[Trigger Warning] Things not to say to somebody struggling with an Eating Disorder
Hello ED Warriors! 
Today I started to think about the different things, that one may say that instead of helping support us - actually triggers us further into our eating disorder. Sometimes its hard to know the line and what we should avoid saying, so I thought a thread may be a good idea so that others know things that they should avoid. Please Note: In this thread there are likely to be messages that may be triggering to different individuals. Please do not read past this point if you are easily triggered. Therefore I am starting this thread to share some messages and help others learn what not to say.
"What are some things that we should avoid saying to somebody struggling with an Eating Disorder?"
Share some of the phrases you come up with below
I look forward to hearing your messages!
The ones I hate more than anything are "You look so good!" "People would kill to have a body like yours" and any usage of the nickname "Skinny Minnie." Basically any compliments on my appearance make me want to keel over and die, like things like that always make me feel so disgusted with myself because I hate my body, I know I'm unhealthy, and the fact that all anyone cares about is that I look "good" and that people would kill for my body feels so disgusting. Like no, you don't want my body. I don't even want my body. "Skinny Minnie" is so f-ing triggering, though, holy crap, and people have been calling me that my entire life never getting it through their heads how much it screws with my head and how much I hate it.
Also "Just eat" is a pain, too, especially when said in restaurants when I am legit having internal panic attacks about the food on the plate in front of me. Like listen, if I could eat, I would, but I can't, so back off, jeez. Leaving a restaurant with a to-go box or doggy bag feels like such a walk of shame, as if everyone is watching the skinny girl leave with most of her food and making silent judgments about "Of course she couldn't eat it all" or something snarky like that. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, also when I am having a "good" day and eating well and people tell me "You're fine, you don't have an eating disorder" like yeah, okay, I might be eating alright today but tomorrow I guarantee I'm going to end up restricting and then what are you going to think about my eating disorder then? It's just so invalidating (especially when you don't fit the criteria for anorexia or bulimia, so people don't believe you have an eating disorder anyway. I'm currently labelled as OSFED until I narrow down/cancel out other disorders like ARFID, which means I'm in the junk drawer of eating disorders basically which is also super invalidating lmfao)
@myaekingheart when I started to try to recover. I told one of my best friends about my ED. And since I didn't exactly fit any specific criteria, it was really hard. I would find it so hard to eat in front of her from then on, because I would feel so invalidated. Like I was never sick to begin with because I'm totally eating right now. But then not eating would make her worry but then eating would make her think I was just looking for attention but then not eating .... And it was terrible cycle. I totally get what you're saying. I hope you're doing great!
@myaekingheart
I feel this so deeply in my soul. All my love to you
for my case, maybe of suggesting of what not to say... "which is easily thought of.."
(its just basically anything related to food, hunger, etc.)
(i just want to be alone)
(it has been a hard/tough day to go through - let alone food and decisions)
if i can/want to talk/chat/discuss about something, i will bring it up
(don't push, suggest, blame, eat, munch, crunch, in front of me will do.)
(it has been tough, troubling, stressful with food around me.)
let me be, who i want to be
set me free, let me speak, let me cry (if i can)
@emsworld
"You're not fat"
"You look amazing"
"How do you eat so much?"
"Just eat healthier"
"Stop comparing yourself."
"You should lose a bit of weight"
From the doctor: "You gained __ lbs"
"You need to lose weight"
"You are a bit overweight"
It's not that easy to do that.
Actual thing my dad said after I was diagnosed with BED- "Think about it this way... If you stop bingeing youll be feeding the kids in Africa"
My Mom- " But you look fine. Why do you get so guilty?"
Any other random person who doesnt understand- " Thats just an excuse for being fat", "At least its not as dangerous as anorexia", "If your so guilty why dont you make yourself sick".
There are countless more...
P.S- None of these things are supposed to discredit people who have anorexia or bulimia. These are just the personal things Ive heard because of my Binge Eating Disorder.
Are you a whale or a barfing bulimic anorexic? Need a Snickers?😉😎😂😂😂
I don't like it when they tell me to eat because if i could eat I wouldn't wait for someone to tell me what to do .. They just don't take the ED seriously
I agree with Yzza. Don't ever tell me to just eat, bc I can't.
@emsworld
"Kids in Africa are starving, and you don't eat by choice."
"Just eat more/less"
"You shouldn't be taking so long to eat"
"You already look healthy"
Recent doctor visit regarding compulsive exercising as part of my ED. Detailed the pain I am in from a recent relapse as well as the amount of time spent exercising. He ordered lab work.
Results received in the mail with highlighted comment saying: Increase exercise to lower this result.
