Eating Disorder Community - How do you actually feel today?
Been trying to convince myself for two days not to purge so I came on here to find support.
@Rufina77 I know that you can do this. The fact that you came here to have support shows how far did you go and you must be so proud of you. Recovery has its ups and downs, and in difficult periods the old habits seem so confortable. But you are stronger than this, you can control your mind.
@Malinconia I went to see my psychiatrist today and he is switching around my meds and putting me on Sttratra. I don't know if it will help but we'll see how it goes.
@Rufina77 Hope it works out well for you.
I'm feeling sooo crappy today. The ED is screaming at me to go back to my habits and I'm tempted to give in. I'm tired of fighting. I just want to throw in the towel.
@BrokenAndBeautiful It's difficult not leave our ED to control us. And sometimes is so tiring and it seems a continuos fight...but if you stick with it at same point it will be just normal to control it, to notice that thought in your mind and without judging it or accomplishing it return to your day normally. Believe in your self: you are stronge and you have the right of feel good.
@BrokenAndBeautiful don't throw in the towel. You are strong and beautiful and worth fighting for... Scream back louder and keep fighting
Hei.. Actually last 3 days I feel like shit.. Eating everything and then throwing it up.. At least I won't have all thic calories.. Sometimes I just want to end it all.. But it's even worse if I can't throw up.. It's hard but I get used to it ☺😕
@EquestrianProgress
i'm really sorry you are feeling this way for the past three days and i really hope you are feeling any better by now. it's always important if we can try to understand how are we feeling before going to do anything with food, being aware is a very important key :) you are doing a great job by sharing with us 
I'm beginning to realize how out of control I now am, and I don't know what to do. I used to just purge what I ate but as a result my appetite has increased so that I'm even when I'm not (that sentence made no sense right there). My family is beginning to tell me how I seem to be gaining weight, and I do see how I have gained 1-2 kg. But what on earth should I do then? I can't help it; I seriously tried to stay clean and suceeded 10 days, but I remained craving food and more bloated than ever. Exercise is a difficult thing with my schedule and no one even knows what's going on with me, so I'm just sitting here panicking about exams and the fact I'm completely helpless in this situation.
@ittybittybelle - It's not easy, but you can do it. 10 days is an enormous accomplishment, and one that shows me how strong and capable you are. I think what's important to remember is that when you go 10 days and then slip, you're not starting back at day 1, you're starting at day 11, because each day that you are able to avoid purging is a day you aren't harming your body and a day that you are helping your body remember normalcy and adjust back to your old appetite. It's hard because usually the purging has to stop before the binging can follow, and that's an uncomfortable period between, but taking small steps and moving one day at a time is what will ultimately get you there.
@Anomalia You have no idea what that meant to me, thank you.
I have been feeling so stressed in every part of my life that i bought a $70 romper with my grocery money... I literally bought it because i fit into a smaller size and if i bought groceries i wouldnt fit into it anymore.... 👌🏼
i feel digusted with myself i just wanna hide under an blanket forever
I've been eating regularly for a few weeks and I've been feeling so good. Even though I'm stressed, I was genuinely happy for most of today, until I looked at myself in the mirror. I've gained a lot of weight and I feel really gross and I'm afraid I'm going to start restricting again...
@NebulousCoffee
I understand how you feel. But the person you see in the mirror isn't you. It's just a picture of your mind.
I feel stressed cause i had anorexia that was trasformate into binge eating... So i regain all the kilos back and more... I don't know what to do to regain control... Because of this i developed also depression and apathy... I don't understand my emotions at all anymore and i suffer for insomnia. I can't focus on study so my grades dropped and most of the time i just don't want to go out so i skip a lot school and ice skating. I don't want to fail but i am already failing and i am desperated... I just want to be happy and loved... I don't know what to do....
@Erasednobody20 - You've already taken the first step, which is recognizing there's a problem and reaching out here - that's not easy to do, and it counts for a lot. It's pretty common for different forms of eating disorders to morph over time into others - from restricting to binging or vice versa - and ultimately, they stem from the same underlying emotions.
Now that you've taken your first step by reaching out, what's the next step you can take to move forward towards recovery? It doesn't have to be huge, but what can you do, starting today, to work towards health?
@Anomalia
The truth is that i don't want to recover completely... I just want to be skinny like before and happy and successfull.. I only want to fix binge eating and depression. i want to starve again..but i can't do it. I know that is bad but for the first time of my life i felt strong with anorexia... I don't want to be a failure o normal.. I want to be special. Sorry if i say this... To all..
I feel like shit because I've fucked up again.. A few weeks ago I started running in order to get in shape (badbad idea) and now my knees hurt so much, apparently I shouldn't have started so quickly. So now I'm not able to continue running so I feel like a failure again :/ I feel like I should be running or I'll never be skinny, I never should've went for a run in the first place because it triggered so much bad stuff that I had already got over with. The most annoying thing in this is that I know my brain is lying to me, in my opinion people don't have to be skinny to be pretty but my own mind just doesn't seem to get it.
@laurabunny - That difference between what your mind allows for others and what it allows for you is all too common. It's good that you can recognize that it's lying, but that doesn't always make it easier to manage. But what are some things that you love about yourself already, that have nothing to do with your weight? What are things you aspire to be, besides thin? When you think of people you admire, what traits to they have?
@Laura ...
I told someone new today. I'm not sure if she knew that I've struggled with eating before. She said if I could just give you anything on a plate right now *poof* here it is, what would you want to eat? And I said, nothing. She said it's slippery, the slope of eating disorders. I agreed. I told her I'm not doing well today. Well, the last few weeks.
Anyway, I just found this part of the forum today. I'm sort of afraid to read it - that it will make things worse, but I do want help (I think).
I'm feeling very sad today/tonight. I'm grieving and I feel I've no control. Help, please?
@cyanPlatypus6370 - Hi lovely, I'm really proud of you for opening up here and with your friend - being honest about what's going on and asking for help are both big and hard steps, but really important ones. If you would like to talk more 1-1, you're more than welcome to message me - I would love to support you on your path to recovery. Take care, lovely, and stay strong! You have so much more strength and courage than you realize, just waiting to come out.
@Anomalia @Laura @DancingAlong
Today I feel 'bleah.' Again :( Like the last couple nights, I feel sick to my stomach. I don't know if I feel ... 1. stomach cramps because I'm actually hungry, 2. menstrual cramps b/c that's supposed to start any day now too, 3. stomach or abdominal pain b/c I'm upset, nervous, anxious, etc. I am also not sleeping well. I don't know who to talk with about this. I am extremely uncomfortable but who can I talk to? So then I also feel sad.
I just wrote an email to my friend, whom I mentioned above. She is out of town, on vacation with her hubby. I'm not sure if I will get to see her before June 18 or not. June 18 she and her youth group from church are heading to France.
I just want to be with someone, who I can talk to. Yeah, I'm sad.
@cyanPlatypus6370
Thanks for the tag. You are so brave to post here & share. We honor you for all you have gone through, your struggles, your wins, and all of your successes. I believe in you and 7 Cups is here for you!. Sending you a hug! Keep being brave!