Disabilities and Stigma Forum Discussion
heyy all sorry my next topic took so long to tget posted was trying to decide which one to do so ive chosen this one since we get tons of stigma thrown our way.
Everyone is welcome to participate ill form a taglist based on who replies and joins in
Also ill post a new question every 2-4 days or so to give people time to respond
Lets begin with an icebreaker shall we
ICEBREAKER
What place in the world would you like to visit?
That we can JUST get over Phyiscal Health , we are not REALLY THAT sick ... or we bring it on ourselves..
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 ive heard those ones too some aimed at me its awful
@CaringBrit I am so sorry you have also.. 
@Tyedyedbutterfly65 thanks
i think its great that this thread exists!
@peachkitty glad you think so xd
chronic illness/disability
i know some people assume that for disability you're just not trying hard enough/are lazy, especially for mental ones like ADHD.
For physical ones like incontinence there can be huge stigmas against that, especially in high school and elementary school where it's a sign of cowardice or weirdness or overall something to be ashamed of, even though a physical problem shouldn't say anything about the person as an individual.
for women there's a stigma about pms that if you're whining about pain that you're being a baby about it, even though 1/10 women will have endometriosis and have it be a lot more painful than others have it but may not get it checked out because of the stigma about women being emotionally crazy and fussy about mild pain around that time. I guess this isn't as much of a stigma about chronic illness but more like a stigma that makes it hard to diagnose a chronic illness.
There's a huge stigma about learning disabilities meaning stupidity. A friend of mine refuses to get accommodations because he hates the stigma. For me, this stigma was so strong that my highschool actually refused to test me for a disability because my grades were too high. I couldn't get accepted into universities because of this stigma because i did awful on the timed ACT and SAT. After retaking it with more time, i was in the top 95% in math and 98% in science and not needing remedial classes like it said before.
@ReclusiveReptile i understand that too reclusive thats awful how you got treated
our next q then everyone sorry for the long wait
New participants are welcome to join in
Why do you believe that people use stigmas to label people with disabilities?
@creativeOak9590 @purpleHeart16 @RaspberryCup8692 @TheLifeOfKelli @finnthewaffle @1Marg1 @sympatheticNorth2026 @Leeshalyn @GusteeMoon123 @Emily1256 @warmheartedSoul77 @kindSoul10 @TransAm85 @Darkseed @Emily619 @Antares127 @ThisIs543 @JoyIntoDarkness @ReclusiveReptile @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @AffyAvo @peachkitty
I believe there generally isnt any mallace involved in a lot of it. Most of it is from lack of understanding. If all a person sees is a person struggling to read a simple book they may make harsh assumptions that they're stupid and associste the word stupid with whatever disability they say they have. Then the next time they see someone with that disability they think stupid, and may never look up what the disability is, how they struggle, what they do to compensate for it already, what simply isn't possible for that person, ect. It's especially easy for these stigmas to pop up in elementary school where the overall message is fit in with "normal" and make fun of the others or be the one made fun of. Sometimes the stigmas become more silent since the childish reactions go away, but the thoughts of the group don't always go away if they never make an effort to learn more. Personally, I denied the possibility of having a learning disability for the longest time because of that stigma. I practiced twice as hard and would nemorize all i could for tests and always got 100% while finishing right at the end when others finished in the first 10 mins. But, nobody could call me stupid for being slow if I was better than everyone through effort. As requirements got harder and algebra became longer teachers started letting me finish during lunch, which is when I started seeking documentation because I'd fail timed tests in college without it.
@reclusivereptile
I don't even think there was any ill intentions involved in them sending me back a refusal to my formal request for disability testing. They assumed someone with good grades can't possibly be struggling since generally only kids with Fs and Ds would generally start seeking help and slower class pacing. They didn't know how much my teachers were taking out of their own time to keep me from failing and being in that group with half a test unfinished. They probably just assumed an A student was trying to get an easy ride through high school with easier classes, which is sad because I've known others who have done that. oh well. community college for 2 years has been a shorter commute than university anyway.
