Do you ever get angry at yourself for being depressed?

@chellexlouise

I can imagine a sense of frustration could be common with many illnesses, for what it robs you of. But remember, depression is an illness, just as cancer is for example. Would you feel angry with yourself for having a physical illness? I do hope not, as many of these things are out of our hands, and it's just the same with mental illness. You're not to blame for being depressed, and your not useless for it. I wonder if you can adapt your life to find new interests, or maybe gently return to the old things you loved to do? But try to do that free of guilt. Being ill is not your fault.

@chellexlouise I feel that way a lot of the time. I feel like I've wasted so much time because of my anxiety and depression stealing all of my motivation. I went to school for writing but have hardly written a thing since I graduated college four years ago. I still don't have a job and I'm not sure where to start at this point.

I try to remind myself that I'm still young and have plenty of time to do something with my life. I just need to stop being worried about the time that's passed and focus on what I can do now.

I know that things can get better, so don't lose hope, and try not to be too hard on yourself. <3

@chellexlouise Yes I do feel angry and frustrated for having depression though it's not under my control. This anger makes me feel more lost and helpless. I don't like feeling this way.

Sorry to hear that you are feeling angry with yourself. What you describe is quite common for people suffering with depression for a number of reasons. The first is that it is a symptom of the depression have a lot of negative self-talk (picture the mean bully sitting on your shoulder whispering things into your ear kind of thing) and so it doesn't surprise me that your bully is picking on you for not getting help until now. The second reason (and this is my personal clinical impression after working with people with depression for over a decade) is that depression is often anger turned inwards. Most people are not very good at expressing anger directly as it happens. Instead they stuff in down and it seeps out as road rage or self-harm or many other ways including depression.

So, yes it is common and also you can totally work on that and improve it. :)

@chellexlouise More often than I should. I feel like I don't deserve to be depressed. There are way more people out there in worse situations, but at the same time, there is a scientific explaination for depression and the feelings are unexplainable. It is valid and it's okay.

@chellexlouise

I can relate to this. All the negative thoughts that go thought my brain and all the self hatred make me feel really angry with myself sometimes. Also because I think I don't have the right to be feeling this way.

@chellexlouise

I did get angry at myself for being depressed.

Some of the feelings I went through when I was in depressed.

1. I wanted to eat, but could not.

2. I wanted to sleep, but could not.

3. I wanted to be understood, but I felt I never was.

4. I wanted to smile, but could not.

5. I wanted to convey my feelings/thoughts to my loved ones, but could not.

6. I wanted to be happy, but I was not.

7. I wanted to love, but could not.

8. I wanted to commit suicide, but could not.

@chellexlouise

Yes. All the time. It doesn't have to be rational; your feelings are completely valid. I struggle with anger on the down days, as well as the up days, because I feel so silly and ridiculous.