Anorexia - how do you actually feel today?
I want to die. I'm such a failure in general. I'm antisocial, mean, evil, fat, i eat too much, i can't sleep, i always have a headache. I'm fed up. Plus, a year ago i set my suicide date for today. Funny.
@Cosmicrexia - I'm so sorry you're having such a hard time, and I know how overwhelming those feelings can be and how much they can weigh on you. If you are feeling suicidal, I want to share a few resources with you that will be better able to help you than I, or another listener, could.
International suicide hotline numbers - to find someone trained to talk to wherever you are
Online suicide help - if chatting would help, but you prefer to do it online to on the phone
Suicide stop - a good resource for a lot of information and help
I think it's really important to talk about how you're feeling, and opening up here was really courageous of you. Please continue to talk and open up and be honest about where you're at with people, whether friends and family or online. Take care.
Thank you so much, i'm already talking to an old friend of mine and feeling slightly better. I think i'msetting another date, it'll give me time to think about it. Sadly, if things get just as bad as they got today i'm afraid i won't be able to stop myself. I wish someone could help me, it'd be horrible for my loved ones if they found me dead! Even if they don't care too much, suicide is irreversible... I think we all want to be saved and feel like someone cares. Thank you for being there.
I'm so glad to hear that you have a friend you are talking to about this and that it's helping somewhat. Please let me know if there's any way I can help support you. I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but there is so much possibility left in your life and so many amazing things that can come from it. Fighting through this right now is so hard, but you can get through it.
I feel confused. Confused if some of my behavioris caused by my eating disorder or if it's just how I am. I'm hungry at the moment , but have already consumed a good enough amount of food for today. It's hard to not eat, the struggle of trying to control myself. Not knowing if I should be proud of myself or ashamed. Even after saying all this, I'm happy for at least being able to express myself on here.
@LuvDollie - you are totally right to be happy that you opened up here. That takes a lot of courage, and you should be really proud. As for the rest, early in recovery, it's really hard to find the balance and to feel good about it, but that comes with some more time, and it sounds like you're making tremendous progress already. If you ever need to talk, there are lots of great listeners on here who would be happy to help you work through what you're feeling. Take care!
I feel completely awful. I was full blown anorexic back 3 years ago. The human body can go 3 weeks without food. I would go 2 weeks without eating then eat a snack, then starve for 2 weeks again. I was forced into recovery when I was sent to the mental hospital back in December 2013.I was almost normal a year later. Almost every meal, every day. I ended up gaining 30 lbs in recovery, but managed to eat healthy and exercise to lost 15 lbs.But in January 2015, I relapsed. I would go a week wthout eating. Now..it's gotten worse. I wanna get better, but I'm too scared. I'm scared I'll gain weight again. I'm scared all my hard work will go down the drain. I'm fainting in class (back when school was in) and I pass out during swim practice (varsity swim team) and summer training. I wanna get back into recovery, but I'm scared. I've tried everything but I've just backed down.
@Samamas - I know how scary it can be to face recovery and to feel like you have so much to lose, but you have so many things to gain, too, and it sounds like you can see a lot of them - being able to not pass out in school, excelling in your sport, etc.
You were able to make so much progress before - what helped you in recovery then? Can you use some of those same things to help now? Is there someone you can reach out to for support in this?
Take care, and please reach out if we can help support you.
@Anomalla Thank you for your support. I know there's things to gain, but things to loose. I know I will gain weight in recovery.
I was forced into recovery last time. I was in the mental hospital. It just became a habit of eating a little bit and when I got out, I continued that habit unknowingly.
I have a friend supporting me, but she's all I have left. I recently just lost my whole support system except her.
Thank you, have a nice day!
Horrible. I wish that I didn't eat those pieces of bread. Why must I feel hunger?! I hate it!!
@JustATadTooGone - I'm sorry you're feeling so horrible after eating. Just try to think of the important energy and nutrients that your body has gotten that will help you do all the things in life you love and that you can't do without that food. It doesn't make it easy, but sometimes reminding yourself of what good things food does for you can help a little bit. Take care
I ate so much today and I'm not feeling it. I know I shouldn't skip meals, but I'm sick of being >100lbs. I can't stand it anymore.
@Survivability17 - I'm sorry it's a tough day and that you're not feeling good about where your body is right now, but I hope that you can push through it and continue to nourish your body. If you ever need to talk about it, please reach out to one of the listeners on here - there are loads who would be happy to chat. Take care
Today, I feel good. I have begun a weight gain regimen and started a food journal. I have been doing this for a week now and I already feel better; I have also gained a little weight. I still struggle with the anxiety of gaining or eating too much but I keep reminding myself of the pains, mood swings, and lethargy that came with not eating and how much I hated hurting.
I am also proud to say that I have started to take control of my emotions and learn to step away from the negative and not tolerate certain things that I have allowed in the past. I have not fully recovered from the toxicity that some people brought into my life but I am working on it one day at a time. I have begun to discover and use my voice when it comes to me and things I feel and want. I must say, it has been EMPOWERING! I have come a long way and I know I have a long way to go, but the first step is always the hardest and I have taken it.
@bubblewriter5890 - WOOHOO!!! You are making such enormous strides and doing amazing things, and I am so proud of you! I'm also thrilled to hear that you're starting to feel those emotional benefits that can sometimes take a little while to follow in recovery. Love that word empowered and love that you're feeling it! Keep it up and stay strong!
I feel sick with myself. I went to a 6 day camp and was forced to eat lots of food and 3 meals a day. I feel sick knowing that i gained over ten pounds.
@lostgirl2001 - I know that can feel incredibly hard and overwhelming, but it sounds like it might have also been really necessary to nourish your body. Try to move forward and take the benefits of this - the energy it gives you, the strength, and the rest, and keep going. And if you need to, reach out to someone for some extra support, whether in your family/friends or a listener on here. Take care
You should feel good in your skin.Even if you are fat or anorexic
Hungry. I want to eat but I know that if I do, I'll just have to throw it up....
@MindsInside - Does it have to be all or nothing? Do you think there might be something that you could eat to help nourish your body, but that you might find easier to keep down? For me, early in recovery I did well with soups and smoothies and things, but for each person it is different.
I'm not sure...I don't even know why this is happening....I think I just try to purge anything, no matter what it is....
Fat... I ate one slice of pizza. Now I dont want todo eat for a week.
@BerryTea - I know right after eating it can sometimes feel really overwhelming and like you need to make up for it somehow, but I promise that one meal cannot change your body or make you fat or do anything except provide the nourishment and energy your body needs to keep going. If you're feeling a bit overwhelmed, take some time and do something that relaxes you, whether that's listening to music, talking to a friend or a listener here, or whatever else. Then reconsider your next meal at that time - no need to plan the whole week right now. Take care
