Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?

@TheInfiniteSea - I know it can be hard to feel like you've slipped and to come back from that, but first of all, this slip has no impact on the past, and every meal that you successfully didn't binge on still counts and is still a victory. And secondly, this slip has no impact on the future. Today is a new day and a new chance. Acknowledge what happened, if you can understand what triggered it, think about how to avoid that in the future, and then forgive yourself and move on. Don't let this one moment define today or any day after. You can still do this. You are strong and capable and can get through.

@wildfreeandrogyny - I'm so sorry that you have reached out for help before and not received the support you need, but you absolutely do deserve help and support. If you haven't found other listeners helpful, feel free to message me - I'd be happy to help if I can. Your post reminded me of a quote I used to go back to over and over again because it was tough for me to believe, but important to keep hearing.

You are worth more than the value you place on yourself.

I know that's hard to internalize, so I'll say it again.

You are worth more than the value you place on yourself.

You are worth love, from yourself and others, you are worth support, you are worth knowing how amazing you are. You are worth so much more than the value you place on yourself.

@Boopei - I know how frustrating that can be, but you still made it through most of the day. And today is a new day and a new chance to get all the way through. If evenings are your hardest time, try setting a strategy to set yourself up to succeed. Is it preparing your food and then moving to another room to eat it so that you can't see the rest? Is it having someone over to sit with so that you're less tempted to binge? Is it having a distraction lined up - whether it's a movie, a walk in a park, or whatever else? It's okay to give yourself some extra weapons to fight this. You can do it!

@MyAutumnLeaves - Keep fighting! Those feelings are so hard to sit with, but if you think back to when you were in the depths of your bulimia, were you any happier? I know it always feels like the grass is greener, but try to be truly honest with yourself - what would change if you went back? What are the positives and what are the negatives, and are they worth it? You can stay strong through this and you can keep to your recovery, and these feelings will pass. It won't be easy, but it will be worth it. Take care

@CutButterfly - Unfortunately the hardest part is getting the mental side worked out. But, it becomes a whole lot easier once you are physically, so you're well on your way and can get there. Do you have a support system to talk to about how you're feeling? Are you seeing a therapist or counselor at all? I've found that being really open and honest about the feelings can help you understand them better and eventually work through them.

I'm sorry that yesterday was such a rough day, and I hope today is off to a better start. Take care!

@catd513 - I think you're right. Remembering what you have to live for and to recover for is important. I focused a lot on all the things I wanted to be able to do that I couldn't in the depths of my eating disorder. I wanted to be able to help other people, but I couldn't when my constant thoughts were focused on food. I wanted to be able to go out to eat with friends and not have to scour the menu for an hour in advance to find safe food. I wanted to be able to date and go with the flow and run without feeling faint and set an example for my cousins and feel free and beautiful. What's on your list? What are the things you wish you could do but can't until you recover?

@Sarzgb - you can do it! But what might help is to take some of the pressure off. The whole weekend is pretty overwhelming to look at all at once, but first there's Saturday morning. You can get through that! Then there's Saturday afternoon. No problem! Then Saturday night. Evenings are harder, but rolling off of the strength of the rest of the day and surrounding yourself with some extra support, you can do that to! Same thing Sunday. Break it down into less overwhelming pieces and that might help. Good luck!

@unassumingSpring7030 - I know how hard it can be to look in the mirror and love what you see, and having friends around you constantly talking about food and dieting makes it that much tougher. Do you think that you could get them to lay off some of that by asking to change the topic? Would that help make things a little easier? If you need someone to talk to, there are loads of fabulous listeners here who can help. Take care

@comeasyouarex - I'm so sorry to hear how much pain you are in right now. And crying can be good and productive when you need it, but it sounds like you're ready to move on from that. I don't know the situation you're in, but you said you want things to go back to how they were. If that's not possible, can you figure out what parts of how things used to be are the most important to you and how you can get those same things or similar one and those same feelings again as you move forward?

@LifeOfChris - that's one of the hardest places to be, when you're torn between wanting recovery and wanting your disorder back. What helps me is to make lists of all the things I have in recovery that I didn't have when I was sick and all the ways in which things are better when I'm healthy. I have the strength to play soccer with my friends without passing out. I can go out to dinner with friends and enjoy their company instead of isolating myself to avoid having to eat. The list goes on and on, but sometimes it takes effort to really dig into what all those positives are to remember why you chose recovery in the first place. You can do this.

You may have relapsed, but you are doing great. You can't put pressure on yourself to be "perfect" once you recover and to never ever again act on a urge. Be proud of how hard you have worked! You don't have to throw it away because of a relapse. You are still kicking butt and can choose to treat your body the best you can and stay on your recovery path and if you did it once, you can do it again :) just give it time