You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
truly hate myself for feeling that way , knowing he's a married man yet i want to get close to him but part of me feeling afraid (😨) to lose him i know its not my first time posting this kind of emotions . its making me teared up sometimes just can't imagine if i were to live without him in my life . 
@jazmine1986
Because I don't know the full story behind this post, I'll try to thread carefully here because this is clearly a very sensitive situation that you're experiencing. What I'll tell you is that you may perhaps find great benefit in seeing both the positives and negatives of your situation. Positives: See the value in someone as a great friend if you two have had an incredible friendship. An incredible friendship or closeness of sorts with someone is something that, on its own, is a magical thing for anyone to have in this world. I say if you and this person are close friends, and especially if they're married, try to just find the fullness in just that beautiful friendship alone.
If you feel there is simply no way you can be around them without having "extra" feelings towards them no matter how much you've tried, take some time away perhaps and really think things through (I'm not sure if this person already knows how you feel about them as the details here are sparing so please bare with me). One of my newest friends happens to be someone that I'm very attracted to and they were single as we were getting to know each other as great friends but they just told me yesterday about a date that they just went on.
A couple of conflicting emotions went through my mind when I learned that, but then I did the most righteous thing in that moment...I felt genuinely happy that she got to find happiness in her current time of turmoil. Seeing her happy made me happy even if it wasn't with me. That's the righteous thing to do in my situation. See the greatness in their happiness in their life. See the value of them being able to come to me to talk about their date with such an open book policy security with me. That....that's a great friendship and one that is valuable in this life. They may end up being with someone that is not myself but it doesnt mean that I lose them in my life. It just means God made us meet for a different reason.
With that thought in my head, I've slowly began to change my tune about her. Now I wasn't seeing her as the attractive girl that I had hidden feelings for her. Instead, I saw her as family that I'd go out of my way to support whenever she needed. It's a different kind of love but a powerful one nonetheless. I guess what I'm saying to you is take the time to work out whether or not you can transition your feelings towards another type of perspective, and if you truly can't, then you may have to make some drastic decisions there, but don't give up on trying the righteous non-selfish decision. Their happiness is what's important over your own desires. That's where true love lies.
Hope my ignorance to your situation being light on details didn't make this a waste of time read. I hope you're able to find some help here with this advice as it has definitely helped me in my situation greatly.
Bonus Advice: Personal fantasies can be dangerous to live in (especially when driven by powerful emotions). It's best to see the reality of the situation from ALL angles then work from there. Take the much needed time to truly break everything down and find the root of the problem them go from there.
I have all of this creative potential but I just feel like I am getting crushed by my anxiety and depression.
I have so many feeling that I feel emotionally constipated. I feel like I have emotional and writers block at the same time.
I think I need to create another vent book and release it all.
I want to be a famous writer but why can't I focus?
@Rebekahwriter13
First off, cut away the desire for fame. That's the type of goal that eventually destroys someone from the inside out when implimented in their passion. If one wants to be a musician desiring to play music to serenade a crowd, then the passion for learning and mastering an instrument(s) and eventually playing for groups of people should be the goal...NOT becoming a famous musician. Is it for attention or is it to spread your artistic expression and passion to the world? That's a very crucial conversation that you need to have with yourself and be 100% honest about it.
What is wanting fame but attention seeking? Your have such an incredible amount of value as a creative that no amount of people praising you in your face will change. Create because you LOVE to and because God placed it in your heart to and NOT because you want to be famous for it. You're putting an unnecessary and unworthy pressure on yourself by doing that. Instead, relaxingly ask yourself what would be the most healthy and rewarding enviorment and mindset needed to really push my creative side forward? When I was a music producer, this is what I would always put at the forefront of my mind when creating. I'd have mental blocks at times and would ask myself "Okay, what's different about this moment than before? What happened recently that would cause a mental block? Do I just simply need a break? Is it something else like a new distraction perhaps that I need to take care of? Maybe I should explore going somewhere outside of my normal setting and see what it does for me creatively?".
