You can rant here

I just wanna let all this out about my frustration with the complexity of "Simpathetic Happiness" and why people find it difficult.

I've always found it easy to be happy for other people's lives, success, etc but no one seems to be able to do the same for me. They always try to make me feel like I shouldn't be happy or don't deserve to be happy; which ve come to identify as their expression of envy.

To use a movie as an example; in The Count of Monte Cristo, Mercedes (character) acknowledges Fernon's envy of Edmund by recalling a memory of their childhood when, for their birthdays, Fernon got a pony and Edmund got a whistle. Fernon was so angry that Edmond was happier with his whistle than he was with his Pony.

This is how I see other people's envy. People unsatisfied with their lives will always be unhappy so long as they see others happier than them; regardless if said person is less fortunate.

This is how I know happiness is not earned through material, but emotional accomplishments. I know that people aren't aware of what they have when they have it and so they always want more or they want someone else's life. And this is why I become infuriated with people for complaining. Especially people who sit still and whine that nothing changes. Well, then move! And yes, I do understand what depression does to hold you hostage, I am guilty of this as well. All that I ask is that you don't shame my happiness or guilt me for they're own unhappiness.

The night before, I had 2 dreams. I need to vent about this. Okay so,, the first dream was about me walking around in a hallway seeing spiders everywhere like on the ceiling, doors walls, etc they were everywhere. *shudders* but anyway I looked up what spiders meant in dreams; they represent change in life. I finally found my way out the building, someone was waiting for me, I couldn't tell who it was because it was dark outside. I ended telling them I'm finally free!! Then the next dream I had was about some people were fighting and then a person pointed a gun at me which frightened me. In the dream, it showed that my parent & sibling laughing at me saying "I can't believe she fell for that!! She's so stupid" that should keep her frightened for awhile!" Does that mean that a positive change is coming my way & people are holding me back from changing or does it mean something else?? Those 2 dreams have been on my mind since it happened!

I feel so sad and alone. I don't get the emotional support I need from my husband. He seems to blame me for everything no matter what happens. Last week my son was extremely rude and mean to me. After he got mad and left my husband blamed me for not saying something to keep him from leaving. Apparently, it doesn't matter how much my son hurt me or how rude he was, I should just suck it up and not have any feelings about it. He keeps arguing with me about it, and I feel so hurt and alone.

This sucks, this sucks so much. At the beginning of this week I felt better and was more motivated than I've been in a very long time, probably years. And now that's gone again. Last night I couldn't sleep, today I had no appetite, the only meal I had was lunch, after eating I went to bed and did nothing but watch the same videos over and over again, I kept feeling numb and there was zero motivation to do anything. I seem to be flip-flopping a lot lately. It's discouraging because there is no reason for any of my moods. I can't deal with this, I don't want to deal with this for the rest of my life. But it seems like I have to because my stupid brain doesn't work properly and all the things that are supposed to help don't seem to help much at all. Nobody understands. It's like everyone who got to witness my good mood thinks I'm doing well af when in reality I'm like a kinder surprise egg where you never know what a day will bring. I hope tomorrow I'll be able to get shit done. I hope I can sleep now. I doubt it though.

keep going and find undestanding, a purpose fot the things you do for school

@wonderousSigns7

Im a 14 year old transgender and I'm afraid of not getting accepted, i have body disphorya and I think that's what has caused my depression, I'm afraid of telling my parents. I once asked my dad If I could get a binder and he said no, and I feel that even if i tell them about my disphorya they will still say no.

I'm drowning in my own thoughts. People think because I smile, I have no problems. I have no kids, so this pandemic can't be taking a toll on me. I have no room to speak my truth. And so it swims in my head, trapped with no release. It rises. And rises. And rises. And I'm losing myself.

I spent the last 6 years working on my mental health. I've been doing lots of research about relationships, forgiveness, and self love. I had a pretty rough childhood growing up and was mentally/physically abused and abandoned. I've pretty much spent my entire life in a super foggy state of depression which caused me to disassociate from the world. Drugs didn't help and I did everything I could to get my hands on them thinking they did. After I gave up the hard drugs I got pregnant. spent a lot of my time sleeping everyday in a state of postpartum intensifying the depression. I was afraid of being a mother because mine is so abusive. I left her with her father and would go to sleep. I would only get up to go to work. Spend a few hours with my kids and go back to bed. 7 years together. I got jealous. I accused my fiance of cheating on me with the neighbor. He vehemently denied it. I found her hair on my pillow. It led to us breaking up. So on my own with 2 kids. Through all this introspection and pissing off quite a few people burning bridges over the last 6 years, my depression has turned to apathy and I'm just going through the motions everyday. I'm at peace for the most part now that those bridges have been burned. I learned a lot and I am thankful for the consequential lessons. I'm better for it. Now, it's like things have come full circle and my ex and I are living together again and I don't know where to go from here.

My problem is that I think that I'm better than others, simple life rules do not apply to me, im constantly nagging about that how bad everyone are, how poor, I am, how hard life is for me, how nobody likes me, no surprise, it is my fault. I try to gain everyone approval, appreciation, always think how I can be better, instead of showing humility. Instead of seeing that I'm just as selfish as full of pride and entilteled as my dad is. That I'm always nagging at everyone but in reality, I should be better for them, that if they like me or not doesn't matter, never did, you only have to be good for people around you, and things will work out. All I do is nag, and think of myself highly when I did nothing ever to be good, this is why I dont like psychology, because it is blind for wrongdoings and norms, it helps you to discover what you want but doesn't tell you, never, true, that in reality you are creating your problems all of them, that you are bad one, that you have no humility and honor, and things you do, are wrong, that you suck, and that's all. I got lost, I regret nothing that much as beliving in psychology, all that bullshit, now it is starting everything all over again, non stop, and you feel so so so so so stupid. Because you are in fact stupid and overdramatic, and people who care about you won't tell you that, because fixing you is not their job, they have their lives, own things much more important than yours. And that liking yourself is also something you have to deserve, because otherwise, you are that one stupid person, that everyone hates, and dislikes, but she thinks that she is right just because she loves herself, it is bullshit, blind bullshit. Some people don't deserve to like themselves with who they are, if they saw it they could be better and they would be scared of what they are. Because now, I am scared of who I am. And I'm going to work all holiday to prove myself, that I live my same rules as everyone, and I should be kind. Because I know nothing

Can anyone explain how 'unknown' contributors are allowed to post on this site? : clearly trolling and making hugely counter-productive remarks. Since there appears to be no formal means of issuing a complaint I will now leave in a much worse psychological state than when I rather foolishly joined.