You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I feel like I betrayed my boyfriend. I have severe anxiety which can lead to a lot of "paranoia". I used to get upset about how close he acted around one of our gal friends and I vented to my best friend about it, at one point saying I'd briefly considered breaking up with him but that I loved him so much. A few months down the line I found this conversation whilst searching for something else in our chat log and I feel absolutely terrible about it. I love my boyfriend with all my heart and we're in a great place now - he's a lovely guy. I just can't believe I'd say something like that all those months ago and the anxiety and guilt is absolutely consuming me. First of all for venting about someone I loved and placing him in such a negative light, and secondly for suggesting I'd thought of breaking up with him. I feel absolutely horrible.
@SweetApple6470
Your guilt and anxiety proves how much you care about him. Remember that and hold it closer to you than the guilt itself. You clearly do love this man and the fact youre both in a great place is something that you should spend time celebrating and appreciating with every fiber of your being.
When I was married, almost every single day, I used to happily leap after my wife with hugs and kisses just to show her how much I loved the fact that I had her in my life. The fact that we were happy made me happy thereby resulting in me showing that happiness to her and celebrating it in all types of ways.
That to me is what you should spend time focusing on. Remember this crucial fact, were all humans and were not perfect thereby mistakes are going to be made. Its all about how we handle said mistakes and not now wallow in it. If your boyfriend is a forgiving and loving person then Im sure hell understand, but you have to be very careful about how you present your dilemma to him (if you havent already).
At the end of the day, I want you to smother the hate you have towards yourself with the love you have for him.
I HATE LIFE!
Life can be very difficult, sometimes impossible, at times as far as the many obstacles that comes flying our way. As someone who has personally been through quite the emotional ringer, I can tell you right now that Life isnt something that one should spend time hating.
Ive found that its pretty easy to give into the idea that the world is somehow designed to screw us over than it is to consider the fact that all of our tribulations are laid out to better ourselves in the grand scheme of things.
That one relationship break up or the time you lost your job for a ridiculous reason isnt the world intentionally crashing down on your happiness as one might think. Although, it is easy to feel that way in that moment.
The crazy thing is that we eventually progress pass those storm cloud hovering events in our lives realizing that it was all door opening paths to interesting new chapters. Thats the part of life that even I myself have a tendency to forget. No matter how bad things get, theres always a path being set to take us to where we NEED to be even if were not able to see it.
Life sucks!! is a phrase that Ive said plenty of times in the past. Now Ive changed it to Life can be a tricky. We dont have a manual in front of us to guide us through everything, but thats not necessarily a bad thing. Its what makes life that much more adventurous and interesting. I say to take a massive breather and comfortably chart out your next chapter.
I wish my family understood me better. I feel like I am the black sheep. Everyone either directly or indirectly thinks I'm stupid. My brother constantly criticizes me on how I cook and do chores, and he always insists on doing himself because he thinks he does it better. Whenever I make a mistake or not think like my mom, she says, "Use your common sense!" or "I guess common sense isn't that common." They don't realize that their actions really hurt. They try to be supportive, but they just don't get me. They say I need to hang out with people more, and in general, put myself out there. In general, that is true, but they don't get that I like being by myself. I don't feel like hanging out with people.
I'm tired of never feeling good enough for my family. They never outwardly say it, but I know it is true. I don't know why my friends are so supportive, but my family isn't. And I've tried talking to them, but they'll never get me. I think I need to take a break from them.
@sensibleTriangle2997
Not sure how old you are, but if you are of age to chart your own life and live the way that you feel is best for you and not harmful at the slightest then I can tell you that family can be a tricky thing but dont let it bring you down.
Speaking from experience, Ive always seen my friends as my family and my family as just people that Im aware is related to me (with the exception of my brother and father who are the only family members that Ive connected to). The thing is is that once I left home to live out my life when I turned 18 and moved out, I realized how much their thoughts about me didnt necessarily mean that much in the grand scheme of things.
Yes, their love and support is somewhat important but whether or not they think youre good enough for them shouldnt be the final statement on how you should feel about yourself. Just continue to love and care for them as your relatives, but dont let their sometimes smartass remarks kill your mood or ego.