@ReclusiveReptile yes so lack of knowledge certainly is the main reason here for sure
@ReclusiveReptile thanks for sharing. I can relate. :)
So lacking of understanding and sometimes misconceptions can make it harder to cope with the disability. Sometimes it can push us to work much harder to fit in and at some point we might go to the top. However it can break people at some point and make them look bad/lazy when others don't understand how much effort people with disabilities had to navigate in an able-bodied society.
@kindSoul10 great response soul i agree
@CaringBrit Ignorance, our natural bias to downplaying others' struggles compared to our own, also it can be difficult to acknowledge the difficulties that people go through. It can be easier to place blame on them thne to recognize how unfair the world can be. Idealizing certain aspects when they aren't that good.
@AffyAvo ignorance defo plays a part for sure
@CaringBrit
Why do you believe that people use stigmas to label people with disabilities?
I think that people use stigmas to label people with disabilities because they don't really understand. I think there is an underlying resentment that disabled people are not more productive, and I think people are just too busy to really think about how shallow their labels may actually be, compared to reality.
@1Marg1 true they dont really understand for sure so its mainly alot of mis information
@CaringBrit
Why do you believe that people use stigmas to label people with disabilities?
So folks fit in a box so they know how to deal with those and if someone doesn't fit in that box they aren't sure what to do about the situation.
@DanaMH very true point for sure i agree
@CaringBrit
There are so many ... It‘s really annoying!
I have an autoimmune disease that causes my joints to become chronically inflamed.
It starts when I go to school in the morning, (our school is anything but disabled friendly and I can not walk properly), I get two minutes late because I fought at the stairs and then they say I would use my illness as an excuse!
Then they will not let me do anything, even if I'm okay at the time. I am not a baby and I can carry my books by my own thank you!
The worst are the missing days. I could not attend school for 4 months, because I had very severe problems with my illness and was in the hospital and now everyone wants to downgrade me. But I still one of the best students in class, though I not as good as usually, but I'm not bad! I wanted to skip a class, I will certainly not repeat the things, which I found boring the first time! Not everyone is the same.
But the psychologists are definitely the worst! They make me damn angry! Constantly they want to give me therapy, I'm sick not crazy thanks! They postpone everything to my phsye, despite I have a real diagnosis but I guess that doesnt matter to them . Its like bevore I get the diagnosis, every damn doctor would tell me Im crazy till it got so bad, that I could walke or hold anything for 3month. It was so hard to get them to believe me, I need no phsychologist who break all this!
@dreamMelody27 oh no thats sounds frustrating the way you were treated
@dreamMelody27 I understand how this made you feel angry. It takes lots of effort to make people understand what's going on. I'm glad you didn't give up! It's worth it!
@kindSoul10
thank you so much!
@dreamMelody27 it's really brave of you to keep going to school like that. I've known people with far less severe problems who gave up on the difficulties of high school in favor of home schooling. It could be a good solution, though, if they try to make you repeat classes. it could be a good way to still be able to get ahead, too, since even if you're in a hospital bed, if you feel up to it you could pull up a laptop or workbook and finish a few pages. I totally know what you mean, though, about being bored in class. High school is so inefficient when it comes to teaching people.
But overall I really want to just give you a hug to try to make things feel better since it sounds like a very difficult and upsetting situation to be in
@ReclusiveReptile
thank you so much! I appreciate your words (: I dont know if homeschool is possible for me since I live in Germany but I will do research on that topic.
Paris, France.
I abdolutely adore art, so I would go see the Louvre in Paris.
@peachkitty Paris and the Louvre are exciting!
next q then everyone im going to ask the next 2 together because they go together
New participants always welcome
if your tagged and wish to be removed please pm me too
Do stigmas affect how you think about yourself and your chronic illness/disability? If yes, in what ways?
@creativeOak9590 @purpleHeart16 @RaspberryCup8692 @TheLifeOfKelli @finnthewaffle @1Marg1 @sympatheticNorth2026 @Leeshalyn @GusteeMoon123 @Emily1256 @warmheartedSoul77 @kindSoul10 @TransAm85 @Darkseed @Emily619 @Antares127 @ThisIs543 @JoyIntoDarkness @ReclusiveReptile @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @AffyAvo @peachkitty @dreamMelody27
@CaringBrit
Sigma can create exclusion and makes victims feel more vulnerable and negative.
