I first noticed I was living with depression when......

I stop being productive on studies.

Im not sure Im depressed. Im just a pitiful little human being that needs to stop wanting attention. I need to stop these thoughts that swirl around in an endless storm before they destroy me from the inside out...Im not depressed. Im just an attention seeker. Im just a person who is being idiotic. Im stupid. Im overreacting. I think too much. Im fat. Im naive. Im so fucking naive and I cant help it. Im so many freakin things and I wish I wasnt but I am. But we were all made for a reason right? And I guess this was my reason.

When I moved from my hometown to the other side of the next state over after living in the same place for twelve years. I realized how alone and broken I felt when I lived at home with people I had known for a good majority of my life and moving away from everyone to a place where I didn't know a soul made it exponentially worse.

I told my parents I wanted to die when I was 10. Before this, I wasn't a "happy child," and it wasn't until I was 16 that I began to recognize that feeling that way wasn't "normal." I sought help but didn't get any real support until I was 21.

When I realized I lost the motivation to do anything and everything including the things that brought me the most joy.

When i started to cut myself so it hurt less, because the physical pain madr my brain think of something else

I had no joy, all I wanted was to sleep all day, I didn't want to eat... I just wanted to dissappear

Sometimes I feel like I am okay and then one small thing triggers it where I feel like crawling under a rock would work better. It's too bad everyone around me doesn't even seem to care.

When I was a child being constantly verbally abused, and only ever thinking about death and dying.

Life just had no meaning. I couldn't find joy in everyday things and am generally lost on what to do. Preferring to stay in bed all day and not talk to anyone.