Depression Support Check-in: August 2nd-8th, 2021
So, let's do our check in for this week, shall we? ^^
1) How are doing?
2) Did something good or bad happened to you recently? Would you like to tell us about it?
3) Which of these do you think is important throughout someone's life? Past, present or future?
And that's all for our check -in this week. Thank you for being here with us. We appreciate your presence here and know that we care about all of you. Until next time, Take care and stay safe :)

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@kdsyahirah
1) How are doing? not so good. I have been repremanded for expressing what was on my mind, not directed at any person at all, in a discussion room. I have sat thriough so many discussion room of this one, where people have come in on purpose, been very arguemetive over every single thing brought up, to just cause problems, sat through so many of these same room discussions where just tons of the time was totally fosused one someone wanting to hide and others expressing back about hiding them, and on and on with this for so many endless times. There have been other people with such off the wall coments unrelated to a topic at all, that were so out in space that it was beyond belief. Things such as this and many more have been going on for so very long, with nothing ever being done about any of it. Then, today, I espressed an opinion of mine about a topic question and called it fake because it grouped all people together as one and not all people in that group (or any group) make it true. I was asked to leave the room, for that. After all the other things that have been going on for so very long, with nothing ever being done about any of it, I am asked to leave for expressing any opinion over a discussion topic that wasn't directed at anyone, caued anyone any harm, but just baically disagreed with the premise of the topic. Wow!!!!! After so much has gone on, some on purpose to create problem after problem of ever topic brought up, and other awful behavior, and I am asked to leave for an opinion of mine over a topic????? I have been supportive of many others so much, have never caused any problems ever, have been nice and respectul of others, etc. What next?????????? So, this tells me that nothing I do has amounted to anything ever, even though I have always been a good suportive person, that does not matter one bit, I have never disrespected or cut down anyone ever--that does not matter one bit. I express an opinion and this is what happenens?????????? The opinion that I expressed was that, "This is fake." I get banned for that?????????? You can be good for a long time, be supportive and kind to others, and get banned and asked to leave for having a difference of opinion over a discussion question????????? Yes, I was pmed and told how to say it "correctly," if a stiuation of this kind arose again. Now, I am told how to express my own opinion also. I appologized and said I would try to do better in the future and hoped that I could remember the correct way for it to be said. I said I was sorry and felt bad if I had hurt anyone feelings. But, being asked to leave for expresing an opion that did not damage anyone??????? Wow. Am I supposed to want to even go back to a situation like this ever again???????????? This has been my favorite pop-up room, I enjoy all those in it, and have been coming to it for white while, with no issues. If I do decide to go back, I believe I am just going to reply with things such as, it is best to not give my comment, or it is best that I do not say my opinion. That would be sufficent, and shoud not cause any problem for saying anything that could be taken wrong. If that is also wrong, then the group leader who told me to leave and never did a single thing to those constantly doing all they could to disrupt the room with horrible comments directed at the group leader and every subject matter they brought up and the tons of the hiding me carp and many people wroking to hide them on and on, with none to that addressed, should be addressed and those problems brought to light.
I am so sorry that you got hurt so badly. Social media is a forum where that kind of stuff happens even when you are trying to be kind, here as well as anywhere else. It is so easy for people to misunderstand things when they aren't face to face. I can understand your disappointment though.@Amelia2324
I’ve given up. In a treatment sense at least. After over a dozen years I’ve grown sick of the frustration and side effects. So now I’m taking the path of “if I live, I live. If I die, I die.” And I’m sticking to it. I haven’t felt any kind of relief in so long that the thought of death feels so comforting.
Death might feel comforting but you have no idea if it will be comforting. I know how tired and frustrated that you are. Keep telling those around you what you are saying here. Because this is anonymous, we cannot directly assist you. But there are others who can. @Server8462
If those around me listened to my pain then I wouldn’t have to post about it on an app.