Once i figured it out (and sometimes time itself simply heals all wounds including a mental block), I'd be at it again pulling crazy hours in the morning coming up with tons of ideas. Whenever the business side of things came into the picture however (will I make money off of this track? I really need to make money and get noticed!!), that's when I'd get frustrated and discouraged causing...you guessed it...mental creative blocks sometimes. When that happened, I'd sit back and ask myself whether or not it would be just fine if I made not one single penny on a piece of music or that no one major in the industry would hear it. If my answer was an honest "yes" then I could create in peace. If the answer was "no" then something was off about my motivation to create art that I had to take care of. If the answer was "I don't know" then I took the time to figure it out.
Point is, mental blocks can come from various places, but what you need to do in many of this situations is ask yourself what the root of the problem may be. Take the much needed time to figure that out and you'll end up possibly learning something deeper about yourself. Or sometimes...you just need a break.
@SaleemF I appreciate you realitsuc honesty. I want the world to read my written work and be with same level as Stephen king and Anne rice.
There is nothing wrong with having a dream. I misworded it this my dream, and yes a dream can be a goal, but its the light at the end of a really long tunnel. I'm almost done with my trilogy. I will get my book out there.
@Rebekahwriter13
Now that you've worded it like that, then yeah that's awesome. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the dream of getting your work out there BIG TIME.
I have a fear of my own anxiety. My anxiety and depression have flared up in the past. I keep feeling like their return is imminent and it exhausts me. I feel like i'm on a slippery slope, and maybe its not just my imagination. I've never avoided a pitfall with anxiety or depression, but I don't want to go back there again. Right now, I am considering investing in a therapist with my savings but idk if that will help because i'm living very frugally at the moment. I don't know if I can actually wait to get help anymore. I am going to hope my therapist is worth the money.
How do you feel when you hear someone else talk about their life experiences with mental illness? How would you feel when within 2 hours, you hear it from 4 different people?
For myself, when I hear them talk about depression, anxiety, suicidal thoughts, feeling down and all those negative things, I find myself nodding my head. Really knowing how they felt at that moment. It also reminds me of my dark times and hardships that I went through. All four of those speakers got emotional, 2 of them tried to hold their emotions in and the other two cried. I have mentioned briefly before to on a couple of people that I know what depression is like, but I'm unable to go into detail. Maybe later on down the road, when I feel more close to the group then I might reveal more of my dark past. At most times though, I'm always afraid that if I reveal too much of my past, I will have people turn their back on me. I've experienced that too many times in the past, that I hesitate a lot before I talk about it. Always afraid that the other person would think bad of me, that there's something wrong with me. Or that they don't know anything about depression and say things that hurt us even more, without them knowing what they had done wrong.
Living with my family, people who are not familiar with depression. I find that I hide a lot of my feelings from them. The deep feelings are never expressed, and no one close to me will ever know. I know family don't judge each other, that for whatever they do and say, they think it's for the best of us. That they say and do things out of love, but because I didn't feel that love since I was a kid, back to the time to where my depression originated from, I had no support and felt no love from my family. In a way, I think that I still can't forgive them, that I felt like it's partly their fault. For not paying attention to me when we need it the most in our childhood, making our growth slower and forgotten. I remember I once saw a Psychologist about 5-7 years ago, she mentioned that I had seemed to stop certain thoughts back to when I had my traumatic experiences. Because I wasn't helped then, that my thoughts/life stopped then. My thoughts are stuck at that time, and I have to say, it is really hard to let it go. I do feel it's a lot better now, many things don't feel as fresh, like it happened yesterday. I have gotten a lot better the past couple years, stopped medications for almost 2 years now. But I felt that these two years, I still didn't have the support I wanted from my family, that I somehow just pulled through it myself. I feel that this will be a continuous thing, no one to depend on, no one to share my deepest thoughts with, for the rest of my life. Once in a while, or more frequently now, when my thoughts come to this point, it reminds myself as to how lonely I feel. Afraid that this feeling of loneliness will swallow me alive~
So I broke up with my boyfriend of 7 months yesterday and I thought it was going to be pretty mutual, but when I told him, he only said he was dating me because he felt bad for me. That made me feel complete shit and now i'm in a pretty hard depressive episode. The biggest effect is my dysphoria. I just really want to start hormones and can't for another 2 yearsand his validation helped a lot with dysphoria. Finding someone who actually finds me attractive just made me feel like I passed. Now I know that the guy who I thought lieked me didn't even like me so I just feel like no one will find me attractive. I feel horrible and just wanted to rant
on 6th July , i post i'm 😨 to lose him as a friend
UPDATED
today is 22nd July , writing to say i'm 👌 but i was thinking whether to go the airport on 1st december to send him though his family might be there & his wife might go with him .
