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Hi :) I never thought I would be back down this road but seems I have been blind to my problems. I think my situation is non typical in that I started with little symptoms like hiding my eating, not eating in public, I would eat small things like a sweet or even an apple but would eat carbs or bigger meals in private, with family or wait until I could be alone. That was up to age 16. Around that time I had to have an operation on my intestines. Although potentially life saving It left me with horrible after symptom of sensitive to every food, the slightest bit unrelaxed and I get uncontrollable farting. I refused to go back to school, I could not cope with now being the 'disgusting' person. My life has followed similar pattern since with work. I can now eat with work colleagues but very controlled about what I eat and how much. I've lost two jobs due to this problem, because rather than 'fart' the fear is that bad that I blacked out and then left and the other I went to the toilet that often( trial period) they said they chose the healthier person basically. Intimate relationships have been the worst area affected though. I Aldo started drinking when in them and not eating the whole time I was with the person, when I got home or they left I would binge. I knew my body could not cope so I refused to see any of my boyfriends for more than 3 days a week. I would wake up with them, wait until they went to the toilet and then lock them out my bedroom and ask them to leave. I couldn't sleep next to them well, even with alcohol and would wake up with cold/hot sweats and palpitations. I haven't had sex or anything for 6 years. I've not had a job that's lasted longer than a couple of weeks. I've put on two stone, I eat cake and sweets everyday. I can't handle my emotions when I eat healthily anymore. Sorry so long but had to get it out.

Hi, I'm 19 and while I haven't been diagnosed I suffer a lot with thoughts about starving myself and when I do manage to eat there are obsessive thoughts over keeping clean which means there are a lot of foods I feel like I can't eat. I also have to eat things in certain ways or I can get very anxious and agitated. Sometimes I can push through my thoughts but there are times when I struggle a lot to keep a good diet going. Often, I find my head is arguing between starving or bingeing which can be incredibly frustrating. I'm just hoping I can find someone who understands..

Hello

Well yet again I have relapsed. Cool

Hello. My name is Rachel and I've struggled with eating disorders for 17 years. I recovered from anorexia, it took me 9 years but I finally had enough strength. I'm trying to recover from bulimia.

Hello. My name is Rachel and I've struggled with eating disorders for 17 years. I recovered from anorexia, it took me 9 years but I finally had enough strength. I'm trying to recover from bulimia.

Hi I'm Natasha. Im 36 and have had anorexia since 2000. Well I wasn't formally DXd until 2003 but I digress. I have been in and out of TX facilities for years and at this point I feel like at my age this has become my life. My identity. There us nothing left for me. Therapy doesn't work. I am a therapist. I know what to do. Maybe I don't want to get better. Anyone identify. XOXO

Hi, I'm 23 this coming Sunday. I'm 5'5 and weigh 155-160 pounds. I've always been heavier, always been chubby. Last year I developed a chronic illness in the digestive system called Ulcerative Colitis. It's like Chrons. Before I was diagnosed, I had symptoms for almost a year. I lost 35 pounds, I was about 120-122 and I was so happy. I don't remember ever being that happy about my body. But I was sick, like incredible abdominal pain, blood in the toilet, 6 cankers in my mouth at a time so I couldn't eat, I was in pain. But when I could eat, boy I ate. I ate and I ate but I still lost weight because of the blood loss and excessive bathroom trips from the Colitis. I developed a food addiction. But I was skinny and everyone around me noticed. My mom was worried and said I looked thinner every time I saw her. But I felt confident. Looming back, I know I was just sick. I got fed up with the pain and blood and switched doctors and he immediately knew what was wrong and I got medication after some testing. The medication did wonders for me. I was able to go back to work and everything. But I still had the same eating habits so I have now gained every pound back and I'm still eating too much. I eat when I'm full, I think about my next snack or next meal right after I'm done eating. I eat late at night. I just think about food. I have no confidence once again, my fiancé has gained a ton because we both started eating too much at the same time. I would be so much heavier if I wasnt a vegan. If I was eating meat and dairy I know I'd be even bigger than I already am. I know I'm not overweight yet but I'm getting there and still feel like it. People with colitis are supposed to be skinny and unable to gain weight. I feel like the only one that has trouble losing. I don't know what I'm supposed to say here other than the fact I'm here, I'm struggling, and I need to talk to someone that can relate.

I don't know where to start. I've been in this starve-binge "relationship" with food for 2 years now. I either starve until I feel like crying and can barely move because I have no energy or I eat until I am so full that I feel like throwing up. I have tried many times to talk about this with my family and friend and none of them understands me. They don't take it serious. I don't know what to do anymore. I excercise regurarly but when I don't even for a day, I lose control and start eating until I am in physical pain. I am so confused. I am either too strickt when it comes to what I eat or I just don't care if the food I am eating is bad for me. There is no in between..

Hello I'm Samantha I've been in anorexia recovery for a year and 2 months I just recentally starting excersisng again (with permission from my doctor) and I've been keeping up with eating. Things can be difficult and the thoughst feel crippling sometimes. But Im doing everything I can to stay healthy and love myself