What do you hate about yourself?
Depression is bizarre in how in alters the way we think. We may know logically that it is our depression making us think this way but knowing that doesn't invalidate it. So write down what exactly you hate about yourself, let it all out. Once you do look back at what you wrote. Hopefully documenting your thought process will make it easier to work through your issues. Plus we will all be here to help.
Mainly I hate that when things go wrong in my life I always blame other people.... I just wish I could accept the blame could be mine. Maybe admitting it to myself could be the first step towards changing
@lazyKatz sometimes things are your fault. but you are never to blame for violent, abusive behavior, for stalking/harassment, for someone trying to vindictively humiliate you, etc. just have to put that out there. nothing you have done calls for that, no matter what people say. and a lot of traumatic things that happen don't have a blame -- they're just nobody's fault. people don't understand trauma, honestly. they're always so quick to look at people and think they know exactly how to handle a situation. it's rarely the case, and they don't want the guilt of having contributed to a serious mental health issue.
I hate that I told myself I'd never let someone hurt me again but I keep letting them and I still stay when they won't change but ask me to.
And the fact that I want to tell his mom or his brothers but I'm scared he will hurt me for doing so even if it may help. I'm walking on eggshells all over again but I've given too much to just get up and leave
@Kokorokiseki1377 you should NEVER feel like somebody is going to hurt you. please do reach out.
I hate that I don't love myself alone, and I rely on a partner to make me feel happy.
Ah, this is an easy question. I hate how whenever I rant, it takes so much space and I type so much, and it's probably pretty annoying to other people. I hate how I procrastinate a lot, and it takes a long time for me to get anything done. I hate how I'm really annoying to my friends, and so much that one of them says it directly to me. I hate how I'm not really good at supporting people - I just kind of say things like "oh that sucks, I really hope things get better" and that kind of thing, and I'm not really good at connecting to others. I hate how my friends don't seem to care much about me, and how they never seem to say "how are you" to me, and see how my day is going. I know that's really selfish, but I wish that I could get that from them. I hate how my friends never seem to notice when I'm not doing great mentally, I guess that's partially my own fault though, because I'm good at hiding my emotions, or maybe just because they don't care about me that much. I hate my terrible choice in friends. I do have a few good friends, but only one of them is really close to me. But many of my friends don't say the nicest things to me, but maybe that's also partially my own fault for having these qualities, or they're helping me by pointing out things that I can change, I don't know. I hate how I'm super sensitive, and that's why my rants are so long. I'm sensitive about whenever someone says something to me that isn't super nice - I don't cry about it then, but I just either bottle it in or go on some stupid rant somewhere. I hate how I feel like I need to be around people, even if these people are ones who don't treat me kindly, I'm an extrovert. I hate how I feel like I shouldn't be honest about my feelings towards some of my friends. I don't like what they do sometimes, but I rarely find the courage to actually tell them that I don't like something that they said or something that they did. And when I do, there's always a heated argument followed by not talking to each other, and when it's via online chats, one of us ends up blocking the other, so it's not good reasoning to stand up to friends again. I hate that I keep letting people back in my life after an argument that we never resolve, but when they start talking to me again, I just let them back into my life, and they hurt me again. I hate that I forgive easily, and it's so easy for people to walk back into my life after I've shut them out.
@Person12269
Hey there, I personally admire that you’re able to speak so openly. I hate that I cannot openly rant on my issues, I stuff them away, and what is said goes through many revisions first in my head. I suppose I am opposite to you in many ways. Because I hold back from speaking my mind, though I am not dishonest, many people will pour out their pain to me. I can respond with strong support and a smiling face, when I really desire to keep away from people. I have mastered masking my emotions. When others see me calm and content, I really may be boiling with rage from watching their foolishness. I admire you for the fact you can openly tell your friends your feelings, even if they don’t take it right or disrespect it. We’re the same in the way that we don’t have the right friends. I can never find truly supportive people. They don’t want to hear what is really going on. So, I cram it down for their convenience. I’m very sensitive and detest being weak. I don’t have the courage you have. I as well, let people walk all over me. They ditch me again and again, but I put up no fight when they come back. Because I know they come back when they have something to rant about. But I know they will never hear me if I speak, but I do not have the bravery to speak. I am the smiling laid back friend, that laughs loud and often. I will never say what is underneath.
@4343AKcolors
Thanks. Ah, I think I was kinda unclear about the ranting part - I don't rant about my feelings to my friends - I do it on places like 7 Cups, where people are kinder and more accepting. Sorry for the misunderstanding! I suppose we are similar in many aspects - easily forgiving, and hating ourselves for it.
Omigosh I am that friend too! I'm the one who seems outgoing, I laugh at a lot of things, and I'm pretty loud. It's nice to see someone on here that is a lot like me, and I wish you the best <3
@Person12269
I thank you. So, although we are strangers, allow me to extend my hand to you in this time. It’s my pleasure to make your acquaintance. I believe as long as we make our way slowly to be more vulnerable, that we may become stronger. Don’t be ashamed of ranting and taking up space. Throw your arms out even if it hits people in the face, LOL. And keep being real.
