Disabled but...don't feel disabled

I'm both physically and mentally disabled and...I don't know how to feel about it.

I never thought much about it, and thought suffering this way was normal.
I kept pushing myself through my limits, and kept lying saying I'm OK but I haven't been for decades.

The mental disability has been there since I was born due to abuse from my childhood home...The physical disability occurred maybe 6+ years ago and it's getting worse. ((Though, I'm starting to wonder if maybe I used to get concussions too when I was a child, so the disability might have built up over time...))

I was diagnosed with depression and PTSD. I didn't know that those were considered disabilities.

I also have chronic pain from getting hit by a car as a pedestrian, and as a result, my entire left side of my body is weaker...Then my (abusive) ex-fiancé did some things to me to exasperate the pain and I might have brain damage from it. I got checked, and I have some symptoms of at least getting a concussion or something, is what the physical therapist said.

When I asked my new primary doctor for a body and brain scan, he dismissed it entirely and said the pain doesn't "seem that bad" pretty much...even though I'm in pain daily. Then he referred me out to a behavioural therapist and physical therapist while prescribing me depression meds...I'm not ready to take any type of meds yet, until my physical pain is gone and until I know ALL of the side effects because it's scary.

My physical therapist said it's possible I might have had a fracture at some point that tried healing, but it's undetermined. She was sympathetic to my concerns, while the doctor dismissed me when I requested body & brain scans... I'm tired of the stupid pain plus being depressed on top of that, I don't feel like doing much...

In the past, I used to drink my pain away (I no longer drink) and now I just take MJ edibles, some pain killers, and drink coffee to get a dopamine hit... I don't really like to numb my mind so often with the MJ, so I'm slowly thinking of detoxing after awhile. The pain killers haven't been super effective, and I err on the side of caution with those too, due to side-effects...

Anyways, sorry, I'm rambling...
I'm new to this. I feel like there's people who have it worse than me, and never in my life would I have said I was disabled because of that. I think it's time for me to do something about these disabilities that I have been neglecting. I didn't go to the hospital for DECADES and only recently went to get help. I'm also trying to go for therapy again, because my mind feels severely broken...

I've had therapist in the past, but it didn't work out. One just told me to "be happy" and said she didn't think I was depressed, even when I told her all of the abusive things my then fiancé no ex-fiancé did to me. Another therapist would blame me (a survivor of DV) and then take personal phone calls during our sessions that I wanted to give up after awhile on therapy, when I kept getting therapists like that.

Anyways...Could you share your experiences with disability? When did you first discover you were disabled? How did you cope? Do you have advice or tips on how to deal with the disability? Has it gotten better, worse, or has it been steadily the same for you?