You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
'm sad and angry at the same time. I'm technically unemployed but during non-Covid-19 time I would go to to volunteer work at my church. My Dad's been retired since 2013. So besides my disability income from provincial government which I get every month- the only other money we would normal have coming in is my Mother's job as a Supply teacher ( in Ontario its called Occasional Teachers) in high schools
Because of Covid-19 the schools been closed since March Break. There's talk about the schools not being open until May. Some people think that the schools in Ontario should be closed till the fall.. but I disagree with that since it means people like my Mom wouldn't be able to do stuff this summer (if stuff is able to go back to normal by summer..) and their might not be able to go on any trips.. or anything if Mom doesn't work (she hasn't worked since before March Break.. she was suppose to have worked last Wednesday)
*bangs face on wall* I wanna pass!! Am boy, sir, mister, man not those other pronouns! *punches wall* I want people to not touch me when I say so! But noo, they have to do it! *lights wall on fire* I want to be proud of myself without getting peoples two sense! It's my opinion not theirs! *curls up in fetal position* Confidence I want confidence.
Thank you for coming to my ted talk.
@wonderousSigns7
feel a bit pathetic turning to some random possible frog in a suit, but I'm going to ignore that.
here's the deal (and sorry if this is sensitive), I cut myself. If I wasn't so weak, I'd be able to say "never" or "used to", but tonight, I cut myself. My dad checks me regularly and I feel as though I might vomit with guilt. I don't know how to fix it. I was doing so well but then all the stupid voices got too loud and I felt so helpless and out of my body I needed to reconnect, feel something. That happens at least once a day now. I just "zone out" and get stuck in my own head. I was doing so well; three weeks getting back out into my body without cutting, but then all of these thoughts kicked in and I used my keys. I'm just hoping you guys don't contact anybody because that's the last thing I want. Sorry for the big paragraph, I'm not going to sleep tonight
@limeBeing7918 It doesn't always get better right away.....that's what I expected when I was dealing with depression, and yes, cutting myself also. I expected that when I stopped, and when my parents found out and everything, I would be okay....but I still got depressed afterwards and I felt confused as to way I still felt this way. It's because we're on a journey....and taking that first step in trying to stop is a big deal. You went three weeks without cutting, and that is a great improvement. You're starting your journey to getting better.....don't get down when you stumble because you're learning as you go. That's what I went through also. Whenever those thoughts start to invade your mind, occupy yourself with things you enjoy doing....or maybe even have a friend or someone you can go to and talk too when you start to feel a certain way.
I'm always here if you ever need to talk
@wonderousSigns7
wow, the frog in a suit is suprisingly helpful. Well, my dad found out, walls were punched, I nearly ran away, big big mess. But I'm looking on the bright side: the guilt of cutting was so bad I never want to put my dad through it again. But if you look on the bad side: I'm zoning out more. I spoke to a friend about everything and she said it was probably derealisation, something that comes with high amounts of anxiety, stress, trauma.. I don't want to think about it but I'm going to have to if I want to figure my head out. Hell, I even thought I had bpd! I've never been fond of telling people how I feel, I've always been the councillor, so when all of this started happening I never expected to. I'm going to get better. I think I'll be better soon. I'll try, anyhow.
so much love I might die, Chloe x
This is good because I'm ranting into thin air verbally, pretending to be in a club in my room with my tea and the people I live with already think I'm mad, so I couldn't get any madder.
Best to write it here.
After a very heated conversation with dad, although I'm beginning to think it's not my dad because it doesn't sound like him but who gives a toss, I have a bus tomorrow, because I've said a thousand times I am going home!!!!!!!
I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss everyone and I'm willing to put this 6 months to rest because my family and my home need to be sorted out alongside this. I'm miserable that I eye roll EVERYONE. aka this is not me.
I've watched constant videos of expeditions of DofE, my old school, festivals, everything that I am pumped to be on home turf. It's going to be a long ride home but I promise myself I ain't leaving my city until I get my place in university.
I realise I actually have and am everything I always wanted to be. Always that it was staring at me right in the face.I
I've made videos of my so called stranded condition but I couldn't give a duck about Covid and I'm also tired of other people speaking for me and making creative assumptions about me. I'll speak for myself from now on - I didn't do public speaking for no goddamn ruddy reason.
I've a long ass bus ride back but like I said, I can't wait to hear my mother shouting as I bash my bike in the back garden doing tricks.
You know that's when I'm bsck....
@sensibleStrawberries9877
hey, I'm not going to make any decisions for you because that's dumb and you're your own person whom I do not know, but can I at least recommend if you are going somewhere, you bring slightly more money than the bus, so that you can safely go back if something happens or get a taxi, and bring hand sanitizer or gloves because covid might not effect you but I get the sense you want to go to other people, and if they get infected when they could be at risk, it's a really bad situation.
sending love and hugs, Lime.
Hi. Sitting on a couch. I like it. I was irritated becasue I was hungry. Not sure if it's a light episode i'm haivng that kicked in yesterday. Uh I'm here. I'm tried. I'm tired. Hm. Not a daya of doing much. Calm. Light. If I had a 10 minute space. I'd do laundry, prepare. Fold clothes. If i had 2nd 10 minute space. I'd look at my kitchen. See what I need to make spam masubi.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/49785/spam-musubi/
Online reading. it says I need to look for these ingredients.
2 cups rice
6 tablespoons of rice vinegar
1/4 cup soy sauce
sugar
oh yeah, seaweed...i don't think i have any....what else can i make!!?
i have another 10 min. Nap. I'm very tired today and I'm glad class begins again next week. I will rest and put on lotion and a face mask. Maybe not...maybe just sleep
I have anothe r10 minute i see long youtube movie
I look at reading YELL-Oh Girls. I read a chapter of a textbook. Reading day . K. I got this.
10 minute i can return here and see what i want to do.
hope there is structured discussion in community chat . i want to go to at least 1
i'm disgustinf 😐🤡😃😃😃😃👉👈 i keep putting burdens on e v e r y single person i meet loving myself rn !!!!!! also theyre making us go back to school in five days. hahahah !!!!!
Feel like crying. My sister keeps yelling at me and my parents and I feel like it doesn't matter how I feel. When I'm upset, I keep it to myself. Feel alone.
Makes me so mad how people don't care about the world and only themselves. Like how people don't care about women's rights or animal rights and are so oblivious to everything. I don't wanna hold this anger in me but it's hard not to and I don't know how to stop.
It's gone. It's all gone. Everything I worked for really was for nothing. Why do I even bother anymore? I work too hard for people who don't care. I do everything by myself without a bat of an eye from anyone else. All the "I'm fine"s and "I'm just tired"s are piling up and no one sees behind my flakey lies. I cry for help, I beg for salvation, but they just ignore me. Like I'm some annoying insect. And when I'm not crying and begging, I'm proving my worth in one way or another. They look at me with hallow smiles and vacent eyes and question why I work. And I reply, "To please you." They give a little half-hearted chuckle and and continue on their way without looking back at me. I stare in dismay with burning rage, wondering why I spent so much time and effort to please the people who care the least. My only function is to serve as a rotten olive branch. A gift of peace discarded, and turned bitter, withering away as sharp hooves stomp by.
@Bahari2 i do understand you. People seem to use the others to get well but they don't care if you need help too, those people are selfish! I've been always trying to please and help them but i never felt it back it's like if i was completely disposable. Anyways if you want to talk, i'm here 🖤
I'm so goddamn sick of this. I wish I was fucking dead.
@tluper6491
I won't pretend to understand but like so many I'm finding it increasingly hard to listen to the constant reports we all here and dare I say ever changing briefings.