One thing I am feeling sad about today is....{share here}

i don

I'm sad because I am.

It's all.

My mother breaks my will to live. She tells me i will have a sad and lonely life often. I have noone i can call up late at night. Noone talks about these reasons for sadness. I would gladly take a bullet or a disease instead of this invisible knife going at me every day. Atleast people understand those reasons.

School is killing me

I invited someone into my home and they disrepected me.

My boyfriend and I got into an argument tonight and it really put me down.

I feel alone and hopeless but I don't know how to ask for help. I don't know how to put my emotions into words. My brain is just a mess.

Woke at 6.11am.. in work tonight & cant shake feeling that im constantly a pain in the arse to my partner that he said last night i need to seek help or talk to someone.. think he believes im crazy.. am i though? Ive not been the best in my relationship i have made things harder than what they are but i do love my other half dearly.. i appreciate all of what he does and the person he is.. he has said alot of hurtful things to me and i have no confidence in person i am with looks or just in general.. im confident that im in a relationship & i only have eyes for that person.. no one else compares because im constantly finding ways to always love my other half.. i dont give up as im old fashioned in the way of loving one forever til end.. my partner seems narcissistic at times.. bit bipolar in how he changes.. he can be controlling in what he demands to be said or done otherwise im lazy or i dont do enough.. i dont have a social life i work.. go home to kids then get on with housework chores etc.. grab kids sort them out.. sort his things out then im passing out due to no sleep from a night shift.. my days are like this yet all i want is for my partner to look forward to coming home.. cuddling & seeing me.. he goes straight on computer or discusses someones life at work that doesnt seem like something i wana hear.. he looked forward to being home now he doesnt.. hes changed since working in current job.. ive not been easy with things far from stretch of imagination but i have been faithful and always continue to be.. just want some resemblance to how i can better myself for my man and understand and listen and not get wound up over silly things.. but i feel like i see same 4 walls and trapped in myself that i dont know.. its hard to see the forest through the trees

My ptsd keep acting up. I cannot stop thinking of my ex. We broke up in Sept 2015, but I was with him the last 6 weeks of his life Dec 2016 to Jan 2017. I feel it's been impossible to findo anyone who got me like he did.

One things I'm feeling sad about today is alone, again and again.....1000X alone.