@4343AKcolors
Thank you. I can't express how much your reply means to me! Those are both really good life quotes, and I appreciate you taking the time to say these things to me. Haha yes, that's a pretty neat quote! And you too!
Have a great day <3
The list can go on and on about myself, but One thing I can think of is the way I live my life, past and now.
My alcholism is hurting my sole. its make me depressed. i have so much pain becuase of it
I hate how i want to be more open and try new things but when it comes to the action of doing that i flee. How i waste hours, days, weeks doing nothing remarkable and just existing. Hate the way i feel when i see old acquaintances of mine and think what have i been doing while they were accomplishing all those amazing things. Hate that i know everyone goes through hard times yet i still feel jealous of their smile.
Hate that i'm drowning in loneliness but i'm scared to bond with people; to give them the chance to make me feel bad, disappointed or embarrassed. Hate that i'm afraid they'll see what i see in the mirror. That i'm just wasting their time. That i don't know how to be a good friend, what to talk about. That i fail to comfort them and make them feel at ease when they need it. That i'm not good at neither showing affection or accepting it. That i can't handle kindness well but i'l also sensitive to any bad words. That i feel like i need to somehow please them but at the end i'm the one that's not satisfied.
That i feel this unbearable sadness and have this void that makes my heart physically hurt. That i want to feel better but i still listen to the same sad melodies and keep weeping. That i'm constantly in a battle with myself, questioning if i matter. That deep down there's a part of me that wants to hear that i do. That i feel pathetic for wanting that. That i know i'm being too harsh on myself but i don't know how to love myself. That i'm afraid if i do, i'll slack off even more and get worse.
@mushypotato
I tell myself often, how many have gone through so much worse than myself. And because of that I stuff away my agony. You do not need to be jealous of others’ smiles. Those who smile the widest are hurting the most inside. I am one of them, a hypocrite of that lifestyle. I often do not have the motivation or courage to make great accomplishments either. The goals I put the most effort in is covering up and fooling my group. I laugh loud and often, and I believe that life is only worth living if I am content in it. But my smile is fraud. Take your time, know what makes you happy, then set your efforts on accomplishing that.
Realism Doesn’t Motivate Dreamers(do what you love and keep trying).
I understand how it feels to be a loner. I am so used to people walking all over me, abandoning me, and using things against me. That is the fact I will always fall back on for my defense. The truth of my ideals and values never surface into words and actions. I detest that they will see my weak self that stares me back in the mirror. I know I am dishonest, yet I am loyal. I know how to phrase my words to comfort people, but I am entirely detached from them. I will stop and carry them, but when they leave, I am unphased. I will feel no remorse when I drop them. I show false, yet reassuring affection, and I have a shield against accepting it. The emptiness is my domain, I can hear my footsteps clicking against the cold floor of my heart. My physical body groans and aches head to toe from the misery. I want to know that I am of worth to someone. While at the same time I want to spit in my own foolish face.
The first step is to accept that we hurt. Now we need courage. To face it, open up about it. It is so very difficult, like climbing up a sheer cliff. But life is merciless. You’ll be kicked and battered by life. Don’t be ashamed anymore, we are strong, and shall become stronger. Than your smile will outshine everybody.
I hate how i know what I don't want to be like mentally and have the strength to stay away from it, but don't know what I am able to be like and have the strength to do it. I am just existing in this middle ground of not an addict anymore and in desperate need of psychiatric help, but at the same time, i'm nothing much good at all. I'm just a person working on improving her mental health. Big woop.
i hate when people "think" for me, and that anyone thought i wasn't open with them because i didn't want to get hurt -- but moreso that they thought they had the right to do something about that. i also hate when people try to psychoanalyze me and fail miserably
I hate how I'm never able to talk about how I'm feeling and when anyone asks I just say I'm fine. I hate how I push people away and I hate how I'm always feeling sad but then I feel guilty for being sad but then I tell myself that it's not my fault and it just makes me feel guiltier. I also hate how I'm not really a priority to anyone, I'm just like an option. I feel like my friends don't really wanna hang out with me and they don't enjoy my company they just tolerate me . I hate feeling like no one cares but then again no one has ever done anything to make me change my mind. I also hate that I'm so quiet and shy and I just keep everything to myself. I hate my personality but when I try to change it I never last and I go back to being the quiet girl who walks behind everyone. But whatever it's not like anyone cares anyway
@impartialBanana4748
I am alike to you in such a way. I am unable to voice my hurt and anger. Although I am strong and honest in my values. I am silent in opinions and emotions since they are always disregarded anyhow. I have been abandoned so many times I come to rely on it. I know that everyone around me, should it come down to it, they will leave me behind. “Oh, I am quite content.” It will always be my response. I detest myself for crying alone, and I claim that it cannot be helped and feel worse. But no one wants to hear, “Hm, oh yes, I’m about as happy as a drowned rat.” Now while, I am not the silent girl, I am often the one smiling the most, laughing the loudest. But I am the loner in my head. I outstretch my hand, I cannot help it. I listen to the pain of every soul, and they walk all over me. To those who do not care about you or myself. I care. Tears Never Fall In Vain.