If youve already had a very mature and respectful conversation with them about the way their treatment hurts you then youve already taken the right steps. Now its all about you charting your own life making something out of yourself knowing that they do actually love you at the end of the day despite their horrendous way of showing it.
It's been 4 years, 2 months and 24 days since I lost my dog, Cocoa. I've always wanted another dog of my own, but parents were always going away on trips and I worked full-time, we couldn't have a dog. Nor could we afford one, ever since my dad retired. I now started a new career, but parents are still going on their trips. Makes me wonder if we'll (or I'll) ever have a dog.
Then, a few days ago, brother and his wife came over for dinner, after looking at a Sheepadoodle nearby. They picked him up yesterday. It seemed very sudden to me, but it's nice seeing them raise a dog. They had been married for 3 years now, and I hope having a dog around will help my brother with his stresses from work. Happy for him, but why do I feel sad for myself?
The more I think about it, I feel like tearing up. Actually, during my first week of Orientation work (2 weeks ago), I found out one staff there is also from Hong Kong. We chatted and found out we both loved watch Korean Dramas. But, when she asked me, if any of my other friends like watching Korean Dramas, I told her some do, but a lot of them don't have time to watch it. But truthfully, in my mind, I was thinking, "I don't really have any friends." Those "friends" I referred to were merely acquaintances. Maybe this is why I wanted to have a dog, to make me feel less lonely. No friends, no boyfriend, just family. Parents that I live with, brother that I see maybe once a week.
Is it even possible to have no friends? I thought people live on by leaning on one another, but I have no one to lean on. I know my depression is on and off, and it's better now to a point where I don't need any medications. But, during times like these, I feel I need some sort of support or friend, that I can share my thoughts with. But there's literally nobody to talk to, no one that can physically be by my side. I have you, nice people in 7 Cups as support. But, I wish I had a real person that I can lean on, share my feelings with.
With this new career of mine, I do have goals that I want to achieve with the money I earn from it. But, it will take at least 5 years to achieve that goal. It is one of my motivations to do this career. You know how when you were young, you tend to dream of what your life would be when you get older? Well, I'm nowhere near that picture, nor am I even close to it. Makes me wonder if it'll ever come true. I look forward to the future, in achieving my goals, but at the same time, my future looks gloomy because I'm afraid that I'll be single for the rest of my life. This makes me more sad than not having a dog. No friends, and no significant other. I know some people my age who are still single too, but they've been dating others and have friends to hang with. So, their life seems more happier.
I don't have anyone to share my pain or concerns with~
totally fed up. ongoing issues with my husband that i cannot resolve alone. suppose to be going for a consultation for counselling tomorrow but i just dont feel there is any point. he has agreed to go but thinks we should sort things out ourselves. yet we are 3 years into issues and no resolve. he doesnt find time to talk with me, always always avoids talking. i am just constantly disrespected, not treated nice at all. yet cant talk to him about how he makes me feel because of his avoidance and excuses that we dont have the time. so i surpress my thoughts and feelings. ive been in medication for 4.5 months because of it. my head is spinning. whenever i do mention things to my husband he never takes accountability for his behaviour, instead he highlights how i am and blames me for distance. he regularly wants to be sexually intimate but because of the non sexual intimacy due to me feeling unsupported, not listened to... practically ignored, i am really struggling to connect and want to be near my husband at all. ive explained and explained this yet i am to blame in my husbands eyes. i feel like screaming. i am getting absolutely no where. today i asked my husband to ignore our daughters whining instead of jumping onto it at every opportunity, we went for a 20 minute walk, and all he did was have a go at our daughter. i said it would cause us to have words if he carried on. because i said that he has made out ive caused distance between us.
when we returned from our walk he went upstairs until the children
sometimes i want to be alone but i also desperately want a hug
@friendlyturtle27
I know the feeling. Ive been a loner for as long as I can remember and continue to be in many regards but Ive now understood the significance of having someone to physically give you comfort. I think as human beings we do crave that at some point in our lives despite some of us (like myself) being ones who also crave complete privacy.
If I could, Id give you the biggest hug humanly imaginable. For now, I hereby issue you a digital version.
