Forgiveness & Self-Esteem
Forgiveness is the greatest gift you can give yourself -Maya Angelou
Forgiveness is often defined as a deliberate decision to release feelings of anger, resentment, and retribution to someone who may have harmed you. While it can be very difficult to forgive someone else, it can be even more challenging to forgive yourself. However, self-forgiveness can be extremely beneficial in healing and can feel extremely freeing.
Steps one can take to achieve self-forgiveness:
♡ Accept your situation. It can be helpful to accept who you are and where you are at this moment. Accept life as it is, not how it should be. ♡
♡ Understand what happened and why you are here. What caused you to make the choice(s) you did? What were you trying to meet, given the frame of reference you had at that time? Understanding your frame of reference can make it clear that you were simply doing your best you knew how to do at that time. ♡
♡ Learn from your experience. How did your experience shape you into the person you are today? What wisdom did you learn? You might not be able to go back and change the past, but now you have the opportunity to learn and grow for the future. ♡
♡ Forgive your past self. By saying I forgive you to yourself, you can begin to heal. ♡
Now finish these statements:
♡ Today I will forgive myself for ___
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel ___
♡ I deserve forgiveness because ___
Thank you so much for participating today in day twelve of our self-esteem challenge. Feel free to check out the other self-esteem posts here. We hope that our forum discussion and exercise have been a positive experience, and you are leaving feeling freer and relaxed. Have a lovely day! 
Sources: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202007/healing-shame-5-steps-self-forgiveness https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/mindful-anger/202006/healing-guilt-7-steps-self-forgiveness
@Tazzie
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for when I might not have been coping as well as I would have liked to.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel like I don't have to let the times I have struggled mean that I have failed because healing isn't linear.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I am human and to expect myself to be "perfect" is unrealistic.
@brightbubbles88
Hello hello hello! Coping can be a very difficult thing at times. Even if you try very hard, it can still be hard to cope. Yessss, I love this! "Healing is linear." I feel that is something that is so important to remember; there is no timeline to healing. You are indeed human, and sometimes society gives us the thought we need to be perfect, but I agree, that's unrealistic. Thank you so much for joining us! Have a lovely day ♡
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for not being productive like I thought I would be.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel liberated from guilt and less stress
♡ I deserve forgiveness because keeping the guilt or the stress isn't going to help me,instead I'll try again tomorrow and do better hopefully.
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou
Hi! I totally can relate to the stress and upset feelings of not being as productive as we would like to be. It is awesome to hear that you were able to forgive yourself for that, and now feel liberated. I absolutely love you determination to trying again tomorrow. I hope you are able to continue to forgive yourself, and achieve everything you want. Thank you so much for sharing! Have a wonderful day ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for believing that I should be fine single, beliving people who make no sense.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel less pain
♡ I deserve forgiveness because it is bad advice to shame people for wanting to be loved. To tell them to be thankful for all that they have and to not want something they do not have. Basicalky saying I should do without although, they themselves are married.
@RedEmerald I really relate to what you mean about being single! I am sorry others have shamed you for wanting to be loved.
@JaimieF
Thank you
@RedEmerald
Hey hey! I'm so sorry to hear that people have shamed you for wanting to be loved, that is something so many people want, and it's not a bad thing at all. It sounds like it would be so invalidating to hear people who are married telling you to just be grateful for what you have, and basically to be fine being single. I'm so glad that now that you have forgiven yourself you feel less pain. I hope you can continue to forgive yourself, feel no pain at all, and find the love that you want. Thank you for participating! Have a lovely day! ♡
@hopedreamlove
Thank you!
♡ Today I will forgive myself for forgetting to bring one of my school supplies to school.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel calmer, and more at peace.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I don't have to be perfect!
@Kassy7cups
Hi Kassy! Ooh, I definitely can relate to forgetting to being school supplies to school, the amount of times I have forgotten is crazy. I'm so glad you were able to forgive yourself, and now feel calmer and more at peace. On your hard days, I hope you are able to remember this: "I don't have to be perfect!" Thank you so much for participating! Have an awesome day! ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for having purchased objects that I don't really need.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel more focused and calm.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I try my best to balance my happiness and discipline. Mistakes happen, and that's okay.
@JaimieF
Hi Jaimie! To an extent I can understand the guilt and other emotions after buying objects we might not really need. It is wonderful to hear that you are now feeling more focused and calm after forgiving yourself. It can be difficult to find the balance between happiness and discipline, I wish you the best with that. Thank you so much for joining us! Have a lovely day! ♡
Today I will forgive myself for being to harsh with myself
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel free
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I am a good person deep down
@Dinoprincess12
Hihi Dino! I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling free after forgiving yourself. I hope that you can continue to forgive yourself in the future, and be kind to your wonderful self. Thank you so much for participating! Have any amazing day ♡
Today I will forgive myself for the failures of the past.
Now that I've forgiven myself I feel ready to make a fresh start.
I deserve forgiveness because I am a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars...
@FrozenGhost
Hello hello hello! It is wonderful to hear that you are ready for a fresh start now that you have forgiven yourself, I wish you the very best! Ahhh, I love both the poem you quoted, and the quote you shared! I don't think I have heard of that Maya Angelou quote before, it's absolutely amazing, and I totally agree. Thank you so much for joining us! Have a fantastic day! ♡
♡ Today I will forgive myself for taking the day for myself (among others) due to fatigue.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel a lot better about not having gotten much done.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I'm really trying and improvement takes time.
@FleetingBardSong
Hello! We all deserve a day to ourselves, especially when we are fatigued, but I do understand how taking time for yourself can lead to guilt or other strong emotions. I'm so glad that now that you have forgiven yourself, you are feeling a lot better. It's wonderful that you are trying, that's all that anyone can ever ask for. Improvement and growth definitely do take time, but that doesn't mean it's not happening. I hope you are able to continue to forgive yourself, and I also hope that you aren't feeling fatigued now. Thank you for participating! Have a lovely day ♡
@hopedreamlove
♡ Today I will forgive myself for isolating myself from all of my family and friends, including children since I got divorced.
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel emotional and struggling to accept the forgiveness.
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I isolated out of love to shelter everyone else from my misery. It wasn't meant to hurt or abandon anyone. My heart hurts and I am human.
@sensitiveTangerine178
Hello! I'm so sorry to hear about your divorce. I can only imagine how difficult that might of been. It makes sense that you might of isolated yourself because it might of felt like that would shelter your loved ones from the misery and pain you were in. It can be super hard to accept the forgiveness we have gave ourselves. I hope that one day, soon, you are able to reach the point where you can fully forgive yourself, and begin to heal, which is what you completely deserve. You are human. Sending lots of hugs your way. Thank you for joining us, take care ♡
@hopedreamlove
Today I will forgive myself for becoming annoyed
♡ Now that I have forgiven myself I feel better
♡ I deserve forgiveness because I am simply not perfect
@amiablePeace77
Hey hey! Becoming annoyed is an emotional I strongly relate to, and I can also relate to feeling bad about it later. It is great to hear that you have been able to forgive yourself, and are feeling better. That sounds like a very helpful thing to remember, you are simply not perfect, no one is, and that's more than okay. Thank you so much for sharing! Have a lovely day ♡