Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
All of the numbers are controlling my life. Calories, weight, bmi, measurements. I'm slowly wasting away and I just can't take it anymore.
@emilyrush15 - you can survive this. You are so much stronger than you realize and you can break free from the control of those numbers. I truly believe that.
I feel like my arms and double chin are expanding like the throat of a frog.
Does anyone else have binge eating disorder BED?
@pluckyIdea7406 - It's all too easy to feel negatively about our bodies and to see fast expansion where it isn't there. Can you try to refocus on what you like about your body? Maybe you have powerful lungs that let you sing or strong arms to hug those you love. What can your body do?
I need to stop eating too much, I feel disgusted.
@InnocenceKuchiki - You need to make sure you are giving your body the nourishment it needs. Even when it feels like it might, not eating doesn't actually fix anything. All the reasons that you are feeling this way are still there, even when you lose weight. Getting support on what's going on underneath it all is how you can actually find yourself again.
Does anyone else (with anorexia) ever want to eat but you physically can't. I've been doing so good but the last couple days I haven't been able to keep food down...
@Iwannabehappy - that's actually pretty common. When you restrict for so long, your body gets used to that and has a hard time adjusting back. Some things that can help are figuring out what's easiest for your body to manage - is it rich, calorie-dense foods in small quantities? is it liquid like soup or smoothies to ease into solid food? You can test some things out and I promise that with time, it gets easier to eat again without feeling so sick!
Thank you !
I'm always craving food, but I don't want to eat it. I'm always thinking about it, but I've not become physically unable to eat it.
hello, I've been bulimic for 10 years. No one knows what I'm dealing with, the anxiety, depression, guilt, extreme highs and lows are suffocating. I have a good life, blessed with a great family. I still can't stop hurting myself with food, and I don't know why. The cycles of emotion, alcohol, binging and purging are becoming too much, the last few years have been very difficult. I love my life, I need to find away to manage these emotions. I just want to be happy. I just want to make the people I love happy. I just want to love myself. Thank you for reading, I know I'll get through this.
@Ajourney12
I could have written what you just wrote,I'm barely on the beginning of my recovery. maybe we can help each other? (I'm not a listener on this site but I'm learning). My husband doesn't know (nor do I want him to) but I need to win this war. happy to help if you need support
It's so nice to see your reply, neither does my husband. And I don't have a sob story, I'm blessed with my family, just have to get this under control. As time passes the constant anxiety of am I dying or what am I doing to myself is getting stronger. It's so hard living two very different lives. I really just want to be happy. I'd love to support each other in any way we can. Joined yesterday so I'm not sure how everything works yet. So happy to hear you've started recovery. I know you'll feel so much better, you probably already do :-)
@Ajourney12
also @anomalia on this site really understands, and helped me make my first major breakthrough.
@Ajourney12 - you are 100% right that you will get through this! You have taken a huge first step by admitting it's a problem and reaching out here. That tells me you really want to heal. It's not an easy journey to recovery, but you have the strength, the courage, and the tenacity to get there. And we will be here to cheer you on the whole way. If you ever want to talk about it, explore resources, etc., feel free to PM me. Take care and good luck!
Thank you so much, I hadn't written those words or said them anywhere before. I really can't keep doing this, it's getting too hard and the anxiety and depression is coming more often. I have to get better. I'm happy to see others who understand and can relate.
@Ajourney12
How're you doing? I'm having intermittent progress but still some days where I feel that I could've done a lot better.
I am a emotional eater and am having a hard time right now. I lost 15 lbs over the the summer and won a weight challenge. Then I lost my dad, 3 ppl I care for at work and now a cousin to an overdose. My family is driving me crazy, eating is my drug , I am a nurse I am aware of what all i am doing to my self but can't seem to get a hold of my self. I miss my dad so much, I am not sure how to have a relationship with my mom now that my dad is gone. I have a wonderful husband and 3 boys , I have so much to be happy for,but I want to sleep or eat . I have great friends but the i am with them does not se3m to be what i need, I seem to get a handle on it then Monday comes and I fall off the wagon for better way of putting it. I am looking for support, I hope I can chat here when I am feeling like going to the fridge.
@2015wannasmile - this is definitely a good place to find support, to have someone to talk to when you're tempted to binge, etc. I'm so sorry for all of your losses - I can't even imagine how hard that must have been, and it's completely understandable to need a coping mechanism to deal with them. Now the next step is finding a healthier replacement. What other things could help you process your emotions, make you feel less stressed, etc.? What alternatives do you have?
Im 35yr old woman, am hypothyroid since child birth. She now 5yrs. Im trying to reduce my weight in all possible ways since 4yrs. But all going negative. I reduced only 2kilos since 2yrs. I followed all diet with respect ro hypothyroid, avoiding soy nd soy products, avoiding crucifer vegetables like cauliflower and cabbage etc. I use lots of olive oil. Every time i surf thro internet for info about how to stay fit. I do regular excercises nd yoga too. I even used weight loss medicines. Had body massage therapies too. But i donno im not losing weight. Somtimes i feel i exhausted..i failed. I hate to look myself in mirror even neighbors ..known people comment on my weight which makes me more depression. How can i tell them that i knew that im over weight nd struggling to lose it. Im 86kg now. I have more abdominal fat, rather than arms n legs. What may be the reason for my condition? Please anybody help me?. My diet is almost vegetarian, somtimes i eat eggs n fish rarely.
@ivoryGlobe5931 - From everything I know, it really sounds like you're taking all the right steps, so if it still isn't having any effect, have you talked to a doctor about it? I'm sorry it's been such a struggle, and if you ever need to vent or just need some extra support, feel free to PM me. Take care and remember that you are so much more than your weight! You are a beautiful, wise, caring, loving, fun, and interesting woman, mother, and friend!
Hi Anomalia, thank you so for your kind words. Yes im strong still because of beautiful people like you around. I would like to chat with you. Happiness always friend.
I can't understand why these thoughts aren't going away..I'm trying..really trying to just eat and don't care about it.and distract myself..but somehow it always comes back
@Shallan - I wish I had an answer or a trick that would make the thoughts go away for good, but I don't. What I can say is that as hard as it is and as long as it takes, it really does get better with time. It's not so much about those thoughts being gone permanently as filling your life and your mind with more positive thoughts and voices instead. Ones that can recognize the lies your eating disorder tells you and combat them with truths. It helped me a lot to read affirmations and positive quotes and keep them where I could see them frequently as reminders. My favorite resource for those is this.
Hope those help, and don't hesitate to reach out if you need some extra support! You are strong and brave and you can beat this!
Motivated and inspired. To restrict. 
@FuturePsychologist2 - Do you feel like you might be able to take some of that same inspiration and motivation and use it to drive you towards recovery?
@Anomalia I fight between recovery and relapse... :/
Scared beyond belief. I haven't binged in a a few weeks but since I have a job now I'm concerned grate ly that I will use the money I earn and have been trying to save towards binging again. I feel helpless and hopeless
@Sadyelady29 - Your fear is definitely understandable, but you have the strength within you to keep on your recovery journey. What has helped you in the past few weeks to avoid binging? Can you continue to lean on those same things now with your new job? When are your urges to binge the strongest? What can you do to protect yourself against them or distract yourself from them?
It's natural to struggle and slip from time to time. But fighting back and reaching out as you are here are signs of progress in recovery. You have had so many successes already and you can continue to progress. And we will be here to support you every step of the way. Take this one day at a time and you can get through.