Bulimia - What does it feel like?

I don't w if what o do can bulimia. I barely eat anymore, and when I do I just, suddenly feel sick. I don't eat without purging anymore. It doesn't feel good.

Personally, I feel normal from waking until nightfalls, or evening comes and I am home. Then I feel like a beast that wants to eat everything. I dont taste what I am binging on but as long as I know it has sugar and is harmful to myself and my goals, I will eat it. I then will immediately drink fluid to go and purge. After purging, I feel relief it is out of my system. i then look for real nutrition, but because I am around food, the trigger starts again, and we are off! stuffing and purging, stuffing and purging, Until I am crying, and my gag reflex doesnt work anymroe and then I force myself to eat a healthy meal because I know that the last 2000 calories I just binged on wont come up. Living with bulimia is fearing when your room mates bring snacks into the house. It is fearing to go into the kitchen. it is fearing to be left alone with the power to make food. It is the anxiety of when is someone gonna come back in and bust me binging or purging. It is getting pissed at someone when they interrupt your binge, but secretly being happy because you couldnt stop it yourself. Living with bulimia, Is living with rotting teeth, brittle hair, depression, mood and weight fluctiations, having an empty wallet, stealing food from grocery stores and praying you dont get caught. It is binging in front of grandmaw so she will be happy you are eating and you are happy to eat for her. It is then the shame of having splashback of a public toilet on your face. It is walking around with vomit in your hair and the smell on your fingers and clothes. Living with bulimia, is being disgusted with yourself when that flip turns on. All I can do is hope and cope that the switch doesnt come on, but It does, I controll it sometimes, and it doesnt like when I do, so the binge after, is much much worse than it would have been. Living with bulimia, for me, is terrible.

Constant anxiety about food.

Am I eating too much? Too little? Oops, too much. Better throw it up.

It complicates social life. Oh! Friends going out to eat? Can't go. Too many calories. Don't feel like throwing up today. Sorry, guys.

Physical things are always there too. Like scarred hands from purging too much, blood in your vomit, bad teeth/breath, bad skin, bad nails, hair loss, blood shot eyes, rapid heart beat, sore throat, etc.

It makes life miserable. You hate yourself for doing it but you can't stop. People think you're disgusting.You think you're disgusting...it's just pretty shitty in general. If anyone at all is ever thinking of trying it,please don't. It is extremely hard to stop.

It feels horrible! The constant strugglewith something we have to face every single day--food. Always thinking about food and what to binge on what not to binge on, how much money you will spend on food, when to do it, and it is just so exhausting.You get so angry when you do it, you just want to eat normally! Not too much and not too little. It is every second of the day that it is in my head.

Bulimia is a deceptive hell. You enter thinking that it's all fine and dandy. You don't have a problem, no ma'am. You go through life, and you don't even notice it at first. The bulimia slowly creeps into every single damn aspect of your life, until it becomes your life. It happens so sneakily and carefully that you refuse to accept that you've lost control of what was once your form of control.

And even then, even when you've hit rock-bottom, being hospitalized every week, stealing and lying and manipulating to binge and purge, even when you realize that you aren't the same person you once were and even when you realize that you hate who you've become, it still won't be enough to make you want to recover.

It may have started out about weight, or control, or managing emotions. But bulimia is an extremely slippery slope, and once you start, it's so incredibly hard to stop. It is hell on earth, it is torture of the body, the mind, and the psyche. So if you think you or someone you know may be developing/has bulimia, PLEASE do not hesitate to talk to someone that you trust or the person themselves. Bulimia kills, and once the darkness of it takes over, you'll find yourself wishing that it'd kill you too.

If anyone needs to talk, I'm always available.

I wish you all well!!!!

Yeah i understand Im bullimic myself I cant stand it though I wish I was a normal happy person but Im not Im not even happy Im depressed and I wish I didnt binge or purge and even have thoughts of purging cause I cant stand it I want to get better and Im worried I wish to be skinny and happy I wish to excercise and control my binge eating but I cant I dont understand whats wrong with me whats going on inside of my head why cant I just eat normal not binge and not even have thoughts about purging why ?

How the hell do you recover from bullimic what is wrong with me I dont even feel like purging anymore like not even barely I feel guilty and tired and sick and I dont barely even purge anymore but I still binge like I even sometimes binge but and I dont feel like purging

@Laura well Im bullimic and it sucks a lot I cant stand it and you dont even lose weight being bullimic you just lose a bit temporarily from getting extremely dehydrated from purging and it sucks and your health is at risk it feels like you start your day with uncontrollable binge eating habits and feeling full then you feel really guilty and scared and dont want to gain weight and you stick 2 or 3 fingers up your throat and purge the living hell out of you until you cant purge anymore and then the same cycle is repeated again and you will be gaining weight not only feeling fat but actually are and your teeth are yellow a lot no matter if brushed and your throat hurts from doing that you can also vomit puke through your nose and you get nose bleeds from to much pressure in your face extreme dehydration and weakness from purging and sad just wanting to recover and be normal

Bulimia feels like relief for the moment...then comes the guilt and the shame.