Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
I do not know why I binge eat and I do not know why I cannot stop. I hate myself when I binge. I want to be healed.
@Oneatatime24 - Figuring out why is tough, but definitely makes a big difference. One thing that can help is to track when you binge and all the factors you can think of around it to figure out what triggers your need. For some people, it's loneliness, for some boredom, for some interacting with a particular person or thing that's triggering. Once you find what it is, it can become so much easier to fight it by either avoiding that trigger or working on other methods of coping with it that are healthier. You can do this.
Have you ever tried writing an eating diary? It's not about the food you eat but about the situation, time, place and feelings you have when you are about to binge eat.
I have started eating a lot more normally within the past month, but i am at a high weight and my body refuses to budge. I feel like it's okay, because it is more important to recover. But the weight gain won't go away and it is freaking me out.
@rhea752 - You are 100% right that the recovery is more important, but it can definitely be frustrating when your body won't cooperate with what you want. Have you thought about talking to a nutritionist? Most people don't have the full knowledge to be able to figure out all of the reasons their body is doing one thing or another and managing the right diet, so getting some outside help might make a difference. Either way, keep pushing in recovery...it really is worth it and it sounds like you're really making progress. Take care
On day 11 been doing fairly well. My dad just passed away in his sleep yesterday so I don't know how much of an effect it will have. I'm just trying to take the days little by little.
@decembernight0608 - I am so sorry for your loss. If you need to talk at all, you can always reach out to me. You have made some tremendous progress, and it will be hard to keep it going while you grieve, but you are strong and determined and I know you can. Take care. <3
I am new to all of this, but I do not know how I got to this point. ONe day I was eating sweets and treating myself because I was sad and more unstable and than usual and now I constantly think about food. It controls me and my emotions. I have forgotten what "hungry" and "full" is and it all leads to me feeling horrible about myself afterwards.
@optimisticSpruce6258 - I can relate so much that it hurts. Eating disorders creep up so fast and take what was a small habit and turn it into a scary and out-of-control path. That said, you can get through this. Reaching out here is a huge first step and is so incredibly brave. And it tells me that you really want to start to heal. It's not fast or easy, but it is possible, and you have the strength to do it. You've taken one huge step, now what's your next step? What's one thing you can do today to move towards escaping this? Take care
Hey, I'm new. I've been abusing laxatives for a few years and don't know how to stop. I can stop for a day or two but then I always cave. Grateful for any stories or advice.
@123poise - Welcome, I'm glad you found this site! I don't have specific experiences with laxatives, but I can definitely relate to trying to recover and struggling to make it past a day or two.
First of all, I think stopping for a day or two is big. If you have been using them almost every day, any day you don't is a huge victory. To get a little further, I think there are a few things that might help.
1. Identifying what your key triggers are. What's different about the days you use them from the days you don't? What are you feeling right before you pull them out? Are there ways to avoid some of those triggers?
2. Be open and honest with yourself and others, and that means talking and reaching out. This can be family or friends in your life or anonymous strangers here, but being honest really does help lift the burden and make you feel just a little more accountable to recovery. It can also help when you're really feeling like you need the laxatives, to come talk to a listener or call up a friend and distract yourself until the urge lets up a bit.
3. Celebrate small victories. It's unrealistic to say that there is a magic trick and suddenly you'll never use laxatives again. Instead, recovery is a slow path that's lots of 3 steps forward, 2 steps back. But that's okay. Each day without using them is a victory. Two days is big. The first time you hit three days will be huge! You can do this, but you need to acknowledge all the work and progress you put in, even when it's disappointing later.
4. Forgive slips. It's hard when you make a lot of progress to see yourself then 'mess up', but it's a part of recovery. When it happens, acknowledge it, try to understand why it happened and how to try to avoid it in the future, then forgive yourself and move on.
Take care, and feel free to reach out for any support you need.
Today was a good day - I ate healthy meals and snacks. I was also able to have a treat without it triggering a binge or feeling guilty about it. Starting to feel I can enjoy food, rather than the thought of eating causing a lot of stress.
@SkyUnicorn - WOOHOO!!!!! That's fantastic, and I'm so happy for you! 
Yesterday, I ate so much. :( So today, so far I have not ate anything. I am afraid that the purgeing is hurting my body and it is actually scaring me. I feelhorrible today.
@PeachyPlug - I'm sorry you're feeling so terribly today. You're right that the purging can cause a lot of damage to your body, and I'm glad you're backing away from it. I do know, however, that for myself, restricting always made me more likely to binge later than if I just tried to eat normally, even after days where I felt that I ate too much.
Try to forgive yourself and move forward, rather than letting yesterday define today. And please reach out for the support you need. Take care
Day 15 its been a struggle ive just been binge eating no purging all this week because of my fathers passing. I think once this week is over because we are celebrating my dad's life tomorrow he wouldn't want us to mourn over his death. I have a feeling everything is going to go down hill but i don't want to think about it because I'm close to where i was awhile ago. So I'm trying to keep my head high and stay strong.
@decembernight0608 - You can do this. Take it one day, one meal, one moment at a time and don't worry about tomorrow until you have to. And don't hesitate to reach out for the support you need, from your family, friends, or the community here. Take care of yourself, and stay strong!
i've been trying to overcome my eating disorder but also be a dancer.. every time i dance i feel like i cant jump as high because im fat but then when i go to the doctor he tells me im very underweight.. but i just don't feel like i am underweight
@KellyLeon - It can be difficult when you have an eating disorder to accurately understand what your weight and body are, so to some extent, it's important to trust that the doctor is telling you the truth because, unlike the disorder, the doctor has no incentive to lie to you. Also, when it feels like you can't jump as well, etc., it might help to think instead about what being properly nourished will do to improve your dancing. Without eating, you lack the energy to keep moving, you risk passing out or injuring yourself, and you lose the muscle mass that is so important to dance. Take care, and please reach out if you need any support.
I used to eat so much but lately I'll only do one meal a day at most and i really hate myself and I wish I was dead honestly.
@Wowowowow - I'm so sorry to hear that you're struggling so much right now. If there's anything I can do to help support you, please let me know. I know it's really hard, but I promise that it is possible to come back from this and to relearn how to love yourself. Take care
