You can rant here
I know how it feels sometimes when you just want to rant, but don't know who to talk too or even if they will care. Well I care. You're not alone! Please feel free to say whats been on your mind lately, if you want someone to talk too or just want to rant away. I will listen.
I hate my job, I hate how it makes me feel. I hate how I dread going every day. I hate how I am treated.
I loathe the fact they are in 100% control of my life. I have zero avenues of getting out from under their draconian thumb, aside from suicide. They steal all my time, lie to me about having a future, yet treat me like I am worthless and speak to me like I am an invalid.
I am unable to quit as I am disabled, so unemployable. I have zero time to learn skills that will make me employable because I am working 80+ hours a week. I am literally in a menagerie. If I quit, I could and likely would lose my home and be on the street. I bring this up, and I am ridiculed, called lazy and at fault for the overtime. I bring up I am exhausted, and I am laughed at.
Suicide is more appealing than working here for the next 30+ years. Compared to this, hell ain't a bad place to be.
@conscientiousNectarine4683
I also abhore how I must put on a fascade of arrogance, and conceit to fend off the daily gaslight attacks by my boss.
Just tired of living like this . It's been 5 years now . How long can I continue to take all this ?
Keep moving and you’ll find the answer
I was diagnosed with depression 4 years ago and it was pretty bad. I was on antidepressants and it was difficult for me and my whole family. I honestly thought I had dealt with it all until the quarantine, its hard to ignore thoughts when thats all you really have. All I do is overthink now. For example, my thought process goes from feeling sad, wondering why I feel sad, am I seeking attention, am I lying, am I manipulative, wouldn't I have to tell somone i feel sad in order to be manipulative, what if I'm just playing a long game, but Im sad and I can get out of bed or shower, and it all just repeats. I dont even know if my feelings are real. I get angry and irritated of the smallest things. If someone chews too loud or licks their fingers I want to scream and yell to the point I cry. I also realized I have never felt truly beautiful in my life. I'm 18 and I've never been kissed or had a real boyfriend. I know self esteem comes from within, but its hard when you feel unlovable. I am very anxious and the pandemic has made it worse. Before I could atleast talk to cashiers, but now that causes me stress to the point I feel a panic attack coming on. I am scared for life to go back to the way it was because I don't think I'll be able to function. I don't know how to reach out or say I think I might need help cuz i don't even know if its real?
Maybe you are taking a wrong med. talk about this problem with your doctor later.
Currently crying myself to sleep cuz I’m scared of waking up and realizing life passed me by while I’m not living my life cuz of fear. Every time amazing things in my life happen I get worse. I hate myself. I don’t know why I can’t just be happy. I wish I could back to being a kid, just feel utter joy just one more time. I swear I try, I try so hard, but it just feels pointless sometimes. I feel I will never achieve the goals I want to achieve. I feel like an utter disappointment and I’m scared that will never change.
I can't figure out if I push all my friends away through awful & selfish behaviors because I'm a maladjusted only child with depression and anxiety who... either gets too attached, then doesn't trust the friendship will last anyway. Or, if I do it because I genuinely enjoy it when I'm alone. I feel so much less anxiety when I can isolate, as everyone warns against. Maybe my reasons are because I know I'm an awful friend, always have been since childhood, and I know I'm gonna end up alone anyway so I'm prepping myself. Pathetic.
Just having a low day. Pit in my stomach and on the verge of tears. I feel utterly defeated. Like I'm stuck on the beltline with no exit ramp on the map. And the lonliness is overwhelming. We can't make others change and here I am in a marriage in which my husband can't seem to understand how damaged I feel from his mental and emotional assaults from past years. All he thinks about is himself and how he doesn't get what he wants. I've conceded as much as I can live with. I've given myself over for 19 years. Now, I have two small children and I feel stuck. I feel lonely. I can't focus on the good things, because my anxiety is so high. I keep remembering how dead I felt inside. Every look or inflection in his voice reminds me of the disconnect between us. I keep telling myself I'm lucky. My situation is not bad. It could/would be worse if I walked away. It would hurt numerous people. I should just buck up and live this life as best I can within the situation. Even if I don't really exist.
@suzanne1979 I hope you don't mind - I'm sorry you're going through this. It would be incredibily hard - especially with young children. I can understand why walking away would only make it worse because there are other's involved that would be hurt. You shouldn't have to suffer in silence but I imagine any attempt to talk with him would only make things worse. :(
* sending you good vibes and peace *
All this is so tiring . Every single day I have to deal with the shitty thoughts that my mind constantly produces . I try my best to ignore them and just observe them , but I ain't a monk and eventually all this gets to me .
:(.
Yeah, that's normal- that things get to you. Don't go hard on yourself for that. whatever it is hurting you, it's not your fault. brain chemistry is a powerfull thing. I feel for you, and hope things get better for you. Best wishes, and please just emagien a really cute squid hugging you in my place. Good luck out there.
My sister has been living with me for 9 months & she is a recovering addict. I stress and worry about her sobriety every single day. I wonder if she is lying to me when things seem off.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 4-5 years now and have 1 child. Our relationship has been strained since the child & our son has been favoring dad and avoiding me. It really makes me feel low and depressed
I've been feeling extremely lonely lately, and I feel like no one really cares about me anymore I just wish someone made me feel like it's worth to keep on living...
I hate life. I don't even want to get better anymore. I want to fucking die. Kill me.
Please don’t.
