Do we always feel like to reply to simple questions like "how are you" ?
Hello everyone !
During our interactions with people it happens to be asked to questions like "how are you today?" , "do you have news?" , "how are things going on?"
So i wonder if we are always ready to reply to those simple questions telling things how they really are:
1* Do you think there is a vulnerability in replying to those questions?
2* Do you always feel like to reply with the truth?
3* Do you ever feel like to just say that everything is ok even if it is not?
4* Do you need to have a connection with the person to open up with them?
5* When you do not reply telling how things really are, do you do it for a reson?
You are right. I am a very hostile person when it comes to meeting new people. In my late teens/early 20's I was open and friendly, but I have always been pessimistic. Then things have happened and I became hostile. Meeting strangers - no matter how nice on the outside they are - I am always on gaurd. A way to change that?
@TransAm85
Hi @TransAm85 !!
Sorry to hear that bad experiences have impacted on you so deeply. I can understand that it is not easy.
You ask how that could change...well you know, what is good for someone could be wrong for someone else, so it is not easy to give too specific advices.
But we can reflect about it. If you feel like it is something that you would like to change, the fact to be on guard, then what about to try to make small changes? Like step by step?
It comes to my mind something like...."be like a snail that carefully explores the surroundings, ready to come back to its shell when it does not feel comfy"... Makes sense?
Take care !
I do not feel vulnerable asking a question like that, as I feel like most of the time there is a truthful answer that won't put someone off, it just depends on the depth that I go into when answering.
So for a random person, tired, busy, been better, surviving, etc. all seem to be socially acceptable answers (with surviving, a quick flash of a smile helps smooth that over). These are often more honest than 'fine' or 'ok' (which also get used some days) but get the same overall 'pass' in my experience.
With people I know better, if there's time I might start off with one of those or something a little less generic, like I've been having quite a few rough days and then go into the why/details depending on how much time we have.
@AffyAvo
Hi Affy!
Well, it sounds like a good balance! No particular difficullties then !
It honestly depends on my mood, but if I feel like I need to be honest to someone, I usually feel guilty afterwards. I wish Iremembered the gult before I was honest. Im stuck dealing with that feeling for a very long time afterwards.
@convivialPlum6966
Hi @convivialPlum6966 !
Thanks for sharing 
I think people ask this kind of question just by social norm and don't care about answers, they don't expect an answer. we should just say what is expected for showing we received the message. It's just a phatic expression. people are very disturbed if you answer somethng honnest and not just the social response that is intended.
@vivelespatates
Hi @vivelespatates !
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Does it happen to you often to have the same feedback from whoever?
Can it be differet when the interaction is with someone like a friend or a family member?
@BeyondTheInvisible i dont have friend or family
@vivelespatates
I see, well so you decide how to interact with people and how to perceive their simple questions, it's ok.
I do not know whether having a friend or a family group to relate to would be important for you, i hope that you can build the relationships you wish to have
