A simple question - But so important - "How are you?" 💙💛
I hope you are all well!
Depression often feeds us the idea that we are often misunderstood, that noone cares, that noones willing to help.
Its soooo important to remember that you are never truly alone, even if it feels that way, there is *always* someone out there who wants to help and that you can reach out too.
So, for those who havent been asked recently, or if you feel like you have noone to talk too.
"How are you?" Be honest, how are things right now? We're here for you, feel free to use this space to vent (:
lots of love
Mol xoxo 💛💙
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@MollyT
molly molly molly, thank you for another thoughtful forum post. depression can definitely make us forget that people care and want to know how we're doing, so thank you for acknowledging this and helping everyone in the community to realise that we're here for each other! to answer your question :
How are you?
honestly, things are up and down as always. school and other things do make life pretty stressful, but i'm really happy that i have the things that make me happy (like cups) to help me through everything. i'll always be grateful for everyone on here < 3
once again, thank you so much for this post - you are so so amazing. how are you?
Thank you for commenting and for being so openly honest Amazing S (:
I'm sorry that things are so up and down at the moment. 🙁 I'm so proud that you're still finding the mental and emotional strength to continue supporting those on here when you arent feeling so great yourself. That is truly admirable! I'm glad you have some things that provide some emotional comfort for you! Cups is wonderful, and full of such an amazing group of supportive people (: Thank you for being here. And personally thank *you* for all the support you have given me!
And to answer your question - I'm alright thank you! 😛 Just like always (:
i'll be as honest as I can be while answering your question - I am not okay, I am missing my guy so much that I can't express it in words. We both are restricted from traveling to each other in our respective countries. It was his birthday a week ago and we had decided that we'd celebrate it together but unfortunately we couldn't due to the lockdown and the pandemic situation. I have never missed him so badly. If we get to meet before the new year, we would be meeting after two years. Anyway, how are you?
Thank you for this wonderful post.
Thank you so much for your amazing contribution! You're so right people hide behind I am fine for many reason, such as not wanting to burden others or maybe that they've been left feeling unsupported the last time they shared so they dont really see the point anymore.
But yes regardless of the answer its always a wonderful idea to check on people and ask "how are things, how are you?" it could make a huge difference to them
I'm so sorry that things are terrible right now.. Being unable to see someone you care about so much is heartbreaking, I know its not the same, but I hope you at least get to talk or communicate in other ways. But I hope you get to see him real soon and have that amazing hug that you deserve.
And I'm alright thank you so much for asking! 🥰💙💛
@MollyT
It gets toughest as time passes by because we planned so many things together. You are right about communication but since we are in different time zone and we both are working, it is difficult to stay in touch. Nevertheless, we are doing our best.
I believe the day we meet will be the best of all the other planned days. ❤
Thank you so much for your response.
Love,
-Angel
So sorry to hear that your boyfriend continues to be so far away. That is a great deal to have to manage for so long. But it sounds like you are doing your best to keep things special. The virus will be more manageable eventually. Promise. @lyricalAngel70
@bestVase7265
Thank you, dear Vase. He's my fiancee. ❤
Yes, it is a real struggle especially when you can't even catch up with them over phone/video calls due to the different time-zone. The only way we are connected through each other is by texting and voice notes on WhatsApp. We don't get to chat live but we do reply to each other whenever we get time. Hearing his voice makes my day. You could say that I am living on his voice notes. Hahaha! 😅
How are you doing?
Living on voice notes...it sounds like a song. You are going to make it slowly but surely. I am going through a bit of a rough spot myself as I am being hit with tons of responsibilities. My parents are older and aren't doing very well. COVID means that their other medical concerns (like a partially broken hip) aren't getting the attention that they need. It will be so nice when the virus fades once again for all of us. @lyricalAngel70
@bestVase7265
Thank you so much for your kindness. ❤
I am extremely sorry to hear that you're bombarded with so many responsibilities all at once. Having to manage many things altogether can be so exhausting and also frustrating especially when we're still dealing with the pandemic. Yet, taking rest in between is crucial to avoid burnout. I'm pretty much sure you will get through this soon and very well. I wish it gets easier for your parents and they get proper care and attention as they deserve it. Please do take very good care of yourself too. ❤
Thanks so much. We are all works in progress on a daily basis.@lyricalAngel70
@bestVase7265
Yes, I agree
Fight for your love ❤️ I was not able to save my relationship
@MollyT I am not that much okay, I am nervous for my upcoming karate tournament and I think I should take a days break from 7cups❤😔
@softfaith2004
Im sorry that you aren’t feeling so good right now 🙁 *hugs*
taking breaks from cups is always a great way to focus on the things that matter most I hope your break helps!
And asking as you give it your best I’m sure you’ll do great in your karate tournament! Good luck and let us know how you did (:
@SoftFaith2004
Wishing you the best for your tournament. Sending positive energy your way! 💙
I hope that your karate goes well!
@SoftFaith2004
hello. i'm not great, tired and sad and dysphoric right now as always, but i'm getting better each day. thanks for this :)
@blueberrywaffles
*hugs* for not feeling so great right now. Remember we are all here for you (: I’m so happy to you are getting better day by day though that shows you’re fighting through the worst times and I’m sure they’ll end soon 💙💛
Sending peace and strength. @blueberrywaffles
How am I? I am doing okay tbh thanks for asking :) I just started fall semester of school again so it is tough getting back into school mode. I’ve been trying to not procrastinate but it’s a little difficult. However, being in school does keep my mind busy so I am greatful for that.
