You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I cant do it...why is everyone leaving me to suffer on my own..I might as well stay under water since I'm already drowning....I hate it...I hate the pain I feel. I want it gone. If it wont leave...then I guess I will..
With the social distancing going on my school started online classes and they are terrible for me. I can't learn wihout an actual teacher telling me what's going on and even just seeing their face would help, but they can only do online courses (without videos of lesson that would help people like me) and my parents keep on telling me to keep on working and working to get through second quarter. I'm not supposed to work in school, I'm supposed to learn, but they disagree, even my mother a freaking highschool teacher hasn't learned that. I just want to change the school system but I can't I'm just a single teenager. At least highschool is better than my middle school where I begged for death, and only now my parents actually care about my mental health. I'm so tired of them not understanding, and worst is that I can't tell them because I cry every time we speak of this. So I decided to act and I wrote a small book of everything they did wrong with raising me and I plan on giving it to my brother and his wife for my future nieces and nephews.
@jellypie the idea of writing a book of all your parents wrongdoings is such a good idea. Im so going to do that. Also I know how you feel Im in a similar situation. Its hard, isnt it. Just heartbreaking.
@caringCami1304 Thank you. More on the idea if you want to give it to parents I recommend adding quotes and support from higher ups such as real therapists so that even if they disagree with it you have more to back up your reasons. Personally I'm planning on giving the book to my brother anonymously and you can do that to your parents too. Futher more I did the wrighting in rainbow colored pens so I don't get to mad when I'm righting stuff down. If you need some ideas on what to put in it I can help.
@jellypie alrighty thanks for the info😊 take care :)
Im sick of my dad. Sick of my mom. Sick of school. Im sick of everything. Told my mom I feel I have depression, she didnt believe me and said Im just being a teenager. When my parents found out I cut myself (last time I did it was weeks ago so Im doing much better) they did the worst parenting mistake ever possible. They didnt get me help. Thats all Ive ever wanted, but my mom is so unsympathetic. When she finds out about something not good she just gets upset and anxious. That stupid look on her face she gets when she is mad or concerned sickens me. She says she cares but thats not what I want. I want her to understand. She will never understand. I hate when parents say they know what we are going through but they dont. The world today is so much harder to live in. Us teens are expected to act like adults but treated like ungrateful little bratty kids. Im so sick of being a teenager but I dont want to grow up. Life is so hard. But at least I know Im not alone and whoever is reading this, you arent alone either.
@caringCami1304 The fact that your mom thinks that all teenagers are depressed and rebellious makes me annoyed about how messed up the school system is. I just wish we could sit all the corrupt leaders in the world and watch a kids show like my little pony which teaches childern basic manners and have them relate them to the real world.
@jellypie hahaha yes I agree, and thank you for your insight 😌
i'm sick and tired of feeling like i don't matter to anyone. my parents don't care about how i'm doing, the one real friend i have spends all her free time with her bf and forgets i even exist, and this quarantine and online school stuff is just making matters worse. i feel so worthless and i genuinely wonder if anyone would care if i was gone. i have nothing to look forward to, nothing to be happy or excited about. everything i've been looking forward to is ruined. i just don't want to be here anymore.
I've already given up. I'm only hanging on out of habit. Everyone I look at gives me the urge to kill. Just the thought of my father makes me want to kick his face in until his head pops like a pumpkin.
my medication isn't doing anything JUST LIKE ALL THE OTHERS IVE HAD. And I still see no reason to put up with anything in life. Fuck you all. I hope everyone dies in a raging fire while I jump into a wheat thresher.
I guess this is the best way to get out how I'm feeling...too scared yet to do the live chats. I've struggled with depression for awhile and used to go to therapy but that got expensive and emotionally taxing. It's been good for awhile but this whole corona thing is really making it hard to keep it that way. My stepdad kicked me out of the house and I haven't spoken to my mom in a month. I reached out, but have yet to recieve a reply. And that hurts. Like ungodly hurts. I'm living with my dad now and it's better here than it was at my moms but I still can't help that I miss her. And feeling like I've been left out in the cold is hard. I have to distract myself because the overwhelming pain of it is something I just can't handle. I have an amazing boyfriend on the bright side. He's so eager to help even if he doesn't entirely get what it feels like to be cast out the way I have been. The only downside with dating him is that he lives 2000 miles away because he's in the military. The one shining hope I've had is seeing him in may, the first I'd see him in 4 months, but the government just extended the military travel ban. So we're not even sure if that's gonna happen anymore. I know it feels wrong to complain about the safety measures but it just feels like the one thing I've been holding onto has just been taken away from me. I just can't catch a break. School has been hard too because of this, my grades are slipping and I need to keep them up for my scholarship. But I'm really just not built for online learning, and it's too late in the semester to do anything. It just feels like my entire world is crashing down, and all I can do is just watch.