I feel like I have an image to uphold on here. I always have good grammar in the groupchats and correct my spelling mistakes because I think that... I don't know what I think. If someone has a problem I feel obligated to try and help them, which makes me feel like I can't ask for help myself because when I hear about other people's problems I think I'm a wimp because my situation is good, compared to theirs.
@ReallyNotOkay
Something that Ive learned recently is that you should come as you truly are. Be yourself especially in an environment that encourages people to open up. No ones perfect to any extent so always keep that in mind. There will be no judging (at least from my end of the table).
Two rants one about my issues and the other about how i am so Very sick to death of hearing about bloody football very fed up of being the outsider when i see men with women whether friends or a couple makes me angry
thank god for this thread,
I've been in love with my best friend since october of last year and at first i didnt realize how much i loved her, i thought i was making it up in my head. she's the best person i've ever met and she's beautiful and funny and she's the only person i have in my life that i truely enjoy the company of. There's a problem however, i'm a girl, i'm a closeted bisexual (im still not sure though im not comfortable with the label) and i want to come out to her but im so afraid. coming out could risk our entire friendship, and my chances of ever pursuing her romanticly, and i dont want to lose her, even as a friend.
i dont know how she might react to me coming out, probably okay, she's my friend she should understand.
but telling her i love her would be a mistake.
however, she keeps giving me these hints that have made me doubt her heterosexuality. she has referenced potentially taking a guy OR GIRL out to eat at her favorite restaurant, she gives me weird looks when LGBTQ+ is mentioned, and she used to hold my hand under the table at lunch. this one (the hand holding thing) was a really big deal to me when it was happening, and she would just grab my hand and hold it or rub it gently and i loved it and it made me so happy. those were the best days, when i was just first realizing my feelings for her but i wasnt addressing them, and we would just hold hands and hug as friends. they ended however when others noticed and then she never did it again.
i have spent many lonely nights crying about her, and i see her hanging out with her other friends and doing things with them that she's never done with me or for me. she talks to them differently and laughs more when she's with them, but when she's with me she talks about them negatively like theyre a problem. it makes me wonder if she talks to her other friends about me the same way, and to me it feels like our friendship is in a way is...fading.
i dont want to lose her, even as a friend. if she's straight, thats fine i can deal with it, sure i'll be sad but atleast i'll still have her as a friend. however, if i lost her as a friend, i think i'd be absolutely devastated. she's made my life so much better and has helped me become the person i truely am and want to be (this is really sappy and cliche sorry)
i just dont know what to do
@emma1029
Im about to say something that I pray to God doesnt mess things up for you but its literally the first and only thing that immediately came to mind reading this. So.....here it is:
If she TRULY is your best friend who would love and care for you no matter what, then my advice would be to truly come out to her as honestly and (PLEASE KEEP THIS PART IN MIND) gently and respectfully as possible. Whatever you do, be an open book to her if you seriously deeply trust her friendship and care for you, but do so in a way that is gentle and thoughtful.
Remember that this isnt about getting her to romantically be with you at all. Its about getting to the bottom of your situation and understanding whats truly happening. Her reaction to your thoughts and feelings may surprise you. I wont lie. That sounds like a nerve wrecking situation, but it doesnt have to mean the end of the world.
Its actually the start of a new chapter even if it doesnt go down the way you might THINK it should. Life can be tricky in that way so Ive learned recently. Its not about what we want but what is needed to help us progress and evolve as individuals.
At the end of the day, its her continued friendship thats the most important thing ok? From what youve said, that seems to mean the world to you in a very positive way. Dont let your current emotions crowd that very important and beautiful component.
@emma1029
Another important thing that I didnt want to miss out on telling you....
Dont stew on it TOO long as brewing emotions such as the ones youre experiencing can lead to potential self destructive results. I want you to take a HUGE HUGE breather, relax, and comfortably meditate on everything that youre feeling and thinking. Try to understand your situation first before dumping it onto her and mistakinglu letting your emotions carry everything out.
Logic is hard sometimes to mix in with something like Love but one must understand that love is a very complex emotion. So please consider taking a nice breather before jumping to emotionally triggered decisions. Try breaking down the Whys with your sexuality and remember that no ones (definitely not me) is judging you.
I may not know you personally but I can tell you straight up that you have someone that WILL NOT look at you in any way negative regarding your sexual feelings towards anyone. I only encourage you to treat yourself and the person in question in a very careful manner with this situation.
