My Experiences of Loneliness
Hi everyone! My name is Sya. You might have seen me around this forum. I bring up my sharing today to fill our times here so feel free to continue reading.
My life has not been something that pleasant me the most. I've always been on a rocky paths. Even my chilhood years were not as exciting and as memorable as everyone else had. I'm rather an introvert person. I have only brothers for my siblings and with that said I'm the only daughter in the house. I have a hard time getting along with my family since my parents always busy due to works and big age gaps between my brothers.
At school, I had a hard time getting along with others and making new friends. Even if I had problems, I tend to keep it all to myself because eventhough I was still a child at that time, I was well awared that my parents were exhausted from works. Reaching out to my siblings seemed impossible since I barely talked to them.
Time flies fast. Life thought me a thing and another. It hit me hard when I realized that I'd been lonely for a long time. Not going to lie, sometimes loneliness love to hit me out of nowhere. Most of the time, I found myself crying in a private space because I feel really lonely. Socializing was really a struggle for me not to mention being vulnerable. Although I even had an achievement that I was eager to share, I just kept it alone after realizing I had no one to talk to.
My personality is pretty different from others as well. My mom keep bragging me to change my personality and have same interest like others. I felt like I was not understood and supported by my family members. I'd been in romantic relationships too. I felt pity for my ex to accept me in that state,lost and hopeless.Our relationship didn't last long after that. I respected his decisions to leave but I never knew how lonely and sad I was to get over it.
Coping with loneliness is something that I'm still trying my best. Yeah, I know it's not as easy as it said but there's nobody will gonna do it for you. A small step like talking to my pets make me less lonely. They are the creature which could bring my smile like always. I have a few closed friends that I treasure the most so I always check up on them and have a little chit-chats and it works on me. Sometimes I listen to relatable musics to calm myself and boost my moods. And about my family, I've been trying to engage conversations with them even if it is a small chats. A small effort still counts.
Why do I share you my experiences? Well, it's because I want you to know that you're not alone in this fight. Maybe our struggles are differents but it doesn't mean that you're efforts and emotions shouldn't be recognized and aren't valid. You're still you and special in the way you are. Remember that every good thing takes its own time to come. Patience is a beautiful act of kindness we could do to ourselves and I really believe in you.
~What are hurdles that you've been through or currently facing to overcome your loneliness? Feel free to share your experiences with us :) ~
( For the one who's been reading until the very end of this thread, I want to thank you so much and appreciate your time reading this :D )
Your post made me cry. I felt like I wrote that. I can really relate with most of the things you mentioned, in fact, it hit me straight in my heart. I have also been dealing with loneliness since childhood due to educational neglect I spent most of my days at home being improperly homeschooled online with just a computer to teach me, you would think that at least I could have a real human being teacher that would teach me online but nope I had to learn on my own, I was really alone most of the time, and my family would move to different houses often so I did not get to build friendships. I have been depressed and lonely for the longest time since birth due to parental neglect. I lived with my family but we lived abnormally, we hardly celebrated any holidays, birthdays, they didn’t put me in school etc. Basically you can say that I have been in quarantine all the time. And it breaks my heart when people make a fuss about how lonely they are during the pandemic when I’ve basically been living in quarantine my whole life. Now I am in college and I study online, I don’t have many options but to study online. Everyday I am in pain I am hurt I am lonely I cry so much. I don’t know what I am doing with my life. I know that it’s bad to go on apps to meet random people in person but I am that desperate at this point and I believe that there is more danger to me being alone than it is to meet strangers. I hope someone here reads all this and spares the time to reply. I am dying for attention. I really need attention.
I'm sorry to hear that your childhood life had been so tough. It does sound like an isolated quarantine-type of living, nothing compared to the current pandemic situation. In my childhood, although I lived with my parents and older brother, I've never felt I belonged/existed. I only saw my parents mainly on weekends, as they both worked Monday - Friday. So I'd only see them at breakfast and dinner. I encountered many trauma as a kid, and I couldn't tell anyone about it. Many of which still affects me today to some extent. Our family situation hasn't changed much, except both my parents are now retired, brother just came out of a divorce a year ago and moved back home. It's like back to square one, because of the past traumas, I'm still unable to fully open-up to my family. With that being said, I still suffer from my depression with no family/friends support. Some days are tougher than others. In the last 5 years, I've felt the most loneliness around the time of my birthday. My mood obviously goes really low for about 2 months (a few weeks before and after my birthday), because it is during this time, where I realize that I'm still friendless, getting older (making myself worried that I'll never meet my partner), feeling lonely, and that my depression is still the same.
My desperateness of wanting a friend or partner leads to me fantasizing about being friends with actors (I've been watching a lot of China dramas). The fantasy is usually about having travelled to China, with the purpose of my career change, and coincidentally meeting those actors and becoming friends with them. At times, I'd even dream about being in a relationship with them. This is the same as how the saying goes, "what you think about during the day, you dream of it at night". I have an older "sister" that I've told her about wanting to have a partner. She keeps telling me that it will happen when I least expect it. So, I guess it won't happen because of my desperateness of wanting to be in a relationship. With the current situation, it is difficult to meet anybody new. Since everyone is just staying home or going to work.
I've recently went back to school last fall, in hopes to have a career change after I finish the Diploma. I'm currently not a permanent staff at the hospital, so I only work shifts covering vacation time of 3 other permanent staff. It's usually the summer months where I'd get most of the shifts, it quiets down from September - April. I'm glad I've decided to go back to school, especially during the current situation, I'm able to take the courses online, I can continue to work; and keep myself busy during days I don't have work~
@quickwittedNest5808
Thank you! I encourage you to watch this message. It is long, so watch only when you have time! You're not alone! https://youtu.be/QfEESKVszGQ
You're welcome. Thanks for reading too. I will make sure that I will watch your recommendation.
Hi yayy I am also suffering from this state feeling alone no friends at high school its just too lonely I can't even explain it how much I feel lonely sitting aside doing nothing but seeing people around me who are making bunch of friends. They enjoy all the time. And me sitting still at one side doing nothing but seeing them.😶it's just too difficult 😢
@Umero456 I'm so sorry to hear that. I wish things will get for you. Do you have tried to befriend someone there?
Can we make friends with people here on 7 cups? I didn’t think we could.. I’m new here
I recently moved about 3 years and I haven’t been able to make friends and I had a great job I really loved up until last year cause of the virius and now I’m going through depression staying hone eating a lot I put on so much weight. The few things that have been helping is music and going to see my new niece of 2 months. I’ve been looking for places just to talk to people who are going through the same things and feelings as me.