That makes sense. What we need to donis find you some new sources of support both internal and external. Have you ever tried teletherapy? It might give you some practioners in your state that you haven't been in contact with yet. What kinds of things are you also trying personally? I mean physical things rather than mental ones. You can begin to turn around by the activities that you do.@Server8462
Just shut up, vase. There isn’t anything you can say to me. I’ve tried everything I can. Teletherapy still costs money that I don’t have.
You have not tried everything you can. Period. I will not be quiet because I don't want you to die. If you think no one else can help you then start helping yourself. It is obvious that is what you really want to do. Otherwise you wouldn't keep coming here. You still have a spark of hope. Find a way to use it.@Server8462
Hope and pain are the same spark. They are both inside you and you can use them to escape. This is not coming from someone who doesn't know or understand what you are going through. I have been there too.@Server8462
I think I've been worried about completing my final assignment the past couple days. I've been waking up before 6am two days in a row. Making my shift at work very tiring and sleepy. I finally woke up earlier today (awake again before 6am), and proofread and made some changes to my assignment and handed it in. So, as I wait for it to be graded (will take up to 3 days) and returned to me, it might still continue to affect my sleep. Hopefully my sleep will go back to normal after the finalization of the assignment and this would mean that I've completed my Certificate course! I might be too excited to fall asleep instead of waking up early!~
Not sleeping because you are excited about what you have accomplished is exciting on one level and frustrating on another, I am sure. Give yourself a chance to rest after it is all done and your sleep will probably get better. @Jaeteuk
Hi. I haven't been on in awhile, but I'm back. I've been doing worse lately. I've had to change my medication, so I'm in the middle of doing that. The whole world feels like it's getting worse and worse. I don't know how to handle it. I don't want to be alive to see how bad it gets. I feel like things really need to change but nobody with the power to change things actually cares enough to do it.
I'm getting to volunteer at a horse barn again though, and I'm enjoying that. I think it'll help me eventually.
It is so nice to see you back! I am glad that you are able to volunteer with horses. That will help. Watching the news right now won't. If you can, take a news break every other day. You will still catch almost everything that happens, but with days of calm in between it may not seem so bleak. @BlueBetta
Thanks. How are you doing?
Hanging in there. A little overwhelmed with tasks at the moment.@BlueBetta
Not so well, I have to fight for my life every single moment. I don't know anymore what I'm fighting for. I feel like a burden to the world. It would be better if I wasn't here. My life isn't important. Please let me go. I'm afraid to die but I'm afraid to live. I don't know how to get through any longer.
2) Did something good or bad happened to you recently? Would you like to tell us about it?
My parents were mad at me. I guess they want me to be perfect but I'm sorry, I'm not. It feels like I will always disappoint them.
3) Which of these do you think is important throughout someone's life? Past, present or future?
Present, it's the only thing that really exists. You're living in it. It's the only moment you can really do something.
I am so sorry that you are struggling so much. Do you have anyone who you can reach out to for assistance? This is a good first step. @RaspberryRafal
@bestVase7265 No, unfortunately not. Every person I try to speak to about it, says I should call the hotline. Nobody wants to talk about it.
Who exactly have you attempted to tell your story to?@RaspberryRafal
@bestVase7265 I've tried A LOT of online sites and chats and forums but there were only a few people out there who wanted to talk about it. Considering real life, I've told my friend about it, but it's very clear she doesn't want to talk about it.
Ok, reaching out online is great as a first step. However, it can be hard to gain real traction without someone nearby. Have you tried talking to your doctor? It isn't easy but it helps.@RaspberryRafal
@bestVase7265 No, I haven't, because when I want to see my doctor I have to tell my parents...
Email the doctor's office yourself and set up a fake appointment for something else. Then the doctor can ask to see you privately. Or you could try a school counselor. Get some other adults on your side.@RaspberryRafal
Not very well. I'm waiting to see if the food bank I go to is actually going to open on the 16th like the manager said. I'm also experiencing a bit of anxiety about the future and things that might go wrong.