I trust and pray that everything goes well.
@SaleemF
Thank you so much for your response, i think what you said was something i really needed to hear (or read).
I definetly dont want to dump everything on her, and my initial plan was to just come out (although in my mind that was close to impossible) then hope things might work out romanticly. i dont think i've ever really let myself sit down and think about my situation, everything in my life lately has been a blur.
i guess all i can do is just hope for the best and find the right time to actually come out, thank you :)
I ruined the best thing in my life because of jealousy and a compulsive action thats led to me being deeply ashamed, guilty and heartbroken. Easily the biggest, and most stupid mistake of my entire life.
So we were only seeing each other for a couple months but it was a whirlwind romance. I was absolutely crazy about her, Ive never had more chemistry with a girl before, I loved being around her so much and couldnt get enough of her, we had an unreal time together. She kept telling me how happy she was with me, that I made her heart pound, and she was talking about our future together.
A week ago she stopped messaging me, which was odd considering I usually 5-6 random messages a day from her. The day after on her social media profile I saw that her dog had died, so I offered my sympathies and she said she was going to spend some time with family. A few days later I asked how she was, no reply. I knew she was talking to and seeing her friends through posts on Facebook, and I found it odd how she still didnt want to talk to me. So I asked her if she was still interested in me, she said nothing has changed but she just wasnt in the right mindset because the loss really affected her mum who shes looking after, she told me to go ‘do my thing because we werent going to happen for ‘awhile. I said Id be there however much or little she needs, shes going through a rough time, everybody copes differently, OK.
And then a couple days after that I see that shes out with two of her male friends watching an outdoor film that we were supposed to see (it was my idea, she hadnt been to an outdoor cinema before) now I was overcome with jealousy, I didnt want to appear needy and message but I was also confused at how she cant see me but can see her guy friends doing something we planned to do. My mind was wandering and I was convinced she had just lost interest, I have been burned in the past when a girl confessed her love for me one day then ghosted me the next. I hated being stuck in a limbo stage of waiting for her to be ready as I was obsessing over her all day, checking her profile to see what she was up to, I couldn't focus on anything else, so I did something really stupid.
I messaged her saying that I was now seeing somebody else (lying) and had to remove her from all social media as it was unhealthy for me to have her on there still. I then blocked her from everything. It wasnt long before I was overcome with self-hatred, this girl was going through a really rough time, she probably did still like me and just needed space, and then I spring THAT on her. It had only been a week… What kind of scumbag does that? I sent her a couple texts to deeply apologise for the manner in which I acted and how it was a stupid jealousy/paranoia thing, to which she just told me how Ive made my point now.
I miss her like crazy, and I know it was only 2 months but when you know what you had was something really incredible then it still hurts. I still find it strange how she had no time for me but could still see her male friends. Did her actions really suggest a loss of interest? The horrible realisation is that its probably not the case, and I ended it for nothing.
This is the most stupid and heartless thing Ive ever done in my life and I would do anything to take it back, I feel the lowest I ever have, not only heartbroken but beside myself with guilt, shame and self-loathing. Ive apologised profusely to her, but I cant live with the pain Ive likely dumped on her in her time of need and for ruining the best thing in my life. This is going to haunt me for years as I wonder what if… I'm a piece of shit that deserves every bit of this pain I'm in right now. How can I forgive myself for this?
@jackdewar
Wait wait wait hold up, you can't possibly think that her behavior was normal. "Go do your thing"? Seriously? My wild guess is that she has coping issues of her own, causing her to draw away when she feels hurt. That being said, you obviously autosabotaged because of your own issues but there's really no sense in beating yourself up over it, you didn't do it with malice or with the intent to hurt her. If I where you I'd tell her very sincerely what you thought and why you reacted that, give her your most sincere apologies and tell her that you would still love to see her if one day she forgives you. Then just forget about it and don't start obsessing over it, consider it over. If eventually she contacts you then all the better if you will still be up to it.
@deepestWell Thank you it really helped me to see that my thoughts were not totally unfounded, even if my actions were bad. I've taken your suggestion and explained everything to her, I feel better and will try not to beat myself up over it too much. I appreciate it :)