I'm kind of upset because I'm going crazy being in the same town for an entire month (I go stir-crazy if I'm stuck in a couple of town for months at a time in normal times ). The only thing I done besides being on the computer for the past month is taking or trying to take a daily walk with my father outside. All the stuff I look forward to each year got cancelled this year (my church's auction, Easter Sunrise service last Sunday, or today's Holy Hilarity Sunday) and Mom's play which was suppose to be at the beginning of May (around Mother's Day) is probably going to be post pone until next year. We think that church's Bible camp might not happen and who knows about going to (Stratford,Ontario) this summer because we don't know if their festival will go on since it was suppose to start by now.
A normal way I normally deal with my mental health is at the very least go to Pickering Town Centre (a mall two towns awhile and eat food court food there in the mall. But with food courts being closed. I normally only drink pop on Fridays but just to annoy Dad when I have lunch in the food court I prefer to drink pop (the only time I don't drink pop is my (as of now currently cancelled) every other Friday social with people from my (also currently cancelled ) program at Tim Horton's I normally drink Ice tea with my lunch (with a coffee or something).
My mom is also affect due to the fact she's a Supply/Substitute teacher and she was planning on retiring next year but she will have to work an extra year to make up for the (currently lost income).
Dad been retired since 2013.. but he would normally go to a different store every day of the week as well as visit his friend in Toronto at Jack Astor's restaurant. But the latter isn't happening and Dad can only go out once a week for our food.
Also I'm kind of concerned about my friends from (program) who might hurt themselves or worse.
Anyway Mom has said she was going to have us have take out food at *somepoint* (she hasn't told me when)- but as far as I can remember except for Dad bringing home McDonald's food- we never technically order "drinks" when we have take out or delivery- we just have our normal supper drinks
So, it seems to be a final decision with my brother getting a divorce. Long story short, the wife packed her bags and left one day last January. Her reason was she didn't feel they'd work out, as she's not much of a family type. She had moved out on her own since University years, and as an only child, her parents had been really strict when it comes to teacher her to be independent. Honestly, I think she cares too much about herself, than being ready to be in a wife. So, since this work-at-home thing started, my brother had moved back into our place (I live with my parents), brother is 4 years older than I. He has started moving something of his clothes back, along with his work supplies. The only thing they have to keep them connected is the dog she bought for my brother. Even that was without discussing with my brother. She just decided to buy it from a breeder, then tell my brother about it a week before picking him up. So, when she has the time to look after the dog, she would message my brother. Then, he would need to drive the dog back out to the apartment they lived in, so she could pick up the dog. But, I've heard that my brother will be selling that apartment back to her, as he is unable to afford to keep it, as he's also paying for the mortgage of our house. So, once all the papers are through and such, he'll have to start moving his things back home. The dog is the problem though, when he stays with us. He barks way too much and his vocals are very loud. So, it gets quite annoying. And with being brother home, things will be slightly different too. There will be things that I will no longer be able to do and have to be more cautious~
@Jaeteuk I'm sorry about your brother's divorce. that's really hard. It doesn't sound like it was a good match though. She really shouldn't have just bought a dog without telling him.
Dogs can be hard to work with, but you can probably teach him not to bark if you're willing to put some work in. He's probably bored, and needs walks and more to do. If that's the problem, the trick would be to teach him not to bark without rewarding him for barking. Have you looked up "it's me or the Dog" on youtube? They show how to train for this kind of problem a lot.
Every situation's a little different, though, so there might be something going on that I can't get from your post, like specifics for the dog's breed, or some kind of anxiety.
sorry if this was too much... I hope something helps though.
Thanks for the suggestion. I'll tell my brother about it too. We think the dog treats him like his own kind, barks at my brother whenever he's standing around doing the house. The only time he'd stop barking if my brother is laying down in bed. It's a Sheepadoodle, Sheepdog mixed with Poodle~
@BlueBetta
I'm so angry, I hate how I'm always treated as second best. Like I'm nothing. I want to matter to someone, I want to be remembered by someone. Im never anyone knows exists unless I'm in their line of vision. I just want to know what it feels like to matter.
I hate feeling like this.
@sympatheticGrapes5527
You matter. 🖤
Im grateful to my mom for letting me stay in her house and paying the bills but she always feels the need to belittle me in everything I do. Whenever I had a job, she used to insult me because of my low salary. Now I am unemployed and she is even more hard on me. Whenever I get angry because of her bitter words she always blames me saying that Im over sensitive and that Ill get nowhere with that kind of attitude. She always has to have the last word. She hates apologizing and loves to show her greatness of providing me financially. Im so depressed and angry. Can somebody please suggest what should I do?
