more balanced statements, such as "Sometimes I fail at things, and sometimes I'm successful."
• Ask someone if there is more than you can do. Open communication is key to a healthy relationship, and if you feel you are not providing enough, ask ONLY ONCE. Once you've asked once, remind yourself of the answer they provided.
• Consider talk therapy. Therapies like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) can help you regain self-confidence by understanding thinking traps which can lead us to spiral.

Hope this helps.

Okay. That's my answer to the question above.

As for how my keyword research went, I found it quite challenging, I think I was doing it incorrectly. I would search for the question itself in tools I found online instead of individual words, which I imagine would yield better results. So, I only used the keywords provided while adding jargon I learned from my own therapy experiences such as my CBT group.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

Lesson 2

Key Words: Low- Self-Esteem, Depression, Self-Destructive, External Validation, Perfectionism, Trauma, Abuse, Self-Worth, Unhealthy, Deny, Criticized, Society, Comparing, Anxiety, High Standards, Powerless, Bad Parenting, Upbringing, Unloved, Rejected, Imposter, Facade,

The one article I had read was "10 Reasons Why You Feel 'Not Good Enough.'"   

         A person who has an enormous amount of low self-esteem in this society is fueling their depression, their self-destructive ideas, and their behaviors. Low self-esteem has a variety of roots: perfectionism, critical parents, traumas, abuse, lack of opportunities, racial or cultural oppression, etc. Low self-worth is different from self-esteem. In self-worth, you often want external validation, but you find your approval is not very satisfying for one reason: you are putting yourself in an unhealthy and unfulfilling relationship. You start to deny, disapprove, and be criticized for your limited or weak points. One of the main reasons for feeling “not good enough” is because we live in a society where we constantly are comparing ourselves with one another. Perfectionism is an enormous issue in society because it fuels depression and anxiety, and that alone makes people not good enough. Nothing says it must be perfect. Trauma and abuse are related to self-worth, more notably in the past trauma due to them not being easily forgotten. “Powerless” is a natural reaction to the abuse. Abuse and trauma take time to heal and to deal with. We change this pattern to be a healthier way of looking at yourself. In these kinds of rules, it typically stems from a child wanting something or the parent not being tranquil without their approval. As a result of a child, the child will feel unloved, rejected, unwanted, and torn. Perfectionism is usually set at remarkably ambitious standards and has become very quickly self-critical in case of failures in the face of extremely elevated expectations. Some people will fear that people will find out that they are imposters and that they are fake and not as bright as people think they are. Understanding the imposter syndrome and knowing the signs or effects, it can be helpful to deal with this type of disease. When your body is overwhelmed by chronic stress, it's not a happy place to be. Chronic stress can affect many things, like health, relationships, daily living, your work, and your studies.

Depression and anxiety are two prevalent mental health problems. Negative self-talk is also common in depression, which can result in a feeling of inadequacy. When you are depressed, you feel that nothing will change and nothing positive will come out of it. You can’t criticize— Criticize yourself into a better person. Exactly when you make a mistake or mess up. Decreasing your chances when you start to be criticized yourself. Because if you work against yourself and you keep on repeating, this will be a type of self-talk. This is not a type that is helpful, and, in many cases, it is not true.

I feel that telling yourself you are not good for anything is a strong power statement. It feels like a harsh reality. I admit it. I have said it a few times because I thought my life was going nowhere and it wouldn’t change, but it did. I am in college and have graduated from two schools. My self-esteem was so low that I could be considered in danger. But I woke up and changed my life. I was tired of saying I was not good at it, and my depression was bad at one time. Therefore, if you give it a chance, set aside negative thoughts, and focus on positive self-talk, your life can indeed transform.

@SoulfullyAButterfly

feeling like you’re not good enough usually comes from self doubt and that inner critic in your head not from the actual truth try to notice those negative thoughts and remind yourself of your good qualities a bit of self love really helps if it’s about a partner parents or family talking to them might help if it feels okay communication can clear things up but even if you don’t talk your worth isn’t based on what someone else thinks therapy can help with building confidence and seeing yourself in a better way you’re a human being and you deserve to feel good about who you are

When it comes to feeling as if you are not good enough for someone, it's important to understand that we are our own biggest critics. There are things we pick on or despise about ourselves that other people would not give a second glance to. 

Even so, to deal with this, a bit of self reflection may help. Do you find that you talk to yourself in a negative manner? Is the little voice in your head critiquing every little thing about you? How do you perceive yourself? Our thoughts are a reflection of the way we treat ourselves, and for that reason, we should be kinder to ourselves. Engaging in habits to build self love and increase self esteem can completely reframe our feelings. 

If you struggle with helping yourself internally, reaching out externally may also be a different good first step. Communication with family, friends, or a therapist about these feelings may open up the floor for a deeper understanding of yourself and its relationship to how people actually perceive you.

Keywords: relationships, communication, self-esteem, confidence, family, friends, self-criticism, self-worth, inner voice, building confidence