How to deal with disinterest in everything?
Don't know if this has already been asked on here, but lately nothing seems worth doing. Its reached the point where I'm starting to sleep most of my day away cause nothing else seems to matter. I don't want to be like this. I wasn't always like this. Is there a way to pull out of it?
@TabbyPhoenix I'm sorry to hear you have been feeling this way. Loss of interest in things and sleeping a lot are symptoms of depression. If you are concerned about how you have been feeling lately, maybe talking to a doctor or therapist can help. 7 cups has online therapists and self help guides that you could try. Feel free to send me or any other listener a message if you need to talk. Take care.
@TabbyPhoenix, that is one of the most common symptoms of depression, and I'm sorry to hear that you're getting swallowed by it. It's not fun being stripped away from your personality by this disorder.
In my experience disinterests slowly disappears with the progress of the recovery, so I always had to wait months while following the treatment and my "bring Celaeno back to life" plan to be able to feel curious and active again. I don't know any grand shortcut for that, unfortunately. But I also find that in such times of numbness chosing one and only one activity to do every day distracted me enough and saved me to get through the darkness. Even if you don't feel interested in it or gain any feeling of pleasure, it can still serve as your anchor and substitute for your past passions. It is kind of a filler for your current situation, which you perform daily, as many times you want/can. But don't choose something you think you "should" do with your time - pick something which is convenient and painless for you right now. Also, choose only one thing, because you don't have too much energy to begin with.
I had many various "anchors", sometimes they intertwined, so now when I think about each of my major depressive episodes I've had in the past, all of them has its own "theme" to me ^^; There was a Depression of Reading Stephen Fry / Comics / Manga and of Painting Things / Writing in the journal, and also quite a lot of Watching Hitchcock / Anime / Costume Dramas / Sitcoms / Ted Talks, and of course of 7 Cups.
It worked when I had suicidal and self-harm urges, and also when I was in some kind of states of stupors, but I never talked about this concept with someone else, so I don't know if it can even be helpful for others. Let me know what do you think about it.
Sending all of my love to you, my friend! You're not alone in this battle.
*hugs tightly*
@Celaeno I know this was a while ago, but I was thinking about it again because this is the aspect of my depression I struggle with the most. My thing is that, while I have managed to find solutions to the other symptoms of my depression, I still kind of feel empty. It feels like I ripped all these parts of me away to survive and now its like the old pieces don't fit anymore but I haven't figured out how to pick up new ones. Does that make sense? Like I want to find a creative outlet that fills me with joy and relief, like I remember my old outlets doing in the past, but the old ones don't anymore and that just leaves me not knowing where to turn. It's frustrating. I just end up spending a good portion of my day (when not distracted by work/responsibilities, socialization, or media) sitting around and staring into space trying to figure out how to be creative again.
@TabbyPhoenix, yeah, this feeling of hollowness is really unsettling for me, and it absolutely does make sense. It's like you've done so much to push yourself through recovery, but there is nothing waiting for you on the other side of depression. It's really hard not to feel robbed of your old life. Still I think it is all because you are a different person now.
After weeks or months of the struggle the physical, when our whole being was focused on surviving and not on the "idle" activities, the mind isn't the same anymore. I tend to explain that to myself that it is linked with the connections between synapses in our brains which are lost when not used. We all have to accept that in some degree. It doesn't mean of course that you can't rebuild those connections again or create new ones.
Picking up old activities can bring the lost pleasure, but sometimes it simply doesn't. And that's okay - there is plenty of other creative outlets for you to try out. And the old hobby can return to you unexpectedly though, in months or even years, you never know. I've lost any pleasure from reading for two straight years which for the avid reader like myself really struck into the core of my identity. I just had to accept that and after all of this time I slowly tried to reintroduce myself to books - firstly I switch to comics and graphic novels, then to some longer articles, and then for full novels. All of this is a process and I have this quiet belief that nothing is really lost. Even if the certain hobbies don't bring you joy anymore, you can found some similar activity to it. And even if you don't, past experiences are still valid and precious. It still builds your life, only not the current version of it.