@CaringBrit stigma taught me that i am nothing but a degenerate meant to be in a school sh**ter meme.
@peachkitty aww no peach thats awful and you definetly are worth more
@CaringBrit
Yea. It makes me feel bad, like Im a freak, a worthless abomination, nothing than a useless burden. I know its not true but if you already struggle with a lot of shi**** things in your life, Stigmas can make the situation even worse, living without them is hard enough!
I try not to let it. Like, after all the times I've failed to know who people are when they come up knowing who i am at the mall or wherever it makes me realize how few people I can potentially know and remember if i can't recognize faces, so the stigma that not recognizing/remembering someone means i don't like them or that i didn't see them as worth remembering is really upsetting and makes me feel like a mean person for a cognitive issue. As for the learning disability, I've spent my whole academic life proving myself so that i can't be called stupid, though internally i still feel stupid at times like I'm hiding some secret by masking the stupid with effort. And with my more embarrassing issues like dermatillomania and incontinence, most of the time I'm so scared of the potential stigma that i don't tell anyone at all, which can hurt because then I'm assuming friends will judge or look at me different when they might not, but they also might. Most of my disabilities are internal so I can hide the symptoms fairly well, but the fact that i feel like i need to hide aspects of myself to avoid judgement shows how i see these parts of myself. atm my boyfriend is the only irl person who knows all of them, and him calling them quirks makes it easier to not think as much of the stigmas and focus more on trying my best and forgiving shortcomings. I want to tell more people, but it's just so scary admitting certain things, hence why I'm starting here.
@CaringBrit
Do stigmas affect how you think about yourself and your chronic illness/disability? If yes, in what ways?
I often feel that I do not do enough, that I am not as valuable as a person because I have a disability. I often wish I had a chance to get out of poverty and make a mark in the world or so have nicer things like a car and not have to ride the bus or nicer house. I feel beaten down and I feel there is really not much opportunity to improve your status in life once you are disabled.
ccing @Monbon can you delete the duplicate post of mine at bottom ik i could just edit it but id rather have it deleted
@CaringBrit
Sure thing Brit!
@MonBon ty keeps it tidy
next q then all new participants are welcome
this one was supposed to be posted with the last one oops im going to post 2 questions together
How can we rise above these feelings?
Do you know of any coping methods to help overcome the feeling of stigma?
@creativeOak9590 @purpleHeart16 @RaspberryCup8692 @TheLifeOfKelli @finnthewaffle @1Marg1 @sympatheticNorth2026 @Leeshalyn @GusteeMoon123 @Emily1256 @warmheartedSoul77 @kindSoul10 @TransAm85 @Darkseed @Emily619 @Antares127 @ThisIs543 @JoyIntoDarkness @ReclusiveReptile @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @AffyAvo @peachkitty @dreamMelody27
@CaringBrit
There's always gonna be stigmas and stereotyping in the world and you just shouldn't let it affect you be like YOLO the only reason people don't understand is because they are not knowledgeable and if I need to cope with how stigmas make you feel I personally would just become flippant about it... Cause ive got enough to worry about so don't need that too xD
@JoyIntoDarkness i agree there joy stigma is hard to just ignore for many though so if you were one of those that found it difficult what about the above 2 questions then
@CaringBrit
Idk if just force myself to do the above weather my mind agrees or not .... Sorry ...
@JoyIntoDarkness aww its fine
@CaringBrit Some things we can rise above - leave if some people won't listen to remove their ignorance, find options that are more accepting. Other things that really affect access to vital things though - that is much harder to cope with.
