How do you feel like a whole person?
I've been having a lot of trouble with this for the past few months. My diagnoses are relatively recent (Ehlers-Danlos hypermobility, POTS, celiac disease) and while it should feel better to know why I can't do as much as everyone else... it hasn't felt super great to have doctors tell me "oh your genes are junked up, here's a long list of things you can't do, by the way having a baby will probably kill you so avoid that."
My husband is amazing, my parents are amazing, but I still live in an area where I'm being given no kind of accomodations on account of the fact I live in nearly constant pain. It's not appropriate for you to have a handicap sticker, they say, because you can still walk; regardless of how often I sprain my joints getting out of vehicles or just walking. "You can still work, work from home!" like it's totally not hard to find work from home positions (i have one now, they just haven't given me any work in months, working from home is great and reliable 9_9) /s
And I'll get through it. I'll cope, because I have to. Because this garbage body I live in is the only one I get and it's that or dying, and I didn't like how dying felt earlier this year. (Untreated celiac is apparently a good way to get your body to stop making blood and strangle itself slowly.)
But me being brave and trying my best doesn't pay the rent. It doesn't make it any less stressful when I'm told I should get supportive joint braces and a physical therapist, when I can't afford either of these things. When I'm at the store and I start crying because there's so little I can eat safely there AND afford. When I take hours out of my day to cook for myself (because I have to) and swim (because I will get arthritis in my 30s if I don't) and still get told I need to step up my side hustle if I want to pay the bills. When my husband talks about moving to the cheapest nearby town with the least terrifying crime rate, far away from his job, and doesn't grumble about it at all (even though my heart is breaking because I know me not being able to work as much is the reason we're having to consider it.)
I know it shouldn't make me feel like less, because all I can do is my best.
But here, my best isn't enough. My best gets told, "You're not that bad off, you can walk, do better." And my best is already a daily struggle with pain and migraines and dislocated joints and crying; I don't know how much more blood they can get out of this stone.
And I don't know how to be okay with that.
It's hard, I think especially so when things get worse or you reach a new stage in life and your body isn't doing what you expected it would be doing when you get there.
I'm at a place where I feel more whole again although broken at times. It's nice to have all of the pieces back though, I dunno where some hid for a while 
Some tips that worked for me, although following them isn't easy.
- Don't listen to those who aren't supportive.
- Don't compare yourself to others or at least not those who do not have similar issues to deal with.
- Find some things that you get meaning out of and that you get a sense of accomplishment from. if you can have something where there's a way to look at progress that can be helpful as well.
- Get people in your life who are supportive - both professionally and friends.
It sounds like you have some great people on your side - your husband and your parents. With the move, try not to see it as a way of blaming yourself - you didn't make a choice to cause the illnesses, moving is a way to deal with them the same way it would be if it were external factors.
I also am a zebra :) Type 3.
I think that for me personally the thing i've found most comfort in is my belief that my soul is seperate from my body. Although that may sound bad i find it really helpful, i know that when i am in terrible pain it isn't me it's just my body sending confused signals. It helps me knowing that my personality comes above my abilities and the way i treat others is more important than whether i can open a bottle of milk for example. It's almost like i'm driving a bit of an old car, it''s a bit rusty, sometimes breaks down and dosn't do everything everone's shiny new ones can do but ultimately i'm here and that's the important thing.
Sending you hugs from a fellow EDS bendy bod!
I was born Hard of Hearing, I've never known what it is like to have good hearing that is unaided. I think I first noticed there was a difference between myself and others when it started catching up to me professionally. None the less, I didn't even consider myself disabled until recently, only took me 40 or so years to get there.
Till that point, I never really gave it much thought beyond figuring out what hearing aids I could buy for the cheapest price that still met all my needs at work.
I'm an English teacher, so being able to hear my students helps.
Now, I'm way more aware of the fact that my hearing is only going to get worst and I need to being thinking and acting now in preperation for the day where I'm not longer going to be able to work in a classroom.
Such is life.
