Hard for me to open up
Ok I'm Vincent. I have problems opening up to people even the ones im close to. I shut out a lot of my emotions from people. It's really hard for me to talk about my problems to other people face to face. I've always been a very quiet person. Since I was a kid I didn't get very much positive emotions from my parents. So I seem to bottle it all up till I explode in a rage or in tears. I've always felt alone in the world. That no one really cares for me. So it makes it hard to tell people how I feel and what's wrong with me. I have a fiance that I love a lot. I still find it hard to talk to her about my problems. She beats me with a pillow till I open up a little bit to her. But I'm here search for advice to help me open up and speak my mind.
@Reigner
Only three rules about learning to open up-
1. Start opening up
2. Make lots of mistakes about who you trust and what you say
3. Continue from 1.
Sounds like you're doing ok on here?
hi vincent,
thanks so much for sharing on this thread. i'm guessing this was a huge step for you...i read what you wrote, and without minimizing it, i really think you should take a moment to acknowledge this and be proud of yourself for reaching out for support.
Our experiences and upbringing can play such a significant role in our future relationships....not having role models who encourage expression of emotions, being ridiculed when we do share our emotions, having our emotions minimized or ignored, can all impact how or if we choose to express ourselves later in life. before you start beating yourself up about you not being able to open up, ask yourself why you think this is the case? you will be much more successful at making changes in your behaviour once you have identified the root cause.
Be kind to yourself and set realistic expectations. If you find it hard to open up face-to-face, start smaller i.e. write your fiance a letter when you need/want to share something. The more positive reenforcement you receive for opening up, the easier it will become.
In the meantime, I would suggest trying to find outlets for your emotions that don't involve other people. This might help with the "rage" and "tears". Often, people find journaling benneficial as it allows them to get out what they are feeling, but not have the stress/anxiety of dealing with others. Allow for baby steps and building blocks. This won't always be the case, but give yourself an opportunity to grow incrementally!
Good luck:)
There's some great suggestions here! I would add put it down in writing sometimes too. Email, text, a note, whatever. Sometimes it's easier to write it out.