@AffyAvo yes some things we can ride above for sure
Well, my main default coping method probably isn't a good one, and that's to pretend there's nothing that I struggle with. If people don't know I have incontinence or a processing disorder or face blindness they can't judge for it, but this becomes more damaging in the long run because hiding inconvenience from extended family during visits and pretending I know who someone is until I get a better cue as to who they are or pretending I know what's going on until my brain can catch up with input may all prevent people from holding stigmas against me, but then I'm constantly holding stigmas against myself. For me, the only way I can rise above these feelings is to open up more about it. Yes, they may look at me weird when i try to explain dermatillomania or prosopagnosia and yes they may either accuse me of lying when i say i have a learning disability or think I do bad in school/am stupid, but I feel more comfortable with myself as a person... that is, when i can muster the courage to talk about it.
If i can teach someone something new about things i go through, they can help me out more where I struggle and it can help debunk stigmas.
Though for myself my struggles are generally concealable, like physical internal pain that doesn't affect mobility, mental isssues I can keep hidden by not saying anything, and nighttime inconsistent issues, so my experiences with stigma are different than those with visible disabilities.
@ReclusiveReptile great post on how you can rise above it ty for sharing also you might get faced with all those things by opening up but at least you did it for you and to educate them in the process with time they may realise their bad reactions were wrong
@CaringBrit
How can we rise above these feelings?
Do you know of any coping methods to help overcome the feeling of stigma?
I often tell my self that it does not matter if I am in poverty and that I am valuable as a person. On a good day, I believe it, on a bad day it is a little harder. Sometimes I feel angry. I don't know many coping mechanisms. I avoid people that make me feel bad, and I sometimes use affirmations or guided meditations.
@1Marg1 those are great coping methods voiding toxic people is what i do too we dont need negativity at all
our next q then everyone all new participants are still welcome to join in
In what ways can we help to stop stigmas surrounding disabilities?
In what ways can are we able to educate people and learn them about different disabilities?
@creativeOak9590 @purpleHeart16 @RaspberryCup8692 @TheLifeOfKelli @finnthewaffle @1Marg1 @sympatheticNorth2026 @Leeshalyn @GusteeMoon123 @Emily1256 @warmheartedSoul77 @kindSoul10 @TransAm85 @Darkseed @Emily619 @Antares127 @ThisIs543 @JoyIntoDarkness @ReclusiveReptile @Tyedyedbutterfly65 @AffyAvo @peachkitty @dreamMelody27
@CaringBrit i keep losing connecting and have had to retype my answer like 4 times and still can't get it to go through so I'ma keep this short: I believe this is the school's responsibility to teach people about general things that can go wrong physically and mentally and what long term issues like disabilities are and what people go through and when to seek a professional opinion. We should be taught what conditions warrent going to a doctor, and if people know more about the vast variety of disabilities and what these people go through there would be less stigma because stigma is basically just not knowing or not understanding or misunderstanding
I mean, we can try to talk to people about our own experiences, but that only teaches about one issue. School needs to teach about the vast variety of issues because so many people have unique struggles that they feel the need to hide
@ReclusiveReptile schools should teach this i agree
information correctly portrayed on the media would help too
true, but i don't think we can trust media to tien over a new leaf like that any time soon. Misinformation is too interesting and revenue-bringing
@ReclusiveReptile true point what about us actually spreading the word hosting events spreading the word ourselves handing info leaflets we may have made ourself etc public talks
@CaringBrit yeah, small change is possible, though it may be difficult for a leaflet and short convos to change lots of minds. it's true that lots of small change can lead to big change though
@CaringBrit
In what ways can we help to stop stigmas surrounding disabilities?
In what ways can are we able to educate people and learn them about different disabilities?
There are organizations that help and have materials to encourage disabled people and also materials to educate the surrounding community. I like this video a lot
https://vimeo.com/108810703
There is a "What can you do?" Campaign and they have materials you can download with web and print ads and also ready to publish articles. This is not dealing with stigma only, it is also dealing with employment opportunities. I thought it was still worth mentioning. https://www.whatcanyoudocampaign.org/psa-campaigns/
I have an invisible illness and chronic pain. This is a good book to help educate people about my issues. https://www.amazon.com/But-You-LOOK-Good-Understand-ebook/dp/B00NKRYTCA
@1Marg1 awesome thanks for your response marg
@CaringBrit I live in the United States where the "type A gotta be a winner" personality type reigns supreme. Being disabled normally means you receive financial assistance from social security and/or a retirement/pension from a previous career. But it is seen as getting paid for doing nothing. And to all the hard working adults that dont get to stay home all day that is not fair. And there are the con artists who take advantage of the system and drain the resources from it before the hard working people even get to retirement age.