Mostly about my health as my important doctor's appointment is coming in a few weeks, the one for the ultrasounds that I'm going to be so uncomfortable for. Also about my mother's health because she's becoming more and more tired as she does daily activities and needs to sleep several times a day.
I guess I'm also experiencing several moments of anxiety where I worry over what's going to happen in the future, or the consequences of simple actions that shouldn't lead to anything serious or bad but might...like telling my apartment manager that I've got a leak from my bathtub handle and tap and it's making all my caulking get moldy in there, making more stuff for me to clean up.
2) Did something good or bad happened to you recently? Would you like to tell us about it?
Something good that happened recently was I had told my apartment manager that during the pandemic I haven't been able to regularly afford the amount of bleach I need to keep cleaning the garbage cans and all the messes I find on the property or sidewalk caused by all the homeless people who walk onto our property to go to the bathroom in the back or throw trash everywhere. I asked if my supplies could be covered, and he came through this weekend by delivering two very large bottles of bleach and a brand new hose since my old one was full of holes I'd patched with a very tough tape.
3) Which of these do you think is important throughout someone's life? Past, present or future?
All of them. The past is where a person possibly learned skills or behaviors, both good and bad. The present is where a person makes choices to continue that behavior or enhance their skills, hopefully by gaining new skills that sustain themselves and improve their situation. The future is an unknown that could possibly by shaped by a person's responses during the present, but also is shaped by everything else around them whether its friends and family, work, or the economical/political climate.
I can totally understand why you are anxious. You have a bunch of things to handle. I think that what happened with your landlord when you asked for the bleach is a good solution. Keep telling others what you are experiencing and some will reply with kindness. Also remember that it all happens a step at a time rather than worrying about long term consequences. I know, easier said than done. Keep reminding yourself that you are doing the best that you can.@integrityblues
@bestVase7265
Thank you. I'll have to try and practice that.
You are doing a good job. @integrityblues
@kdsyahirah
Not doing good at all
Yes, sometimes have happened.
I hate myself more for the mistakes I have made with these things. I also hate myself for continuing to make stupid mistakes in life that I for sure should know bettter to do about and for other bad mistakes, know for sure who to listen to by now.
Life will go on for while I am here, as long as God wants me here.
We all make mistakes. What exactly has happened? Sometimes it helps to explain it. @Amelia2324
@bestVase7265
thanks Vase, but it is all too much to put down here. --appreciate you're concern.
1- ım really not fıne have been strugglıng wıth depressıon
2-ı've been havıng trouble wıth my famıly because they just want me to be grateful
3-ı thınk present and future
I am so sorry you are struggling. Depression makes it nearly impossible to be grateful. Remember that your brain has trouble thinking that way because of chemicals that shouldn't be there. @depressedpotatoe13
I've got a reply for my final assignment yesterday morning. Passed it with one attempt, and an E-Certificate will be issued in 2 business days! Excited, and working on updating my resume and writing a new cover letter over the weekend. After I handed in my assignment, my sleep was better. After receiving the email yesterday saying I've completed the Certificate program, this morning, I was awake before 7am again. Probably from the excitement. I was in a good mood all day at work yesterday, hopping around when no one's behind me.. lolz~
I am so, so excited for you. You really earned that certificate!@Jaeteuk
It took me longer than one subscription, had to extend it twice to finish it. Brushing up on my cover letter now. I just want to make sure that if I were to apply to China, if it has to be written in Chinese or have copies in both English and Chinese~
@bestVase7265
The only thing that matters is that you finished it. @Jaeteuk
1) How are doing? I am doing OK.
2) Did something good or bad happened to you recently? Would you like to tell us about it? We got the condo we wanted. It's really nice, three bedrooms, three baths, a living room, a nice kitchen, and a dining room.
3) Which of these do you think is important throughout someone's life? Past, present or future? I would have to say present, based on what I have been through.
A condo sounds awesome! Good luck on the move. @Offmytrack