I had a bad dream😰
Tw) bad dreams and fear. Dreams can seem so real sometimes, it's scary. Especially when their like flashbacks of the past come back to haunt you😞 life is not kind sometimes, and I realised something today. I'm not free yet, I'm not safe yet, and I never will be. The bad people are not gonna just forget about me, if I make one wrong move it could be the end for me. I've seen how they do that, and I'm terrified they will find me. I think it's time to hide under my blanket and cry alot.
@Tinywhisper11 Dreams do have a way of reminding us of things like this. From what I remember there are a lot of things in place to help keep you safe? I know that doesn't help with the fear you feel right now. Can you think of something that might add to helping you feel safe? Maybe a safety defense class? There are classes for people in wheelchairs. Maybe where you stay could set something up? It could even be helpful with the other people there :)
@mytwistedsoul I'm just gonna hide under my blanket and never come out, I don't feel good. I don't like feeling like this. It's just all to hard
@Tinywhisper11 *sits with you* It's ok to hide under the covers especially if it helps you feel safe. Would it help to talk to someone about your night mare? A trusted listener maybe? You're always welcome to share in the forums too but I know sometimes we need and want some privacy. I bet they take very good care of you where you are but has anyone given you a safe place to talk? A counselor or a therapist? I've found it helpful in some ways with the trauma I have
You have such spirit. You're such a sweet lovable person Tiny. Think of all the things you would miss if you gave up. And your son would want you to fight I'm sure. He loves you so much and knows how strong you are. He wouldn't want you to give up. Every day that you're here with us gives honor to his memory <3
@mytwistedsoul thanks soul ❤ normally when I feel like that it helps to whine a bit either here or in the group chats, then be alone to just cry it out. It's a new day, so gonna start with coffee and smiles ❤ I love you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 *offers safe gentle hugs* You're welcome ❤️ It's good that you let it out 😊
@Tinywhisper11 how do I make the feeling of wanting to give up, go away??😞
@Tinywhisper11 hugs you. It must be very hard for you and we are here for you, praying for your safety 🌻 here, have some ice cream 🍦🍦🍦🍦🍦
@sadcat13 hugs you back ❤ well you know exactly how to make me smile🙂 yaaaay icecream 😋 thankyou ❤
@Tinywhisper11
Hey... sorry you're having to deal with dreams like that. I'm here too, if you want to talk about it.
You know, a lot of times I feel like nothing is worth saving, or that it's too late anyway. You prove all of that wrong. I don't think I've ever met someone who seems as alive as you. I know that some times might feel less hopeful than others, but you're worth saving, you're worth the best, and you deserve the best. I think that your rescuers will do everything they can to keep you safe. And I'm definitely not the knight in shining armor type, but I'd do the same for you if I could.
Anyway, the past doesn't deserve this power over you. And the ones you're having nightmares about dont deserve power over anything or anyone. Every time you laugh or smile, you're proving them wrong on an infinite level, and sticking it to them. So I hope you're able to enjoy more and more the longer they can't hurt you anymore.
@Torean 🙂❤ your so sweet ❤(and strange😁) but mostly sweet😍 thanks for your kind words. I don't like feeling scared and depressed. But I cried it out and I'm feeling a bit better now ❤❤ I love you
@Tinywhisper11
No problem. 😊❤️ It's good to hear that from you, given you know just how strange I am. 😁 I love you too, always. ❤️
@Tinywhisper11 I can understand how the dreams are haunting you, sometimes I get dreams based on my past too. Though I know they won't be as bad as you are having, I can relate to you. I just want you to know that you're not alone Lola, many people are here to both suffer with you and support you. Its understandable that you feel like giving up because you can't keep up with the feeling of fear anymore, but hey you're so strong, you're the local hero, you saved a goldfish from drowning remember? You've come so far and you can still keep on going!!
* Instead of crying in your blanket, come under my blanket, let's watch a movie together without anyone noticing 🤫.