But don't force yourself, lovely, to enjoy something when you clearly don't. You've changed, your interests have changed and maybe something completely new will catch your eye. In my own personal experience after some time from recovery I will have a natural urge to do something, to try out something - e.g. learn how to do origami when in my whole life I wasn't interested in that at all ^^; Or write in a journal. Or try to make and edit movies.
I know that you may feel discouraged and that my post maybe not helpful at all, but know that it isn't your fault at all. If you want to do a little research and found something to do, go for it. Give yourself a chance to find your new outlet. But if you don't feel this urge, maybe there's a different reason here. There is also always an option that one's depression turned into acute dysthymia and you still have to address that with some kind of therapy (whichever are comfortable and works for you). Of course I don't have any knowledge about that, but know that I'm here for you, my wonderful, kind and smart friend. I'm always happy to see a message from you, even if it's about challenging or painful issues. Sending all of my love to you!
*hugs*
@Celaeno I've been trying to not worry too much about it. I just keep trying to focus on the basics. I just need to eat this meal. I just need to do this run. I just need to go to work. I keep thinking once I'm physically healthier and stronger that my mental stability will come with it.
But honestly I probably do have dysthymia. I have a genetic predisposition to mental illness from my family. My earliest symptoms were from when I was around 12 and I would spend days upon weeks just laying in bed just playing the same game on the comp, not showering or eating much. I didn't recognize that as strange behavior as I was 12 and had nothing to compare it to, but as I got older, got worse, and reached out for a little help on here and started to understand really what mental illness looks like, I've been sick a long time. Knowing that has made it harder for me, and it's probably why I've struggled with the recovery. My symptoms aren't as bad as they've been, but I also don't know any different. I don't know how to be any different. Its like building without a foundation, like if I can't even fathom normal brain functioning how do I emulate it?
My fiancée keeps encouraging me to get on medicine for that reason (and I was) but I don't want to be dependent on something like that. I feel like I should be able to learn how to function without needing daily chemicals. I've just had a hard to convincing myself that needing medicine is okay. I'll tell other people all day to take medicine if you need to and don't feel ashamed! But I can't turn it to myself. I just can't do it. It feels fake and it feels... Weird. When I was on medicine everything was too much. Like imagine seeing everything gray and you get handed glasses that show you color, those colors would be OVERWHELMING. I don't know how to, deal with it? Gosh sorry I'm rambling, I might try to shorten this.
tl;dr: I probably still need medicine but I'm scared of what that means for me and I'm scared of all the feelings that come when I take medicine.
@TabbyPhoenix, you don't ramble, lovely - there is a lot on your mind and I'm glad that you are willing to share. I wrote to you some time ago how ashamed I felt when I started taking meds for the first time as a part of my treatment and I still agree with that post. I also have before me pages from my personal journal from this period and there are plenty of passages where I described the world on meds as a fake one, that everything looks almost plastic, because it is so bright, so vivid.
The thing is that meds aren't at fault for this sensation. They are not creating an artificial sensation for us, the world itself isn't fake - it is only a matter of our own perception. It can be compared to the living in the deep cave for months and then suddenly emerging from it during the middle of the summer - of course everything seems uncomfortable bright. When the only thing to be known was darkness, you have to give yourself time to transition and to adjust. And it can be scary to live under the Sun all of the sudden. I've certainly have problems with that, because just like you I had depression from the early childhood, but we all have ability to learn. You can build your foundation any day, and being a long-time member of this community seems to me like some already established grounds. You have your support network, you are not alone, lovely.
And you don't depend on meds, lovely, or rather you depend it like you depend on the ladder when you are trying to get out of the hole. It's not your fault that you are too short to escape - you can only accept the distance, grab the most apt tool and get moving ^^; When you get better, you stop taking meds, lovely - it's really only like that. You won't take them for the rest of your life. No one forces people to accept the pain of broken leg and simply adjust to the "discomfort". We give them painkillers for a certain period of time and mend their poor body. And they are not any weaker, because they have to get something for the unbearable pain, they are not worse. The only thing which matters is their health.
