Drowning
I am feeling nothing. For the past 6 months I have been moving from country to country because of war. I am now in Canada, a whole new continent. I have been struggling even before that but now I feel like everything is getting worse. I don’t do anything, just lay in bed and sleep or watch videos that I’m not even interested in. I am in high school, online school. I do my tests every week but I get an average grade, a B or a C. All because I can’t study, I don’t even try to. Everyday I tell myself how lazy I am. How my parents doing all of this just for a better future for me are gonna be disappointed. I’m afraid of death but at the same time I wouldn’t fight to live if someone tried to kill me. I am afraid because I will have to graduate soon and I don’t even know who I want to be. I dropped everything. I feel like a useless bag of meat. (TW) I self harm once a month when I can’t take the feeling of panic and my heart beating to fast at night. I do it near my stomach so that no one could see it.
@Planthuman
you shouldn't be ashamed of your thoughts and feelings. being a war refugee, your feelings are totally understandable and predicable. don't fight yourself or put yourself down. embrace yourself and be be kind and forgiving to yourself. but put a plan in place for each day to be better than the previous day. accomplish small things first and that'll give you satisfaction to try bigger things later.
write down 3 things you were unable to do before and try to do them. no deadline. when i was at my lowest over a year ago, i did it as per my therapist guidance and it took me a few weeks to do those but i was proud of my accomplishment, and sure enough, i got better in time.
if you're depressed a lot, you might need a medication to get you kick-started. talk to your folks. they will want to help you. they love you.
I am so sorry this has been happening to you. I understand that fear of being a disappointment but not wanting to do anything. It is ok to feel the way you are feeling. Yes, people are struggling all over the world. But you matter, too. I also know what it’s like to wait for the struggles to overcome the fear. We just need relief. We need someone, anyone, to be there for support.
There is nothing that you need to feel stupid about. Mental illness is not your fault. The trauma you have experienced in having to move isn't your fault either.
How are you doing now?@Planthuman
@Planthuman
Hi, I'm sending you strength and courage - dare yourself to excel now that you are free - opportunity is nearby. Be extra kind to yourself!~ It takes time to heal but you should enjoy the process! You are a survivor!!
Blessings, Day
I am sorry you had a therapist tell you that i am glad youre here everyone feels the way they do you are entitled to your feelings even thought you think you have/ had a decent life people are depressed for a variety of reasons doesnt matter what they are it definitely doesnt make yours any less important i read your post and i can relate to some of the things you said. I hope you find your way and that things get easier💜
How have you been doing? @Planthuman