how do i help my friend with a eating disorder?
Hello, ive noticed over the past 1 1/2 year my best friend is anorexia or has some sort of eating disorder. shes very thin and doesn't usually eat at lunch having small bits of food here and there. Ive tried little things like bringing snacks i know she likes or trying to offer her food but im not sure what effect this is having. Ive never had a eating disorder and i have no clue what is the best course of action or what little actions i can take. Ive made mistakes a few times like once i accidentally commented on how little she weighed when i was spinning her in a spiny chair and she got visibly uncomfortable so i just want some advice on what i can do to help her (or at the least lessen whatever negative effects i could have on her)
I've talked with her somewhat about it before and all she asked of me was not say anything about her weight again (very understandable). either than that i havent really mentioned it to her beacuse im afraid of messing things up or pushing her to talk about something shes not ready for.
I dont think her situation is currently life threating (at least i hope not) but any advice would be wonderful!!
@SnapplesPeachIceTea
If it is noticeable and you have concerns ... maybe you should reach out even anonymously to parents? if in school teacher/ counselor? ...
although i would hope they would have noticed themselves if she is very thin. we cannot always think someone else will speak up or see it.
Like any condition early diagnosis and treatment is better then after it becomes a more serious issue or life threatening. I know it is a risk as she maybe very angry but in the end how would you feel if it was more serious then you know.
@toughTiger6481 Thankyou ill keep in mind what you said. i dont know her parents very well she seems to have some issues with them but she has told me they genuienly care about her and want her to be happy so thats a good start.
@SnapplesPeachIceTea
I think it's really great that you are reaching out. Today there are more and more support groups opening up to families and friends who have a loved one with eating disorders or disordered eating.
I worked with someone who had an eating disorder. When she left the office one of her comments was that she hated working in our office because most people in there talked about her weight, not with her about her challenges with her weight and getting to know her and if they could help in any way or what to not do to help her.
Sometimes just opening up the question about what helps and what makes it difficult for your friend related to her eating (or lack thereof) and her weight. There is so much more to a person than their eating and weight.
I applaud you for reaching out to see how to help. Being there to listen in the good and bad times can be a big help. Of course, if you think she is in danger, talking to someone who can know how to help or who can assess if she needs help. Sometimes we are too close to the person to think objectively and we need an outside person like a counselor or pastor or someone else who can help to sort things out with and give direction.
Many times those with eating disorders know when they need help just not if they qualify for it or where to get it. Allowing freedom of discussion for anything from the current topic to interests, or whatever you both talk about. Being a person she can trust can be a big deal.
I would say however, to anyone of any age, don't make a promise you can't keep.
@SnapplesPeachIceTea
Your friend is very lucky to have someone like you who cares enough to find out more information about eating disorders and how to be helpful to someone who is struggling with one.
Have you asked her if it’s helpful to bring some healthy snacks? Some people might find that helpful and some might find it insulting.
I would also refer her here to 7 cups. She might find some good support here!
