Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I feel that I'm nothing I dnt deserve food I'm already fat people dnt understand that I can't just pick up food and eat it doesn't work like that soetimes I think that if i throw up my fod it'll help but I can't people would find out and so now I'm just going to ststarve for a while
@sparklzlover2001 - I know it feels like you are too fat and like your only option is to starve yourself, but I would hate to see you do that. It's a dangerous and painful path and there's very little to be gained by going down it. It sounds like it might help to talk to someone about how you're feeling - have you reached out to any listeners here? Take care, sweetie
Too fat
@Lesboss - sorry you're feeling that way. It's really easy to get down on our bodies, but try to remember that the body you have, no matter how you feel about it, is pretty amazing. You have legs that can carry you around and run and dance and skip. You have arms that can hold anything from a book to a baby to a hug. You have a brain that can learn and remember and feel. You have a heart that beats strong and holds those you love close. You have lungs that breathe deeply and let you talk and sing and live. Your body is so much more than a number on the scale, and it is beautiful. Take care, and please reach out if you need some extra support. <3
I've decided to eat in a healthier way, and that is REALLY helping me a lot. There is just this problem: I gym everyday and I cant see the results, that makes me sad, and that makes me thing about that the easy way of loosing weight (starving) was better and faster. Also, I dont know why, besides my healthier way, my hair is falling down, and mi skin is paler, I try to ignore this but Im afraid Im hidding Im sick again.
@ORCRPR04 - Eating healthy is great, but even that can be taken too far, so it's important to monitor yourself carefully. Have you ever talked to a nutritionist or a dietician? They would be able to help you figure out what a good meal plan is for you that will get you all the nutrients and energy you need while still fitting to the health goals you have. Be careful with this, and try to remember all the reasons why you wanted to do this without starving yourself. Take care.
Hi guys. Today was a bit rough. I've just had some bad news so I didn't even want to get out of bed this morning. I didn't want to eat at all. But I reminded myself that I've come so far in recovery and I should try to eat something. After reading some inspirational blog posts I had the courage to eat today and I feel quite proud. Very tired now though, recovery is hard but so so worth it! x
@LightFields8855 I am so proud of your phenomenal efforts. You truly are an inspiration. Don't let yourself become a victim of this horrible disorder, you're stronger than that, keep on fighting. You are a survivor
@LightFields8855 - that's amazing! you had to deal with a tough day, bad news, and strong urges to restrict, but you fought through all of that and stuck with recovery. That takes real strength and determination and I'm super impressed and proud! Great job!!! <3
Just vomited
@Tissueees - I'm sorry to hear that. If you feel like talking about it would help, please reach out to one of our listeners. Take care, and be safe.
Ive been feeling down lately.. I despise looking in the mirror. I hate what I see. I hate my body. I want to change, and it wouldn't matter to me if its in the most unhealthy way ;-; and when people tell me how bad it is to restrict, I know this.. But at this point I don't really care.. Anyone feel me?
@kittykatk8 - I can definitely relate and have been there. When I was starting in my eating disorder, I knew intellectually that it was dangerous, but that couldn't change how I felt. And I know that whatever I can say here to try to discourage you from going down such a hard and painful path won't work, but I hope that you will find peace with your body and be willing to live in it comfortably and healthily. And in the meantime, if you want to talk to a listener about how you're feeling, sometimes just talking about it can help a lot with the self-loathing. Take care
i feel horrible and wanna purge...i over ate...way to much again
Right there with ya.. I can't move.
@MusicLover22 and @Tissueees - I know how hard that feeling is to sit with and how much you want to fix it by getting rid of the food, but that just sets a second dangerous pattern. When you have those feelings, try reaching out here, in a chat room or to a listener, and get the support that your soul needs. There are so many people here who care about you and want to help you get through this. Take care and be safe
I bit disappointed. Ate so much junk food today, but at least it didn't turn into a full-on binge. Actually, maybe that's progress...?
@SkyUnicorn - definitely sounds like progress to me, and that's awesome! It's not about jumping all the way ahead to being perfect (though wouldn't that be nice if we could!), it's about slowly making little steps in the right direction, and this is definitely moving in the right direction. I'm very very happy for you and hope you can keep moving in this direction! Take care
Hunger is like a drug. I can't let go of it. As soon as I feel it I want more of it. It's really dangerous for me to get hungry. How can it be bad if it feels good?
@Shallan - I hear you. That's the hard part, isn't it...you can know intellectually that it's dangerous and you shouldn't go there, but when it feels intoxicatingly good, it can be hard to push through. But you can do it, and while hunger is like a drug and feels so good, other things, healthier things, can feel just as good and not take away so much else from you.
I keep wanting to eat so much it's like I can't control it. And then afterwards I feel so fat and disgusting that I throw it all up. I know it's not healthy and I know it's a problem but I don't know how to make it all stop.
@independentMaple1398 - I'm really happy to hear that you want to stop - that's an enormous thing. It's not easy, but you really can recover. Have you talked to anyone about it or found some good supports either in your life or here? Having people to go to when you feel like you need to binge or purge can go a long way to helping you hold off. Being able to be open about how you're feeling can relieve a lot of the pressure. And having someone to care for you even when you do binge or purge and to help you forgive yourself and move forward means the world. You can get through this, and there are plenty of people who want to help you get there. Take care.
please dont take this wrongly or offensively. cab you give me some tips on throwing up. im just starving and it doesnt work that well. im really scared to throw up incase someone finds out. in actually going now to the bathroom , i just hate this feeling. you know? i want to say my weight outloud without feelling ashamed.
@fearless1292 - unfortunately, I cannot provide those tips and will ask that others don't, as well. This is meant to be a place to express how you're feeling and seek support, but not to encourage or aid in the development or continuation of an eating disorder. If you would like to talk about how you're feeling or seek support from a listener, you can reach out to me or any other listener here. Take care, sweetie, recovery really is better, even if the thought of it is scary at times.
im sorry and thank you, but im really scared. i dont have anybody on my side. im really scared to recover, because i dont think i'll make it.
i just talked with a listener, and i'm really motivated. im sorry for asking that question, it was quite offensive. people are here to get better, not worse. guess i dont really understand the whole process of getting better.
@fearless1292 - It's OK to not understand the process yet, and there are people who want to help you figure it out and support you as you get there. I'm glad you found a listener who motivated you, and I hope you keep pushing towards recovery. You can do it!