An individuals disability itself is not the stigma. The stigma comes from the few bad, dishonest apples that spoil the bunch. Who say they cant hold down a job due to physical pain, but is seen doing yard work, walking fine, climbing stairs. Then the general public starts thinking how many other people are just trying to get out of working and paying into social security.. So all the disabled people are stealing their future money.
It is society having to share money. And when it comes to money it is a dog eat dog world. No one want to hear about why you dont feel good and that is why you need some of their hard earned money. All they are thinking is "what about me and my future?"
In my opinion if you want the stigma of being disabled gone then create a system where the money you put into social security from working is the money you draw from late . Taking the money out of the equation might get more listeners
@ParkieShuffle " The stigma comes from the few bad, dishonest apples that spoil the bunch. Who say they cant hold down a job due to physical pain, but is seen doing yard work, walking fine, climbing stairs. "
That is stigma in of itself. Many conditions have flareups. And even on a bad pain day, some with chronic pain can appear to walk just find and go up and down stairs. Pain isn't always the whole body and those who experience it chronically also become quite good at managing doing certain tasks and masking it.
@AffyAvo thats the words i qwas trying to think of as i was so lost how to respond to them well said affy
@AffyAvo I guess what I was trying to get across was the people who dont deal with a chronic disease and/or pain but knows the neighbor who doesnt work cause they are on disability and see about 10% of their day draws the wrong conclusion that they are just faking, never talking to the neighbor just assuming. That is how a negative opinion starts, even though they are completely wrong.
It would be naive to think in the whole social security disability system that no one is playing the system.
I have had people tell me that I always have a smile on my face and fun to talk to it is hard to believe I dont still work. They dont see the planning it takes two days before hand to make sure I got the energy then depending how long the day is the days after it takes to recover. But I put on the smile everyone wants to see. Cause deep down no one wants to be reminded of the bad things life can throw at you.
I have also been picked on and sworn at for moving too slow, taking too long, or forgetting something cause I am making their life more difficult.
I guess I am probably still not explaining myself and opinions have been made of me. I guess I am not sure if l should be participating on this site. I apologize if I offended someone.
@ParkieShuffle you didn't offend anyone, at least not me. I understand how hard you work to mask your mood or pain and I understand fighting stigma is difficult with people pointing at the 'bad apples'.
Sometimes it's hard to get a point across, it happens to everyone which I guess happened here too. Thanks for being part of the community and sharing your thoughts!
@ParkieShuffle You're welcome here!
I think the rate of people faking to get disability benefits is quite low, generally they are quite difficult, it actually seems fairly rare to me where someone fills out the application and gets them without any issues.
I agree, there are some out there, but most likely there are way fewer than what many suggest.
I also agree the few fakers who are out there do make it more difficult for anyone who does (and doesn't but should) qualify for disability benefits. Even if we could eliminate all the fakers though, I think the faker accusation would remain because many people think of a disability as being visible and with consistent impairments, not something that's invisible with symptoms that change day to day and even minute to minute.
Great example of this (especially if reading comments related to the picture):
The fact that someone standing up - something they likely do daily is being classified as a miracle, because they use a wheelchair to get around when that aid is really beneficial is a great example of how some assume a person is a faker.
@AffyAvo i know a person who did fake it and do not blame them becayse she wannted state support to help her paralised grandmother so she now believes she has a mental diseease. I know better but any money helps her, it is her own soul to reckon with
@CaringBrit I think it would be wonderful to teach people/kids about disabilities and mental health issues when at school. And also in work places too, as some places are still lacking understanding about how people need support etc. Things like public presentations, online videos and courses would be great to help others understand them a little bit better. Stigma and judgement will always be around, but hopefully in the future it will gradually reduce and folks with these issues may feel like part of society more. We tend to shy away from talking about these issues, so I believe the more we talk about it, the more others begin to understand and take notice.