@Capricorncom
Really happy to hear you're doing okay capricorn! I've just started back to school too so I can relate to being busier than usual smh lol
wishing you continued happiness and good luck with school!
School can be really hard at the beginning of the semester when you look down at the workload ahead. It makes lots of people procrastinate. Doing a little bit each day helps you to feel better. @Capricorncom
@Molly T
This is indeed a very important and needed question in its true sense when someone really wants to hear us...
I am doing terrible, I have both PTSD and depression so getting a lot of symptoms and everything is triggering...so crying a lot, blaming myself for what happened, feeling I will always be weak, I am weak, somehow managing to do my grad studies though...there is actually a lot of self hatred going on and anger on others too...
The key phrase in there was "managing to get through grad studies though". I know how tough that is. You actually aren't weak at all because you are perservering through severe pain. Give yourself credit for what you are accomplishing. @energeticThinker3129
@bestVase7265
Thank you Vase, your words really mean a lot to me <3
I am literally saying that because I have been in your shoes. You are going to find a path through. What kinds of things do you do to care for yourself?@energeticThinker3129
@bestVase7265
Hello Vase, so at a personal level to be very honest I am just crying, getting angry at bad people, mourning, I'm trying not to suppress these, I have to face my triggers daily and symptoms daily so it gets overwhelming everyday, some days I feel maybe medication help me...currently just therapy and doing basic relaxation exercises, keeping myself involved in my studies, writing in gratitude journal daily but not feeling what I am writing, trying to be around people...I have so much self hatred at the moment so these are the only things I am doing
Have you tried any walking or getting outside? Sometimes that can break the cycle just a bit. @energeticThinker3129
@bestVase7265
Thank you for suggesting ❤
@MollyT
Thanks for asking!
I’ve been struggling tremendously with my depression, PTSD, self harm, and these ideations. I’m broken, sad, empty, lonely, hurt, upset, depressed, wary, and a bit suicidal. It feels like I’m fighting a fight I know I can’t win! Part of me would just like to give up, but deep down I know I can’t.
How are you doing?
That deepest part is really key - knowing that you can't give up. All of the stuff that you are struggling with is really, really hard. I have been there too. Beginning to heal was a long process, but it has happened. For me it began with things that I was doing rather than worrying about what I was thinking. Things that required me to focus on other stuff - cooking, coloring, doing puzzles, walking. What kinds of things are you doing?@fairmindedFriend3493
@bestVase7265
I try to do some mindfulness, distractions, distress tolerance, journaling, going for walks, playing music (piano and/or the guitar), take pictures; however, those things has not been working for me. Things are so intense, I feel like I’m at my breaking point. Don’t know how much more I can take.
Keep up with the activities and try to do them on a regular, daily schedule. I know that it doesn't feel like you are getting much relief at all, but start looking for those 15 minutes where things are more okay than normal. They are really hard to spot because they seem meaningless drops in the depression pool. But once you focus on them it can really help. Realize that they are there and recognize them. Retraining your brain takes lots of effort but you can do it. You are further along on the journey to healing than you realize. @fairmindedFriend3493
@bestVase7265
Thanks!
@fairmindedFriend3493
I'm so sorry to hear that you are struggling friend.. You're an inspiration that you continue to fight though! you should be very proud of yourself. Never give up, storms dont last forever you can do this. We're here for you.
I'm alright thank you so much for asking! 💙💛
@MollyT
Thanks!
@MollyT, this is so true. It's a simple question, and people with depression we often choose how we answer it depending on who asked it.
I know that for myself, if I went to work, and my colleagues ask how I am, or how my weekend went, the default answer is always "okay" or "fine".
I find that I can only be honest about my feelings when I'm not talking to people directly (like here on 7Cups, and with online friends). With that being said, to answer "How are you" question:
My mood has been like a rollercoaster ride. In one day, I can wake up feeling excited, throughout the day saddened and stressed, end of the day, lying in bed, I could feel relieved or have a heavy heart. As much as I don't want to admit it, I know that my feelings are easily influenced by what people say. Whether that be from family or from the friends I interact with online, the things they say, how it's worded, affects my emotions greatly. So, in the past week, I've had a mixture of different emotions, and I'm starting to feel a bit drained. To have weekly deadlines of assignments for the courses I'm taking, is also not really helping with the stress and moods. There's definitely different feelings all thrown at me at once. Schooling, I get by it because I'm motivated, I have a goal I want to reach. This semester, I chose a subject that I'm interested in (Psychology for both courses). It is a lot of reading though and both have weekly deadlines for assignments, readings, and activities. As much as I enjoy learning more in-depth on top of what I already know, it does get slightly overwhelming. It seems like midterms are just around the corner too. So, already a bit worried about that as well. But I will take it day-by-day, study when I have "extra" time from all these readings and assignments.
How am I? I feel like I'm a scattered puzzle, slowly being pieced back together. With times where it may be forced into a spot, but after some trial-and-error, it will eventually find its rightful place. Hopefully, at the end, the picture will be complete~
@MollyT
Yes i agree, how are you doing is probably one of the most important questions in the whole world.
Its often so misjudged 😔