I don't want to recover from Anorexia. I don't know how to get past this mindset?
I just feel like while it's got a grip on me, I have an excuse to be fat. I know that I need to 'recover' but I don't want to :-/
I am afraid of what will happen if I recover....I know I need to but it terrifies me to the point where I don't want to recover anymore...it is a scary feeling
@Twist It makes sense that the unknown is scary. It is very normal to be ambivalent about recovery. Sometimes it helps to focus on what aspects of recovery you ARE motivated for... For example, on a scale of 1 to 10...10 being all the time when you are awake and 1 being never...how often do you think about food? What do you want that number to be? How often do you think about your body? What do you want that number to be? What would you think about if you weren't having your thoughts monopolized by food/body... Those aspects of recovery may seem less scary--try focusing on what you are ready for. All the best!
I don't wanna recover yet. Im not skinny enough, and I promissed myself that when I get there, I'm going to ask for help, but I'm afraid that i will never think Im skinny enough.
Then you should try send get help now I know it's not easy believe me but if you can recover before it gets more serious then it will be so much better in so many ways. Anorexia can cause death and you definitely don't want to wait for the day your heart gives out because you haven't been giving it enough nutrition. I know it's hard but getting help now is the best thing you can do, it will be hard but the longer you wait the harder it will be stay strong.
@Weirdgirl101
I feel exactly the same way....I want to be skinny...don't want to be fat and for me, recovery means fat
@Weirdgirl101
i feel the same way
I feel that way every day every second bc I 'should' eat at times normal people eat at. I am afraid I will gain weight while recovering then I think I have gotten to this point why stop I'm doing good. Yeah I agree I still don't know how to not think these things. Like I honestly know without looking the amount of carbs and calories in everything I eatwhen I have to.
I know what that's like...I think the hardest part about recovery for me was committing to wanting it. I spent the majority of the time going back and forth between wanting my disease and wanting recovery, all the while feeling like I was failing at both.
It was a slow process, but I made myself think every day about what I wanted out of recovery, how my life would be better if I could eat normally, go out for coffee with friends, have a normal dating life, etc. and reflecting on the fact that even though I was thinner, I was no happier than I had been before.
What a simple but remarkable idea it is to put forth the same effort as staying skinny into healing the mind.
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This is exactly how I feel. It kind of scares me, but not eating also makes me feel calmer. And yes, I know it's bad, I know I need food... but I just don't want it.
i cant decided if i would rather be skinny and be succeeding, or be healthy but gaining weight (which literally makes me feel sick just thinking about it) but being able to focus on my a levels...i know a levels should be more important, and health should be, but i just cnt face gaining weight.
@gregariousEyes2752 - I understand how you feel, and I spent WAY too many years juggling with that same question. I felt like somehow, if I were just thin, everything else would fall into place. But honestly, being thin never really made me happy, just desperate, and things didn't start falling into place until I finally allowed myself to let go and work towards recovery. It's not an easy path, but it is a possible one, and if you want some support while you walk down it, you can always reach out to me or any other listener. Take care and be safe.