I am feeling a little sad this holiday season because......
Because I generally feel shitty lately
Lost my girl
Because I'm not on good terms with most of my family
Because I have to hide my sexual orientation from certain family members out of fear of being disowned
Because this will be the third Christmas without my father
I am sad this Christmas because I am sick and did not get a cure for my neurological disease.
My family doesnt celebrate Christmas. We never get to have the lights and the tree and the family dinner. Its always bitterness and coldness.
They think of the holidays as something religious and always get so mad at me when I suggest celebrating it. All I really want is to actually feel like I have a family. Not just a mother and a sister. I cant help but think about my future and whether or not I want to keep them in my life as much. Ive always had trouble with my mom and sister and the holidays just make me straight up sad because of that.
It makes me kinda jealous to hear about my friends. How they decorated their trees and made dinner together. To my family all they see is the gifts and they find it a stupid thing. I cant help but get so mad at them and their stubborn views.
@forcefulDime8382 I can relate to that. We don't celebrate Christmas at my house for religious reasons. I actually never really minded that. But my boyfriend and I ended up breaking up over religious differences after he met my family, and the holidays are just a reminder that no matter what, I'll never really fit in
@honestTortoise7644 maybe that
@forcefulDime8382 the same thing happens in my family. I want to celebrate with trees, lights, gifts and music. But my family treats it very religiously with only prayer meetings which I don't attend because I am not religious... Holidays are hell for me.
I can not be with my grandkids or my chrildren. I don't have any family to be with for Christmas I do have my Fiancé mom and his step father.. I'm so truly so grateful for and I understand how lucky I'm. I can't say it don't hurt me , tear me apart to hear the chrildren running through the house laughing knowing when they come around the corner it won't be my grand daughters face or my grandson causing drama with everyone.
When I hear the guys talking in the den being a know it all it won't be my son this time.
Ill never understand this being the way to solve anything but my kids have learned in order to hurt me most take away the grandkids.
Its like murder to me and they know it. They are having struggles unfortunately I am always the one to take everthing out on because they know I will take it.
So Ill be patient until they figure out what it is they need to be doing to improve thier situations so they can be happy.
I hope then they will change thier minds about things and hopefully put all this sadness behind us. Move on with pur lives. Idk how long this will take. . Seems like a life time already and Im dying inside with my kids my grandkids. I miss them so much I could die. I just keep telling myself to hold on. They are coming back!!!
What if they dont?
@PamelaLynn7
@PamelaLynn77 I hope you get to see them soon ❤❤❤
I'm a little sd because I haven't been stickng towrds my goals
@Shyness98 it
I feel very lonely and sad
Because I don't have my father, even though I don't want him with me, I still want him to be there.