I hate my sister. I spent all day trying to find a dress and my mom helped me and I found one. Then I get home and my sister said no way you will fit in that dress and it's sooo ugly, take it back. I hate her sooo much. Why does she have to be so mean??
This is my first post, forgive me, if I do this wrong. I've suffered from depression since I was a child. I've been on different types of medications to help it. Theres good times and bad. This one just slithered in and is slowly taking me down. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years in February, am still not over him or what he represented to me. Hope in finding someone who gets me. I also started a new job. Which has been driving my anxiety to new levels but I really love it there. I can get up and go to work. But once my days off hit i sleep 14 hours and can barely pull myself out of bed to do basic things. I guess i was so busy trying to find a new job and doing training I ignored the sadness building. But now it feels like its swallowing me up. I don't want to do anything but sleep. I feel terribly lonely, sad, hurt. I don't know what to do to fight it.
@LadyPanda88 it sounds like you're going through a lot of changes all at once, and that's always really hard for people with depression and anxiety. New jobs are always stressful too.
Can you take breaks at work, and spend a few minutes calming yourself down then? It might help you handle your new job a bit better. Once you know what to expect more, it might not be as bad.
My parents chose a name for me before I was born (Cecelia), then when I was born they changed it slightly(Leah). I don't like my current name and I identify with Cecelia more somewhat because I've had gender identity issues because I'm the most tomboy out of my two sisters and me. It's just me and my preference. I'm 15 now and my parents aren't 100% against it. The bigger problem is that my mom is devastated and really disappointed because she feels like I'm telling her that she was wrong because she considered the name Cecelia and rejected it. I've already changed the spelling of my name to Lia, but she's torn and I don't know how to talk to her because I feel like she's trying to guilt me into apologizing and letting it go but I really don't want to. Changing my name legally before the age of 18 would make the whole transition so much smoother.
@Cece1iaR0se
We are as our creator intended us to be. Or rather...we strive to be as our creator intended. This is something you bring to God for clarity for He above anyone else knows the true you. Just my honest respectful opinion.
My Depression Topic: Replying to people
I am trash. I am a bad person. And I dont need people to tell me otherwise. My Depression makes me become a bad person. My Depression makes me ignore peoples text. Every time my phone blares with a new message I regret instantly giving that person my number. I always think, Its just a text its not that hard to fucking reply to. At least thats what my mind thinks, but my body.
where all that depressikn, anxiety all those mental illness that manifest inside me they make it hard. They begin talking to me before I can even reply. Its so much fucking work to hold that conversation once you start it, Theyre just going to laugh at what you reply with and worst of all making sure Im not just rambling about myself (because who wants to hear that?). Every single time someone asks me for my number I have hit them with a WARNING: I am bad at texting, I may reply several days later if I reply at all (and most of the time I do not). Yet even with that warning every time they see my they get me with Why didnt you reply or I know you said you were bad at texting, but yeah. As if I didnt feel shitty about not replying in the first place.
And believe me I WANT to reply, but god the my anxiety, my Depression, it just makes me feel like its such a waste, and trust me its not you. Its me because I am trash. I am a bad person and I dont need anyone to tell me otherwise.
@IAmWhatIFeel Sympathy. With me it's emails and phone calls. Nobody should ever expect me to call them.
@IAmWhatIFeel
Relatable. I dont have a mobile phone and that already kinda complicates it for me to keep up w my outside of school friends. Last year I deleted all my social media accounts because I wanted to isolate myself from all family and friends. Some of my friends are in dark places themselves and Ive been by them for years but Im at the point where I feel as if Im too drained to be able to support them. Its like I have made myself create a circle of my darkness and I want to be as far as possible from everyone. If it wasnt for school attendance being mandatory I highly doubt anyone would ever see me.
@IAmWhatIFeel I have a message by a friend from 2016 that I never read. Just could't open it