What is the thing that depression effects the most in your life?

I hate most that it lays around your brain like slime and does not let you think a single thought through properly. I cannot do the things that I love when it comes that far; I cannot read, I cannot learn, I cannot write. It's like hell and I hate it. The worst is that I know that I'll have to live with this my entire life, and I don't know when it strikes back and how strong. I have found some tricks too keep the light forms at bay for a while (witha high amount of energy needed), but whenthe heavy ones come I can only lay down and try not to choose the easiest solution.

But I hope that there is a strategy for this, too, and that I will learn just how to endure it until it gets better. It is a sickness after all, so I can declare it my enemy. Sometimes I think: depression, I will tear you to pieces, and I will survive you, although nobody sees how I fight. But I will endure, because I am strong - and I think all those who have survived that far are incredibly strong.

Also, dogs help! :))

Motivation more than anything - the idea that nothing has a point to it anymore

I push people that care away to make room for those who dont. I neglect self-care to the point where washing my hair is a foreign act and leaving my bed feels like i have a ball and chain. The ability to feel joy from things that make me happy is completely gone. I become numb.

Your physical and emotional stability

I hate how depression effects my ability to think rationally about anything. I never know how I

I hate how my depression distances myself from others

i hate how depression affects the way i feel and think and how i feel about myself

My relationships. The most immediate negative effecting relationship is the one with my boyfriend bc hes one of the only people that know in detail what Im going through. Other than that, friendships are up and down. Depends on the person, and family relationship is mostly made up of lies bc I cant tell my family. And my school relationship is actually not so bad. Im doing really well but because I dont want my professors to see me and struggling but it takes a huge toll on my body to be faking it all the time, and taking 19 credits is a lot but Ive just got to finish school.

College. I'm only in 3 days and I've already missed two of them. Wtf is wrong with me?

My ability to socialise. I just become this complete introverted mess even though i used to party every day with a tonne of friends and my ex. People change and friendships change and that has taken such a big toll on me that i can't seem to get out of this hole. Everyone seems so happy without me in their life however i am the complete opposite. I get emotionally attached and i can't function.