Focusing on the basic is a great strategy, but in the long-term it can feel exhausting, especially if you feel it limits your life. Taking care of your body is equally important as taking care of your mind and smart people already proved the celebration between them exists. But sometimes focusing only on one side isn't enough. Your therapy is your own right and responsibility - no one can force you, not even your SO, to do what doesn't feel comfortable. And, what we sometimes forget, any kind of recovery is unpleasant and unsettling. This is a painful, excruciating and a long-term process, and many people just don't want to experience that. But we do it, because we often feel that the current pain is more unbearable than the prospect of the recovery itself. That we deserve better, that in the end it is a rewarding journey, worth the struggle. Only you can decide what is best for you, what is your situation and conviction.
I firmly believe no one deserves the depression. This is an illness and it is a cruel one. No one should suffer from it in times when we have tools and possibilities to treat it. I don't want to convince, because I have no idea if meds are the right kind of therapy for you, lovely. Maybe your experience is a warning sign there were a wrong type for you or that the dose was too high, I really don't know. But I'm proud of you, because I know you're doing your best, and questioning things to create the quality of life you deserve.
*hugs*
@TabbyPhoenix
I can relate to so many things you have said in this thread. I am also really struggling with lack of interest in everything I used to love. I have been buying craft supplies and checking out library books and voraciously pinning on Pinterest to try to tempt myself back into being creative, but when it gets down to actually DOING the stuff, I just can't make myself. If you'd ever like to chat further about this, I'm happy to listen.
@TabbyPhoenix A few years back I struggled with the same problem, and the thing with creativity is you can't just have someone tell you what to do. The most I can help with are suggestions, try sketching or drawing some of the things you used to, or maybe something that started your depression. Try to work your way around your memories, and although you may never carry the same interests, you can still develop new ones. Sketch the highlights or the worst parts of your day, get in the habit of doodling, write down anything that sparks even the slightest bit of interest. Don't stare at the wall, do anything else, plan meals, study for a test, exercise, write a story.
@TabbyPhoenix
We all feel this way when depression caught us. Things can be hard to do. Just keep in mind every single steps you take is important, and encourage yourself continue do so. :D Tell yourself "good job"! Once you accpmplish a little step. :D
I'm really struggling with this right now. I can't find the motivation to do anything at all, no matter how hard I try. I don't think I've moved out of my bed or spoken to anybody properly in about 3 weeks now. I feel like I've tried everything. I don't know what to do anymore.
@TabbyPhoenix
Hello there
It sounds a lot like common symptoms of depression although we can't be sure of it. In my opinion I think it's better to seek professional help regarding this. We have our own therapist community in 7 cups of tea. You could check it to that or try some another therapist to figure out the reason.
Best of luck
@TabbyPhoenix I'm so sorry you're dealing with this. Loss of interest is one of the major symptoms of depression. Have you thought looking up interesting things online or actually looking for some diy on pinterest or something like that to keep you a bit - not bored? I mean - that's what I do...
Hi x It gets really hard at times, people give you good advice, like exercise, which is good advice, but sometimes just to get out of bed seems exhausting...
People ask what I do for fun, i said to someone earlier, I haven't experienced fun for a long time, I actually can't remember, it's like life is a chore to get through the day, something you have to do. I really want this year to be different.....🌸🌸🌸🌸
I was like this too, even getting out of bed to make food was a chore to do. I would litterally posted sticky notes, posters, and created drawings to hang up everywhere to remind me to keep going. I thought it wasn't going to help, but for some odd reason it did.
@TabbyPhoenix I feel the same way a lot of the time right now. With all the terrible things happening in the world, it seems like nothing positive seems to be happening at all.
The main piece of advice I can give you is just to get out of the house and do something. Some ideas are to take a notebook and just start journaling outside on a park bench or at a coffee shop. Another thing to do is to read a book, not on something possibly stress inducing like how to change, but on something light and easy to read, like a story.
Finding new interests is difficult. I struggle with it every day. It's as simple as trying new things. You won't know if you like something until you try it.
Hope that helps :)
I have a disinterest in stress and my dad and my body and weight and of course my disinterest id like to improve on my weight lose.weight fast and eat.healthier I will.work on
@dhabib You can do it. We believe in you!
