What do you hate about yourself?
Depression is bizarre in how in alters the way we think. We may know logically that it is our depression making us think this way but knowing that doesn't invalidate it. So write down what exactly you hate about yourself, let it all out. Once you do look back at what you wrote. Hopefully documenting your thought process will make it easier to work through your issues. Plus we will all be here to help.
Not knowing what to do and putting my all into anything and just failing over and over again
Feeling emotional. And vulnerable. And hope that it doesn't effect my thought process and behavior.
I hate how I cannot control my emotions and anger, mostly. How I fail to take care of myself and get hurt again and again, even tho I hate it about me I still feel that I'm not worthy of other's compassion..how my uncontrollable actions make me suffer and I just let it through.
And there's still the matter of my appearance and how anti-social I am..
My speech problems
My lack of confidence in myself
knowing something is wrong.
dont want to fix it.
rather staying in a stucked situation than "fixing" it.
My face, My body, and how i get easily hurt by others. I hate that i naturally wear my heart on my sleeve.
My fat, how uch I trust people and how easily I feel hurt
I hate that I get so embarrassed over my own body. I think and fear so many irrational thoughts.
Physically, my height.
As a 5'4" male living in the US, it's not fun. Everything is built for bigger people. Good luck consistently finding clothes that fit right or even at all. More than once I've been forced to shop in the womens section just because none of the stores caried anything smaller than a large. Everything we do, we have to work twice as hard as everybody else, AND we have to do it with everybody laughing in our faces.
It's even worse when it comes to relationships, both romantic and platonic. Nobody takes you seriously, most people don't even acknowledge your existence or actively ignore you. Getting talked over (litterally) and drowned out in a conversation is just par for the course, and if you speak up, you're being rude or annoying. At best, you get patronized and treated like a child.
Forget about dating. You can deny it until kingdom come, but it's been my life since I was a teenager... Women don't even consider men under 5'7" to be HUMAN, let alone attractive unless you have a huge, extroverted personality or a giant bank account. Just saying hello to a girl gets "the look." Any other short men here will know what I'm talking about. That look of confusion and disgust that this horrible little troll has the audacity to speak to them. The really polite ones try to hide it, but most people don't.
Dealing with other men is no cakewalk either. To them, you're either a joke (not a "real man" ) or prey that needs to be destroyed. We represent weakness and deformity in their eyes.
And through all of this, we're not allowed to complain, be upset, or even call anyone out on their shitty behaviour. If we do, it's written off as "little man syndrome" and fans the flames of riddicule. Even more, nobody EVER comes to our defence. Short men are the one group that is still universally ok to mock, bully, slander and discriminate against. In fact it's actively encouraged.
Note, none of this counts for women. Short women are "cute", "adorable" and "funsized." When they get angry they're "fiesty." Women have a petite section to shop in, and if you need help reaching something, you get it. Short men just laughed at, or they get "help" immediatly followed by a game of keep-away.