@Blahblah1805 climbs in your blanket ❤❤ I'm pretty sure our dreams are just as scary as each others, and that's true I am a local hero😁 I love you ❤❤ thanks sweetie ❤
@Tinywhisper11
*hugs you tightly* its gonna be okay. I love you more❤
@Tinywhisper11
*sits with lola friend if okay and sends vvv big and vvv warm comfy hugs* 💜 love you friend 💜 how are you feeling today? 💜
@LoveMyMoonflowers I'm doing ok ❤ or at least trying to be ❤❤ gives you a hug back ❤ and eyes up that pretty bag in the corner of your room😂😂
@Tinywhisper11
*hugs lola beanie vvv tight and doesn’t let go* 💜 me loves you so much friend. lola beanie is not alone 💜 we’re here for her, to sit with her and listen 💜 to offer hugs and to offer ice cream 🍦
eeeeee nuuu that’s my bag lol, don’t look at that 👀😂
@LoveMyMoonflowers noms icecream 😋 gives you a hug back, whilst stealing the bag from behind you ❤😁❤
@Tinywhisper11
can i have some ice cream too? 🥺 just a teensy weensy bit hehe 💜 also that’s okay you can have the bag 😂 now i wonder what your gonna do with it 🤣
@Tinywhisper11 I don't like putting on people, especially cause my past isn't something anyone wants to hear about. That's why I don't do 1-1 chats much, that and because of bullying. But I think I need to vent a bit, but not sure how exactly. Only sometimes you just need to cry and get it all out
@Tinywhisper11
awwe nuu friend your not putting anything on anyone or dumping anything on anyone… 🥺💜 me understand 1 on 1 chats aren’t always vv comfy and that’s okay if you don’t do those much 💜 it’s not fun and it’s not right when people bully in cups 😞 especially when listeners bully us ☹️ in PMs. me vvv sorry lola bean experienced that 😞 you deserve to feel safe and you deserve a safe space to talk about things friend 💜 a space with no bullying. 💜
we do want to listen to you here in forum-land 💜 you have many buddies here to love you to bits, who love you so so so much and want to be there for you - the same way you’ve been there for them too. 🥺💜 we love lola beanie and care about her, we will never see her as a burden. 💜 i think talking about things can help a bit 💜 even when we don’t know how to talk or how to explain exactly - that’s okie. 💜
*keeps hugging lola beanie* it’s okay to cry friend 💜
who love you to bits* not to love you to bits, i can spell i think
@LoveMyMoonflowers yeah I guess so. It's just hard
@Tinywhisper11
it is vvv hard. 😞💜
@Tinywhisper11
*sits with teenie and ni*🪑🤍
@LoveMyMoonflowers
me 1000% agrees with ni buddy 🥺🩷but can’t write anything because I have to go sit with guests :´3 we love you teenie >: you’re never putting anything on us- but sunshine and love of course :P☀️🩷 you don’t have to be this positive stereotype all the time :´3 you can always vent/reach out too🩷we want to be here for you the same way you’re here for all of us and it’s never ever a burden🤍
i actually need to go sit with guests now :´3 I’m sorry I couldn’t say anything else >: not much time-take care-please💜
@iloveyouxx
no worries nadia friend 💜 we appreciate you being here 💜 love you friend 💜 it’s okay
@iloveyouxx thanks sweetie ❤❤ have fun with your guests ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11 aww tiny im so sorry im here for you and sending you lots of huggs
@limegreenKiwi7397 hugs you back ❤❤ thanks sweetie ❤❤
@Tinywhisper11
Lola,
I understand fear, it ruled my life for decades. It influenced every decision I made. Not all good ones to be sure. Your fear is a reasonable response considering what you've experienced. Your doing a great job reaching out to the trusted people in your circle. So many people and friends and care givers are on your team we all want to protect you from the bad people. Just hold on to the good people and it will help you get a hold of the fear. You are loved !! You are cared for! You are so strong! You will get through this bump just keep reaching out for the people who care about you for support.
Safe hugs for you 💞🤗my friend !
Keep drawing and painting it's the best therapy ever! 🖌️🎨
ABB 💜
@amiableBlackberry92 thanks ABB ❤❤ I'm trying my best ❤ I really am ❤and yep still painting 😁❤ hugs you tightly ❤
I'm so sorry. All the time I have ptsd nightmares and these people are still around and i can feel a fraction of what you feel. You are not alone. The sun will rise. There's hope. I wake up paniced but do my morning routine - bathroom, waah face, drink water, check this app and distract myself until im calm enough to do what i can do. Hugs
@intellectualGrapefruit6085 oh no! I am away from the bad people, and being protected, it's just if they find me then. Well I've seen what they do to people their never gonna give up😞
but yes ptsd is so hard, I'm sorry your struggling to😞 but your right gotta keep going, gotta keep hope and faith alive ❤❤I will not give up ❤
@Tinywhisper11 and thankyou ❤