Struggling
Every day feels like a battle between my mind and my heart. Even when things improve, my thoughts tell me to take that leap and end everything. The comforting pull of that moment where everything would stop feels nice, but I don’t know what to do about it.
My medication still isn’t helping. Big surprise. Never had any success with medications. My sleep is terrible even when I sleep on time. Juggling a full time job and three classes takes a toll. And I don’t know how much longer I can keep paying it.
@generousKitten6660
I'm sorry you are feeling this way!
It doesn't feel like it but these feelings are temporary .
Jumping is never a solution.
Your medication and sleep pattern aren't using you right now and you are juggling alot.
But it won't always be this way!
Your feelings matter!
Sending you genuine best wishes 💜 💕
@generousKitten6660
I'm hearing how hard this is for you. Finding a medication that works takes time, and I know from experience how frustrating it is when you're on a medication that doesn't work. Even so, I'm sensing great strength from you because you're taking three classes despite your struggles. And definitely don't take that leap, things will get better with time.
@generousKitten6660
I hear how heavy and exhausting everything feels for you right now. It sounds incredibly overwhelming to juggle work, school, and your mental health, especially when your medication and sleep aren’t helping as much as you hoped. The feelings you’re describing, that pull toward wanting it all to stop, are serious, and it’s okay to acknowledge how much that weighs on you. You don’t have to face this alone, and reaching out to someone trained in crisis support can help keep you safe.
@generousKitten6660 I am so sorry you are going through this at the moment. It must be so hard. If you would like a chat please put a message request through and I can listen to how you are feeling in more detail
@generousKitten6660 It sounds like you are going through an extremely difficult time of your life and you feel exhausted not just exhausted because you are tired but also exhausted because of how much you are doing. And honestly it's impressive that you are able to do so much while struggling with depression. Working and studying at the same time isn't easy even without depression. So it's incredible what you are achieving. I know it's tough but I think you should take pride in the fact that you are managing through it even if it's difficult you are going through it. When many suffer from depression it becomes very difficult to see what the future holds and that creates a loop where you aren't working towards a future. You are however even while depressed actively working towards a better future by educating yourself.
The medications not working is a very hard problem to solve. Different meds work for different people and sometimes it feels like we try everything and nothing works. But at least in those moments we can know that we did try things. We didn't give up and if we eventually do find the thing that works it will be because of all of the hours we put in to get there. For every medication you take that didn't work you are one step closer to finding one that does.
I also want to add here at the end that if you are feeling in a crisis at any point there are helplines through text chat, phone and web chats. Taking the leap is never a solution. You are already working on getting better by trying out meds. Now it's just to keep it up and win this long and difficult fight against depression. I and everyone else here believes in you!
@generousKitten6660 i hear you nd i’m really glad you shared this what you’re carrying sounds exhausting and it makes sense that you feel worn down
when depression pulls you into that place where even the idea of stopping feels comforting
it’s not because you’re weak
it’s because you’re tired of fighting your own thoughts
and yet still showing up still speaking your truth
still showing up still speaking your truth
you don’t have to figure it all out tonight you just have to keep breathing through this moment and if you want, we can talk about what’s been helping even a little <3
@generousKitten6660
i am so sorry that you are experiencing this right now, and i understand how tiring and difficult it is to always feel like you're in limbo between every aspect of life--work, school, and personal well-being. despite the trials and tribulations, you are still here and still trying and i am so proud of you for that. i know firsthand how difficult it is to attempt different medications and not feel better with any of them. but take it from me, it does get better and feelings do not last forever. sending you my best <3
@generousKitten6660 Im sorry to hear that you are going through a hard time. It must be very hard to having those inner battle everyday. It takes years until your body just give in to all those stress so please be patient with yourself. Give yourself as much time as it needed to rest and heal. It can be frustrating to find a medication that fits. But you are not alone in this and it wont be forever.
@generousKitten6660 I’m sorry to hear how much you’ve been struggling. Not only is it so difficult struggling with your mental health and juggling your responsibilities but your medication isn’t working and you’re not getting good sleep. That must be so frustrating and exhausting to go through.
@generousKitten6660 It sounds like you’ve been carrying a level of exhaustion that would overwhelm anyone, and those thoughts are coming from how worn down you are. And even though it feels like you’re alone in this, you’re not. What you're feeling is completely understandable, especially when you’ve been holding so much for so long. You don’t have to untangle all of this on your own.