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Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?

User Profile: Laura
Laura December 2nd, 2014

Let us know in 1-3 sentences. Post as often as you like!

1331
User Profile: alexaners7734
alexaners7734 January 20th, 2017

Like fasting until I know what is going on with my friend who is in the hospital on the opposite side of the country... And her parents won't talk about her to me.

They tell me she is in the hospital and then ignoring me when I ask if she is OK or ask for any details...

3 replies
User Profile: Anomalia
Anomalia January 20th, 2017

@alexaners7734 - Why does your friend being in the hospital and you not knowing whats going on necessitate hurting your own health? I know that it can be hard to cope with stressors like that, but it sounds from the way you've written it like you are using this as a way to punish others, but it actually punishes you, not them, and that's a scary thing.

1 reply
User Profile: alexaners7734
alexaners7734 January 20th, 2017

@Anomalia no, just a way to get some form of control in my life.

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User Profile: Jules13
Jules13 February 10th, 2017

@alexaners7734 I'm in the same position.

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User Profile: alexaners7734
alexaners7734 January 21st, 2017

Missed breakfast, so all I am having today is a monster energy drink and a ensure light protein shake.

January 22nd, 2017

listened to my cravings but didn't go into overeating

1 reply
User Profile: Anomalia
Anomalia January 22nd, 2017

@FuturePsychologist2 - That's fantastic! When your body craves something, it's often for a reason, and listening to that craving is a healthy choice, but it's equally important not to go overboard and it sounds like you were able to find a great balance. Well done! :)

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January 23rd, 2017

guys i took less laxatives than i usually do and the urge was real and i somehow overcame it i'm so proud of myself

1 reply
February 17th, 2017

@FuturePsychologist2

Omg thats so good! Even though you took laxatives you limited it, which is a step forward. Congrats 💞💞

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User Profile: Redheadbaker7206
Redheadbaker7206 January 23rd, 2017

I honestly feel like giving up. I just want to be normal. I can't say without feeling anxious. I gained a few pounds back, but I'm constantly beating myself up for it. I feel like such a failure. I can't do anything right. I'm hardly sleeping, I know my attitude is terrible...I'm exhausted. Everyone who wants to help me is forcing me...which is stressing me out.. a lot. I feel so alone. I'm firing my therapist today... and I'm going to start looking for a new one.. I might not even go at all. Nothing is helping. I'm the problem.

February 15th, 2017

I always do great until the end of the day and then my binge eating feels out of control. I hate going to bed with that disappointment and shame. But I am working on being nice to myself and not so strict on my body. My binge eating developed about 1 year after some drastic weight loss amd strict exercise regime.

User Profile: Redheadbaker7206
Redheadbaker7206 February 15th, 2017

My biopsy is tomorrow and I've been panicking all week. I haven't been eating... I've been drinking to numb my pain. I've lost so much weight these last 2 weeks I can barely walk... they might not even do the biopsy tomorrow because I'm such a mess. I might have cancer.. I'm just freaking out. How can they expect me to eat when I'm having panic attacks about my biopsy? I'm so stressed. I'm terrified of needles.. I don't know what I'm going to do.

User Profile: purplegreen
purplegreen February 16th, 2017

Just feeling super bummed this week and rolling back into old bingey habits ....not too sure if its ED to blame or just a general low mode.... maybe a combo of both ....so i just needed to vent somewhere as i feel crap and i dont know why or if i want to blame ED or crappy mood . happy friday all xo

User Profile: CursesAndMagic
CursesAndMagic February 17th, 2017

I was fine for years everyday was good. Then something clicked. I was fitting into a smaller size pants for the first time in ages and I like it...a bit too much so I started aiming for the size below...you know how it goes. I'm not at the lowest point I was but I'm struggling to keep my mind focused.

User Profile: alexaners7734
alexaners7734 February 17th, 2017

Enjoying hunger pangs today.